The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Well, today is Christmas. Great joy that was. Not really. I wish that for at least once for a day my family could settle their difference and get along, but no they much rather scream at each other and make like difficult for everyone. Lovely considering how I’m the one that’s normally stuck in the cross fire. Life sucks. Lately I feel so lost and empty. I no longer feel I can open up and talk to my best friend, whom of which I can normally tell everything to, but I’m tired of being a burden in everyone’s life. I mean not even my mom seems to care any more. Or perhaps she cares more for herself than my sanity? My telling her that I want to die doesn’t even phase her. It’s always “Anna what the fuck do you want me to do?” or “I’m fucking tired of hearing that.” Well, perhaps I’m tired of feeling this way all the time. I’m tired of pretending to be happy and okay. For once I want to be truly happy. Therapy doesn’t even help anymore. Nor do the antidepressants. For now ,at least, I haven’t gone back to cutting. I do not wish to have to visit the insane asylum because that’s exactly where my family will send me. I don’t need that. Well, actually I’m not sure what I need. Help? Proof? Death? I want to understand why I’m like this? Why I have to live like this? Am I truly that bad of a person that I must be punished like this?



How pathetic can I be?