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Letter to Ebonic-Woman:



Dear Ms. Ebonic:



I know you are a bitter human-being. I'm certain I would be too, if I were a single-mother of two and trying to interview for replacements for my "babies Daddy" via sex in dark alleys.



I even understand how you must feel so unfailry recognized in society, as you constantly remind the office that you graduated college. Granted, we lose what we don't use -- so, your blatant disregard for the English language was certainly inevitable.



Still, it is with heavy heart that I ask you to simply learn to mime. I simply cannot handle the tone of your voice nor the "unintended" inflection of unpleasant sarcasm within every guttural grunt of yours. Needless to say, I am not the only person on our team who feels this way. I am simply the only person on the team with a gun permit.



Furthermore, if you could refrain from sitting next to me and staying on the phone from open to close gossiping about everything from your personal life, the lives of co-workers, Michael Jackson, Wendy Williams, O.J., random TV shows and your myriad failed relationships -- I am certain, you will survive the end of day.



Finally, if you could somehow manage to breathe a bit less like you have an aqua-lung? That would be fantastic, as I almost threw up in my Raisin Bran this morning listening to you.



Sincerely,

Management

COMMENTS

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birra
15:29 Aug 10 2009

Classic. :)

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CryingDutchess
15:46 Aug 10 2009

I'm about to send away for a stun gun or cattle-prod so that I can implement extreme rehabilatative measures.

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LadyxDarkxRayne
19:32 Aug 10 2009

Oh yes a stun gun would be perfect I think it can have multiples uses though hehe

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Isis101
00:09 Aug 26 2009

Oh my God...I wonder if this is the same woman who was fired from my sis' company? LOL!

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I've learned that I could commit a homicide... without guilt. Ebonic woman... Your days are bloody numbered...