The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I just needed to write something about what has happned to meand my family resently. It's about my Aunt Sue actually....as I told a friend....I feel rather guilty about what has happend because most of the time my aunt found reasons to bitch and complain about anything you would get her for Christmas or welll....anything. she ALWAYS found a way to bitch aboiut something or someone and usually attack the family in the process, but she was just being herself it was how she was raised. and again there's another but, I never knew she had all these problems...she still didn't have to bitch about every little thing even with the knowledge i posses now.



I just miss her at times. I see her in my minds eye sometimes, her face and I remember her voice too, but I see her pulling that trigger too. I see her raising that gun and letting go. And that makes me even more guilty because I don't cry when I see it. And it doesnt help my guilt that I made fun of her when she was alive and didnt know it BECAUSE of that constant bitching!! ARG! lol I still loved her despite the fact....I never thought something like this would ever happen....I never knew how she felt. If my fucking shit headed parents from the deepest pits of Hell itself would have told me then maybe I could have done something!! They could still could have told me anyway. I did notice that she was bitching less...I guess I should have known something was wrong.....I shouldn't beat myself up, but I can't help it. I guess it comes with the shock and me being me....I'll stop rambling now....

"O great intelligent Being! hidden and existing in and for the universe,

You can hear me because You are within me and You can see me because You are all-seeing; please drop within my soul a seed of Your wisdom to grow a sapling in Your forest and to give of Your fruit. Amen!"



By: KAHLIL GIBRAN, from 'Mirrors of the Soul', p73. Translated by: Joseph Sheban Philosophical Library New York 1965



"MY SOUL IS MY COUNSEL and has taught me to give ear to the voices which are created neither by tongues nor uttered by throats.

"Before my soul became my counsel, I was dull, and weak of hearing, reflecting only upon the tumult and the cry. But, now, I can listen to silence with serenity and can hear in the silence the hymns of ages chanting exaltation to the sky and revealing the secrets of eternity."



By: KAHLIL GIBRAN, ibid, facing title page

IMMORTALITY

by FRANCESCA FALK MILLER



And there shall come a day in Spring

When death and winter lose

Their chill white hold quite suddenly.

A day of sunlit air when winging birds return

And earth her gentle bosoms bare

So that new thristy life can nurture there.

That breathless hour so filled with

Warm soft miracles, that faith is born anew.

On such a day, I shall return to you.

You may not touch me, no,

For you have thought of me as dead.

But, in the silence, Lift believing eyes

toward the dear infinity of skies.

And listen with your very soul held still.



For you will hear me advancing on some little hill,

Not far away, not dead, not even gone.

And without stirring from your quiet place,

Your love will welcome mine across this little space.

And we will talk of every lovily thing when I return in Spring



This will have to do for now until I get one up and running that I created for her....I'll try tonight....



My Aunt Sue committed suicide this afternoon. Please PLEASE PLEASE!!!! pray for her and show her your love even if you never knew her thank you!!!! from the very depths of my broken heart!!

I'm fet up with people and being hurt it's getting annoying! UGH!! I'm not a monster!! God I miss my Tony....I want to cry so bad right now and burn something too! .....Mostly cry.....