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I just don't have the drive to do much, right now. I'm not feeling awe-inspired by a single fucking thing and it is becoming an issue. I'm not talking to my friends enough, I'm not playing nice at home... or anywhere, for that matter. I'm so damned tired. *sigh* I feel my life just leaking away like piss. Someone, anyone -- please flush the toilet.

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Xzavier
03:42 Dec 19 2008

Well it does sound like your mind is taking yourself hostage until you begin to change up your routin etc. You know I'm here for ya if you need a muse, or just need someone to go and make booze runs :)

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atyourwindow
07:01 Dec 19 2008

you need to excersize, it will clear your mind sis ....trust me it works, sounds dumb doesnt it?....its the cure for deppresion i tells ya.

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Sinora
11:17 Dec 19 2008

Come with me..*takes her by the hand*...let me inspire you..*lays her head on my ample breasts* only don't tell x-man coz he don't like to hear about booby's.



Hmmm maybe that's not such a good idea...*am now questioning my sexuality*.

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XxLadyDarkRaynexX
20:28 Dec 19 2008

Yes sis ,must find things to to do.Looks out at the snow. Let's go make a snow family !

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dabbler
08:43 Dec 29 2008

Take an invitiry of current supplies, now devise methods of brutality manufactered by that inventory.. Not that I do that.. I just read about it .. In a real crime novel or something.

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XxLadyDarkRaynexX
04:10 Dec 31 2008

I really miss you sis ...and am really concered at this point I have called i have messaged i have done everything but drive to the city to finds you to make sure you are okies.



Me and Brendan are really worried about you



we loves you please just call or something ..

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I am declaring war on Ebonic-Woman! My arch-nemesis must fall and fall hard! Today, we had our fake-ass Christmas party at one of those typical "fast-food-made-to-look-like-a-restaurant-but-you-just wanna-drink" joints. I give our toothpick-sized bartender my credit card and let the team order up.



Now, as I am watching ESPN, I suddenly realize, not only am I at the ass-end of the bar by my damned self, but Ebonic-Woman has cast her cliquish dice and made it quite apparent that any advancements of kindness toward her will be met with solid cement walls of assholiness.



I tend to get along quite well with people, so I am thoroughly befuddled as I text away on my phone asking random friends to nuke the neighborhood we're in. All the guys, no prob -- we talk football, work, whatever... The girls? Maybe two or three are sincere and the rest are total maxi-pad heads. That's right! I said MAXI-PAD HEADS!

Mostly, the name works because their brains are constantly leaking out and they really should be sanitary about the leakage... the rest is because I am immature and like funny name-calling.



So, THANK THE HEAVENS -- one of the workers has to get her kid to some pee-wee league something or another and I almost cried with gratitude since her leaving allows a window for me to make a mad dash for the door. Fuck the team, I charged everything they ordered up to that point and wished them all the best for the holidays. Open bar on me was closed.



Now, I understand that on some level this seems very childish. It is. I know it's fact that 8 out 10 people you meet are assholes. So, if you are standing between two people that are pretty cool? Guess who you are?! Maybe, I am the asshole... maybe I managed to get many assholes to migrate at the same time... maybe I should have just become a proctologist? Still, asshole or not -- I would never make someone feel left out. It's just not cool. I'm annoyed it happened to me, but at the same time -- I can think of two people I would like to have convos with and one wasn't there and the other showed up too late. I'll just write the damned bill off and call it a day.



My plan for the future battles with Ebonic-Woman are one of two: kill them all with sickening Mary Poppins-like kindness... Or, kill them and not put the effort into the kindness. Oh... if there are any police reading this, um, this is a prank... Yeah.. A prank!

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Jho
23:28 Dec 17 2008

Kill her



Kill her and take her stuff



Take her stuff then eat her heart



nom nom nom!

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CryingDutchess
23:48 Dec 17 2008

Umm, Jho? Thank you for, yet again, showing that I am the sane one in this relationship.

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I am proud of dabbler -- simple as that.



Veiled Mockery on VR

Posted: 19:49:12 - Dec 15 2008

Times viewed: 286



A handful of cases have been developing, of disrespectful, and provoking

Behavior on the site.



Have you noticed the pointless practices of such profiles?



How have you been dealing with such distriptive behavior?



What advice (besides blocking) do you have for those who are subjected to

Such senseless activity?





MY REPLY:



Posted: 21:06:01 - Dec 16 2008

Times viewed: 9



Well, those of you that know me, know I am going to tackle this one with as much candor as possible.



VR is no longer what is used to be. Any of you members that have been around for at least three years (or very well near that) can see the changes all the more clearly. We have been infiltrated by mainstream, by the little kiddies sneaking a go at mummy's laptop, the divinely sadistic and multiple sad cases of people who truly need psychological help.



At the end of the day, this is merely a digital corner of a huge universe. It should not be life altering -- however, for some of us who have watched this place grow... and now retard, it means more than that. For those of us who came here and built real friendships, relationships -- goals and aspirations; many of you are now watching that positivity be eaten away by angry moths.



Ignore? Block? Let's call it like it is -- sure, we can do that. We even have administration that assist. I would like to say I believe in all the administrators. However, that would be a blatant lie as there are those who sadly add fuels to fires they should put out. What is saddest is that some of these people have been around from the beginning. Where they began to morph into the very things this site was not about, is beyond my comprehension. Still, shame on you for bringing us all down your toilet.



Too many people have been getting hurt here, lately. It is ridiculous. It should nto be happening. Between the sudden popularity in whoring oneself on their profile and knifing others in the back for sport -- I no longer find this to be veiled mockery. It is blatant as a punch in the stomach.



Once upon a time, I will say, VR helped save my life. I feel a level of gratitude and debt for that. As for this silly transformation into kindergarten... I see no reason for me to merely ignore an intruder in my house. While everyone takes a blind eye approach, the inmates will take over the asylum. I'm watching. I refuse to see VR turn into the Titanic. However, there are leaks in the bulkheads that need attention.



*laughs* I guesstimate four people will read my response. The rest? *laughs*

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Nightgame
02:30 Dec 17 2008

I too am enjoying the thread he's begun. I have read each and every response including yours, which I found to be very well written. I have my own opinions about this some in agreement with everyone some not but I am choosing to hold my tongue at least for now as I want to see more fully how it develops. Too often if an admin posts in a thread it seems to slant or stall the development of a good discussion. But I too enjoy Dabbler's threads, they almost always make a body think.

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atyourwindow
02:37 Dec 17 2008

they tried to make a dabbler toilet paper once , but it wouldnt take shit from anyone.

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Sinora
09:28 Dec 17 2008

I have'nt checked out the thread yet this morning, well done. I'm wondering if I am actually the only person who has not had a problem with admins ?

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captainglobehead
14:13 Dec 17 2008

I have been watching VR take on a different attitude. People rarely leave comments to journal entries anymore. I think too many are afraid of hurting feelings and retribution. Egos made of glass abound here now. Few stand up to a challenge or argue intelligently to defend an opinion. Any indication of a differing opinion triggers name-calling and backstabbing instead of honest debate.

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Jho
15:54 Dec 17 2008

You know its awesome when they'd rather have pedophiles than Jho on the site!

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dabbler
04:31 Dec 18 2008

When people start communicating effectivly, such skull drudery is shaken, insteed of stirred.



I have seen how well this site functions, as well as what hobbles it.



It is as much what was not said in the thread, as what was said in the thread.

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moonkissed
14:35 Dec 19 2008

ok i have to go check out dabs thread, i hate to miss them. thanks Dutchess.

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Looks like the manuscript will be put on hold. I knew this for while and have felt very much "less than". Now, I look at some older works and I thnk "damn, I really suck... what the fuck were any of these people ever thinking when they took a chance on me..."



Funny thing, I will always come across a piece of writing -- it could be bits of a screen Iwas writing, it could be some poetry; hell a scribble of a phrase on a piece of paper... and next thing you know, I rise again and know that despite what I opt think (and what I don't share here often..) I can write my ass off.



Oh, and now I'm on deck to possibly take that job working on a pilot. See? Always some loon somewhere that wants to give me that chance.



Secretly, I think I'm still shit. Sheesh, show me a writer without a complex and I will show you a fool.

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Xzavier
19:39 Dec 14 2008

If you think you suck then you're probably awesome. I hate my own work as well.



So, yeah you're awesomeness :)

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XxLadyDarkRaynexX
11:06 Dec 15 2008

Yes sis , my trusted sis...you are awesome.

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Isis101
00:10 Dec 16 2008

You'll keep trudging on, and you'll do just fine...

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Im not sure what the big deal is about who I choose to be with... It's rather simple, really. Three letters, and if you don't even have that in your name -- it isn't you.



The speculations fly -- let them. It seems to be the new past-time here. I don't remember when we had to resort to gssping in the prison yard... For a pack of chocolate, however, I will tell you whatever you need to know...



Ha, your name rhysmes with too much...

i am watching "My Sweet 16" Let's face is -- these brats make me sick. "Oh daddy, it doesn't cost enough, waahhhhhh"

Let me take you to my sweet sixteen. My parents went away to Atlantic City. Three friends came by and my mom made lasagna for us. Oh... and i had three 40 oz.s of beer that I puked up no sooner than chugged.



When they said these little brats off to Somalia or Afghanistan to help a less-fortunate families and these brats bitches sit and complain about flies or dirty water -- one girl was driven to tears because she didnt have a fluffy bed!!!



I am just disgusted. The kids are not our future. They are our demise.

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moonkissed
03:17 Dec 11 2008

hence the reason i do not watch that show...and i do not have television. but i still wouldn't watch it. self-centered, pampered brats.

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So. Can it become more apparent? I am only a friend if I am your slave. I am only your slave if I am a loyal friend. I'm sorry, have we not met before? I don't come in 31 flavors -- I am not Baskin Robbins.



Last I checked, the last few generations of my family are not slaves.



We're supposed to be tight? tight like family? Now? Because I have a convo with a member of the "clique" (hate that word) You speak to me like I was an accidental poo you stepped in? Well, here it is... Wipe me off your cowgirl boot and I will nothing but a stinky memory on your shoe.



I don't need this. I fight for you, I cry with you, I am there every step of the way...



A friend in need (which I was... and WHEN do I come crying for help?) is totally gang-banged and left by the wayside for the jackals to munch on the carcass.



My closes friend. My biggest disappointment. Fuck the bullshit.

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MysticMoon
22:33 Dec 09 2008

* hugs



my doors open if u need me babe

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XxLadyDarkRaynexX
22:55 Dec 09 2008

you are not my slave...you know i love youto death, I just explained to you whats going on with me. I am always here for you always I always have been I try an dtry to get you talk and you just kept saying no. You call your bro yes hes your bro

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XxLadyDarkRaynexX
03:09 Dec 11 2008

well i am still hurt beyond beleif that you would still thinks this after you said you took it down. I guess i really am an asshole... I am there for you always have i not stayed up and talked to you for hours ... listen to your tears and your anger defended you and belittled people that have hurt you. I told you talk and i would listen. You know i have so much shit going on. My grand mother is dying, my son is crying and all i want to do is be flying.



Sister i know you've been sad,

When i was mad

Sister i know you've been happy

When i knew you were faking a smile

Sister i know you've been glad

When i knew there was something wrong



I asked you if something was wrong

But you said no everything is fine

I asked you if you needed me

But you said no i have someone else

I asked you if you needed my help

But you said no i've got it



Sister i know i don't tell you everything

When everything went wrong

Sister you mean the world to me

When i really meant it

Sister you were there for me

When i needed you the most

Sister friends cant solve everything

When you were ready to ask me what was wrong



I know i'm not always there

But when i talk to you, you always tell me what i missed

I know i'm not happy that much anymore

But when im with you makes my day shine

I know i'm mad sometime's

But i'll never say i hate you

When i really truley do love you



Sister i really love you

Sister you know that's true

Sister you mean the world to me

Sister just to let you know that im always here for you

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CryingDutchess
22:00 Dec 11 2008

LDR and I are attached at the hip. i love her like no other -- how we are not blood-sisters is far and beyond me, for i have never had someone so close to my heart. This rant? was me being a booger. Yes. A green mucousy booger.

Rainey???? I love you with all my little girl heart!!

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POST COMMENT

Two slices... one more and I will be eternal *grin* that would suck....

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Xzavier
04:49 Dec 09 2008

Oh stop that! lol

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I'm begging for someone to just shoot me. I wil supply gun and ammo -- I just ask for someone with decent aim. Two to the dome and one in the chest.



4 days no sleep. 2 days bad nightmares. Total of 6 days of losing my mind.

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MysticMoon
14:44 Dec 04 2008

your wish is my command dear :)

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Beastt17
15:52 Dec 04 2008

I can supply the gun and my own ammunition. But here's the deal; you have to kill me first.

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atyourwindow
16:18 Dec 04 2008

no killing my dutchy, i need her liver for after the new years party hehe

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CryingDutchess
22:08 Dec 04 2008

LOL!!! Well, I will sign the donor card, shoot Beast, Mystic can shoot me and my bro will still get my liver!! A HA!! You guys rock! (fucking in-the-closet murderers! *grin*)

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Well, I got pulled aside and told that when the new supervisor comes aboard they may not be as flexible with me. I knew this was coming. Yesterday and today, I came in late. The issue is because I am just returning from my injury.



Sadly, I really do not care. The only reason I am even here is for the paycheck. That, and I learned that when I am home with nothing to do and no income of my own, I tend to become a crazy person. Well, crazier.



Honestly? I am trying to make it to my anniversay so that I get refreshed with vacation days and shit. Then, I can fuck off and get paid for it.



I sent my portfolio (my ads and such) to this small Korean ad shop. I advised that since I have been a little rusty (which is just bullshit -- I am over-flowing with ideas, but had to humble myself for this Old World thinking) my day rate would only be $400. I normally charge $550. So, even if I show up for fifteen minutes, I still get the full pay. Freelance rocks, when you can find it.



The trip to LA was put on hold by the studio. I am a little nervous that this script is not going to get the green light. If I am lucky, they will make an offer for the script to keep in their archives. That would, at least, yield six figures. I've been down this road before. *shrug* Unless I move out to LA and network, I am not going to be as effective. My connections in NYC are strong, but again, the execs I need to shmooze are in Cali.



Argh and harumph! My life is the epitome of pathetic.



I started a curse jar in our office (because I was bored and playing with markers instead of working) -- so far, we have over twenty dollars! This is a .25 per curse jar, too! LOL!! What's funnier is that I walk in the office in the morning and automatically put dollar bills in the jar. I'm going to buy these assholes some alcohol and lunch for the holidays with the proceeds.

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Xzavier
18:47 Dec 03 2008

You go to LA, you're taking me with you. No matter the cost! :)

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CryingDutchess
22:34 Dec 03 2008

You know it, X! That has always been the plan -- to burn it down together *grin*

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POST COMMENT

Last night, VR let me down. I just happened to be reading the box history (so I can jump in with my cute wit and such...) and what do I see? "blacks and mexicans are the ones on welfare here" *DOUBLE TAKE* What the fuck???



Now, there were admins on deck and no one said a thing. Irksome, but they can't read every sentence every second, I get that. Then, I see that the rumor mill is starting to sprout right before all of our eyes -- about my sister. Two lines crossed. Finally, both my sister and I are told to back off for a) requesting the rumors cease and to ask the source b) me advising that the box IQ has plummeted and that the racial comment maker should be ever so pleased with their affluence yada yada yada...



We were both asked to stop. However, the catalyst was never addressed. Line THREE -- crossed and it is on!!



My comment to the admin on deck when told to "stop CD" was "once you start doing your job and addressing the racial nonsense in here, I will." The box was cleared.



The let down is simply -- VR people, myself included, walk to a different beat and that is why we are here. We would get pissy if someone talked terrbly about VR, so why say such ignorant comments based on race?



I'd like to think I have a pretty rockin' sense of humor (for any topic) -- but I never bash race, religion, sexuality(unless it is in an acceptable forum, of course)... Funnily, as mixed as I am, I might be one of the only people truly able to get away with a slur for everyone or anything (except Asians, I don't have any in my blood -- go fig). Still, I don't people on blast in a public forum. Those of you who know me even remotely know that I can throw zingers when I want to (Im talking painfully shitty hush the room into silence zingers) -- however, until last night, I NEVER have taken a shot at any one.



The box is shut down in seconds if too much fellatio goes on, someone gets nipple tweaked or whatever sexual nonsense goes on -- so when did it become okay to gang up on people or say such stupidity better left in a private chat? What's the deal? Normally, I walk in and say "ToS" and keep it moving. Last night, ToS was so invaded, it may bring up rape charges!



With all that being said, I can't help but be disappointed in some of the chuckleheads roaming the halls. I also openly admit that I will be setting up booby-traps for these individuals and do not plan on showing mercy. I'm tired of living among the stupid in the real world. Why would I want to pay for a membership to be around stupid people? Im not a masochist! Im a sadist! Sheesh!



So, Hooded-whatever your name is, I strongly suggest rethinking before you type. Not all of us "blacks" or "mexicans" are on welfare -- some of us are Ivy League grads with more than enough money and clout to buy and sell you into slavery in a 5th World country. You dopey test-tube baby.

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Jho
20:06 Dec 02 2008

Dylan is a fag who can suck my juicy and veiny drifters penis.

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Sinora
19:25 Dec 03 2008

Go get em girl.

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XxLadyDarkRaynexX
07:47 Dec 05 2008

Thats right sis always at each othes backs watching to see who wants to start shit and since that night, I have really refrained from even going in there. Its ok for some but not ok for others.. hmm some favorism or what ? You know me , rarely do you you ever see me get as pissed off as I was that night. I defend my self and yet Im the A$$hole !?? hmm go figure ...That will not slide with me again, people need to watch waht they type and be damn straight they have their facts straight. This isn't fucking Jr HIgh....And all this coming from someone older then even me . people fail to realize yet again where loyalty remains.

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HoodedDemon
05:41 Dec 07 2008

Oh very well put but you see if it didnt mean you, why get so offended?

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Boss in-coming!!! I get up from the computer for a second and lo' and behold! El Bosso is in my office. Shittlesticks! I thought I was caught red-handed. Watching me attempt mis-direction from my monitor was very cool -- I am part-Jedi. Possibly. Hey! When you are as ethnically mixed as I am, the possibility does exist.



Now, where is my light-sabre? I want to threaten ebonic-woman.

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ThothLestat
13:56 Dec 01 2008

did the Bossissimo see your VR screen?

ha ha ha

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atyourwindow
16:51 Dec 01 2008

shizzle sizzle, dont make the bizzle have a hizzle lol

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Sinora
17:44 Dec 01 2008

Your boss radar out hon ?

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