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I know that my friends over the ocean have been experiencing Black Friday for quite a while, nothing new there. But now the UK have jumped on the bandwagon.



Silly me thought surely we wouldn't be fighting like idiots for bargains. After all it's pretty new to us. But no, I was wrong. The amount of videos online from various large stores including Tesco that I have watched this morning brought a huge despondent sigh from me. Even moreso when I found out that my local store was like a fighting arena. Hell, I bet most that fought and scratched for that 'bargain' television model (insert various 'bargains' here) already have a better one at home!



I feel sorry for my friends that work at that store, hopefully some of them had the foresight to pull a 'sickie'. Zombie apocolypse? It's already here!

Tonight is a strange night for me, although I have had this feeling most of the day.



Hard to pinpoint it but what I do know is I feel restless. I also feel content as well which is a weird mix. It's like being a push me pull me but my legs are firmly on the ground and not budging. My analytical mind has kicked in and the sense it is making is not exactly sense.



I sit in my house and although no windows are open I can feel and smell the crispness of the night air and it is subtlely teasing me. I would write, as that is what I do when I feel like this, but tonight my mind is occupied with nothing and everything.



The only thing for me to do right now is ride it out in my own way.

Hauntingly beautiful

It seems slowly but surely I am actually integrating (but that isn't the correct word, just a convenient one) my old self with the self that I have become. The self that I have become appears at times to be my own worst critic. It is that nagging voice that tells me this needs doing now, why do you think such folly?, you must have a routine. On and on it goes, the minute I open my eyes in the morning.



I now tell it to be quiet and things will be achieved at my own pace. I stand up now proud in the fact that I am a dreamer, rather than feeling like some drop out that has lost her way. I do not possess lots of material things, no car, no house or state of the art computer. But what I do have is love and empathy...both of others and myself.



My old self has wings upon which I soar at times. I journey to worlds within my mind where tapestries of words and emotions dance like little marionettes behind the eyes that look upon the uniform world of the outside.



I am distracted as I write this and rambling on somewhat. Maybe all that I have written here makes no sense, but then again I've always been a believer in reading between the lines. No coincidences, just synchronicity.