The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I thought I could be happy for once. I thought I was wanted. But I guess I am not because I have come to find out what I thought was all that it seemed. And all that it seemed has truly hurt me. In the beginning I knew there was a constant secret that was hidden. I knew that what I seek was forbidden. And once I had a little taste I got lost believing in lost dreams and desires I had long forgot. A man I thought I was beginning to know, sure in the hell lied to me for sho. I feel this deep anger and pain inside. Because I thought I could seriously make him mind. And for the short time that we were together he mad me feel wanted, desired and damn that nigga was really clever. He used me and now I feel the pain. What did he want from me? What was it that he felt he needed to use me to play all these hurtful games. I was vulnerable and I was stupid, but naive is no more and neither is the sweet and innocent woman. I thought I could make things happen if I wanted it bad enough but I guess you don't always get what u want. He is constantly on my mind and I can't think of anything much anymore. I hate that he felt he needed to prey on me, and I hate the fact that I let him. By the time I caught on to the on slaught it was too late. I had already fallen from grace. And I have many questions that burn through my mind. Was any of this real? Did you feel anything for me? Why would you treat me like this? What have I ever done to you? What am I to you? What da hell do you want from me? And why tell me why did you have to lie to me? Was it me you truly wanted or was it a thrill to see me fall? I tried so hard not to like you. But I bow my head now I guess you can say you've won. Are we done?



All these things I have typed here are all the things I want to know. My feelings here are real and I don't play games or try to put on a game for show. I am a real woman and no one can change me. I have to put myself first at all times because no one else is gonna take care of me.