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Dutchy wants to go rogue 14:53 Nov 01 2013
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I'm feeling an extraordinary surge of fuck the world... My only two real world friends; one is a raging whore who I come to the aide of through her various (and too frequent) break ups with guys she fucks within seconds of meeting -- and remains amazed when they turn around and dump her after a week... She's always MIA when I rarely ask for her. That's number one. The second, I've known him for about 15-20 years and he will not fall out of love with me despite my constant and blatant blasts of "nevahhhhhhhhhh!!!!"
He's there for me and is an awesome friend, but gets all dopey and googly-eyed after awhile -- which means some fucking Shakespearen sonnet is coming. So, I can only see him every so often.
I've secluded myself so much that its biting me in the ass. More and more, the Dutchy that gives so much, now wants to take mine, yours and everyone else's.
I'm starting to regret having been such a failure at suicide.
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COMMENTS
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lordess
19:24 Nov 01 2013
Oh cmon. I know how you feel. Im not sure what to do either. Just stay in, clear the head of suicidal thoughts, or if you wish to indulge in your fantasies, come up with a list of ways to die. I do that. I even Google it. Sorry if I offended you by this. Read, make music, anything to ease the pressure. :)
DuckStar
19:40 Nov 01 2013
::hugs::
CryingDutchess
05:24 Nov 02 2013
Lordess, honey, I'm way past begin the type to put their business out there and then have the audacity to be offended. I think I'm basically toward the ass-end of my suicide whining... Meaning, I've vastly improved (thanks to violent video games and morbid places to vent -- here). I've always gotten a kick out I "1000 Ways to Die". Since I have to nerve to call myself a writer, I've been writing about murder, kill, die-die since I was around 6. I actually dig that you search this out on google -- it's like watching home videos of Disneyland and no longer needing to go!
Ducky-Baby -- you are my Mistress of Hugs.