The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

we are all wearing our masks....all of the time....

why do we wear them I wonder...is it to avoid showing others who we are....or is it ourselves we are trying to decieve...most of us will not even reveal the face beneath the mask to even ourself after all....for fear that we will not know the person we see.....

for every situation and with every person we change the mask we show....but we never really take it off.....

I wonder....if we were ever to be brave enough to take the masks off.....would there just be a blank surface?

I'm in a painfull philosophy mood...kinda hate those

Seems to me that I am meeting more and more cases of internet bravado all the time on this site.....you know the type....they ruffle their feathers...insult and demean.....or try to...threaten...or say they would if they were there in person....

but seriously....99% of them would shut up and say nothing....

and very few of them can even be creative while insulting....they just get rude....

I have no issue with a creative insult....

but boringly rude is just infantile

very odd.....i've never considered myself to wallow in depression and self pity too much....

and even tho I have been to numerous suicide funerals....I have never fallen into that mental state....but of late I seriously find myself wondering why I bother to continue existing?

now don't worry....self extinction isn't really a part of my makeup I don't think....

but I do seem to have fallen into this serious state of perpetual depression lately and am really having a hard time climbing out of it...

it's just been one of those months where I can be in a room full of people I know and get along with....and yet it feels as though I am on a deserted island in the middle of them....

and the lonliness is becoming hard to deal with

ever have one of those days where things just seem too much.....

where you jus want to stick a pack on your back and fucking dissapear....stick out the thumb and start walking....

i've been having one of those months so far.....

and the only place I really want to go I can't go to for a long time yet......

well life certainly has it's ups and it's downs....

I hate moving..but when the house you live in has both plumbing and electrical problems it's really the only thing a guy can do.....

so my puter access is going to be rather limited for a while......

damn...this bums me out to the point I can't even get into a good rant mood.....just too blah.....

oh well....shit happens