The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

i see you sitting there in the corner,

i wonder who you are from a distance,

as i start to get closer to you,

there comes a fog out of nowhere,

it is consuming everything around me,

in trapping me in my current space,

I wake up from the from fog of the dream,

that felt so real like it was ment to be,

instead it all falls apart again as usual,

before it could truly begin,

As I sit there in bed,

i see a ghost floating near me,

it is whispering sweet nothings in my ear,

temping me to be positive on everything going on,

telling me it will be ok in the end,

The reality for all of those sweet whispers,

the ghost has been nothing but lies,

Hiding in the darkness of the shadows,

Waiting for the right moment,

to spread lies to play with my heart,

to earn the attention,

you say you need for your entertainment,

also the disappointment that is suppose to follow,

in my mind its puts me in a cage

without no end in sight,

no where to get out,

always to be in a place that i do not wish to be at,

forever to be locked up

without a way to become free,

to have a chance to find the thing,

I have searching for all my life,

to be denied every time for your own personal amusement,

forever that every time i get close it is taken away,

I hate it so much,

I just want the whispering ghost to fly away

not be there anymore to remind me that

love and happeness will never be part of my life

and will be stuck with nothing more,

than a whispering ghost the rest of my life,

forever to truly haunt me when im awake,

and to torrent me in my dreams until the day i die,

its always interesting when someone pulls the rug away from you and takes away the thing that you have always wanted in your life. i maybe be overly dramanic but in my heart that is whats going on in my life currently. To think I was this close to getting the one missing link in my life thanks to own idiotness I have wasted money and time trying to presure it in the end of it all. Its a lessioned learned to let in people into my world if there are just going to mess around around on me and just go somewhere else. if i distined to be alone for the rest of my life and be the only guy in the world who cant have a woman to call his own. i guess in the end it is too mauch too ask as it just blew up in my face really big time. My own issues is that i tried to warn myself that this could happened and it did. Now I have to put on the lone ranger hat and glasses and ride off to the next adventure in my life. At the sametime in my own heart i am a lost soul waiting to be found again. The question is that will that ever happen again. That is a question that will and has become an inner struggle that is something I need to deal with and i have to accept the fate that has been given to me and i feel the need to put my wall on my emtions and just truly hide them from the world as they need to stay hidden away from prening eyes. That is something i have personally deal with on my own as its a hard propblem to deal with someone elses input on it. Its my own personal demon that will always be there whither I like it or not. Its time as they say to close that mini chapter of my life and move because thats all i can do with now. Now that i truly know the true results. I hate it when people have to hide the truth and i escaplly hate when I have to hide the truth from with my own mind. Its my own personal issue that has to be delt with before I can truly move on. other wise the lone ranger will always be there to be the biggest plain in the ass that has always been there and just needs to go away asap because it is something that im frankly tired of dealing with it on a daily basis and im tired of the inner pain that exists in my own heart that needs to go away from my life asap. it feels like an anchor on my own ship just holding me down from the places that i want to go in my life and frankly im just so fucking sick of it all. Will you please just away and leave me the fuck alone i just want to move from you and become a better person that I know I am and know that i can be become. Its just for now i need to go through it alone all over again and learn from my mistakes and try to understand why they happened and make damn fucking sure it doesnt happen again because i dont want the same results to happen all over again. The pain in my heart right now drives me away from it and makes me think that I will never truly have the happiness that I have been after and i just wish for one day to have this hole in my heart filled to have some one to love and be with someday because I know now it just wont be with you. period. Thanks for nothing world because you have failed me again all over again. its time to ride into the sunset and move on to bigger and things in the future because that is the only thing that i can truly do with myself and my life in the true future of things.