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I am heavy of heart tonight. My dearest love and I have not been able to talk much at all lately. I called her to wish her a Happy mother's day. She was sleeping when I called and I woke her. She has been in poor health and the medication she is on makes her extremely tired. So she sleeps so often now. She is hardly online even when she is awake. She is often away when she is awake anymore. I do not balme her at all. I completely understand. It's just hard when someone you love is suffering. And it's hard when you cannot comunicate with that person. I am begining to feel disconnected from her. Get well soon my dearest velvet101. I will return to you from this hell soon enough and we will no longer have to worry about spending enough time together as we will be together as much as we choose to be. With all my love to you.

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Leinth
10:56 May 19 2009

**hugs**

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I call this place an upper level of Hell because it reminds me so much of a post-apocolyptic movie and I always imagine that if Hell really did exist and had levels, as some beliefs suggest, that this is exactly what it would be like in a level for the lessor sinners. Today was just another average day here. The wind blew all day long but is hot. Yes, even the wind is hot. Upon stepping outside it felt like stepping into an oven. 106 today. Hell, even the night is hot. Nothing but sand around and garbage. And of course a lot of military equipment. Another long day of hard work. It seems never ending. The good part you wonder, the day has finally ended. Yep, that's the good thing of everyday. The one thing you look forward to here is the end of the day. But even then it only means you're that much closer to the begining of the same damn thing all over again. Forgive me if I seem whiney and crap. I'm not really a negative person and I do find fun during the day. These are just the things that everyone here feels and from time to time we all need to get it out and off our chests. But no matter how bad it gets, I'm a warrior and must stay strong. No matter what I must press on and keep the mission foremost in my mind. A warrior never quits, never surrenders, never give in, and never excepts defeat. We fight to the bitter end, no matter what that end might be. Honor, courage, loyalty, and strength are all that matter. Another day in hell and several more to go, but I have sworn to go fist to fist with the Devil himself if that's what's necessary. And that's just what I'll do. Now it is time for me to lay down for bed, good night to you all and may the gaurdians watch over and protect you all. But if you find yourself alone in the darkness facing down evil intent on harming you, I'm comeing to battle the wicked of the night. For I am the gaurdian of the darkness and all who are drawn to the dark.