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Gah, i hate being sic. Ear infection, stuffy nose, nasty cough. I have a head cold ontop of bronchitis...had to go out to the er, was coughing up blood and my ear infection was so bad i couldnt walk. GAH! Went to the bar friday and saturday...im needed there so i went...didnt help anything....had to leave early for Juggalo night becuz of my ear...didnt get back til 7 am THIS MORNING after the wet and wild night...gah...damn. wasnt very smart but had a little bit of fun...time to go back to bed and try to sleep it off....night all!

Okay...so i know he is prolly going to read my journal on this since he is blocked on my facebook...



Go...fuck...your...self...



U had the nerve to hack into my facebook, read my things and then tell Woody what was in one of my conversations. Really? To see if i was talking shit about u...how many times have i had to tell u. You are my jack. u always will be...i still and will always love u more than anything...why would i EVER talk shit about u? i wouldnt...u fucked everything up. The friendship we have been trying so hard to have...everything. Im done...i tried to be ur friend...and u betray me ONCE AGAIN. Not only did u crush my heart...u got with someone else after a week..then u hack my shit...and try to use something in my inbox to start more shit??? WTF...really? AGAIN, HOPE IT WAS ALLLLL WORTH IT...fuck it. now u know who really fucked everything up when it comes down to u and me...not this girl....hell no!

Zeromancer - Send Me an Angel



Okay, Zeromancer is amazazing!!!

So i got onto myspace today...(what is myspace? LOL) and i was looking at my friends list and realized that Jaymes deleted me off his list. I cried...that is the most hurtful thing i have ever felt...i have my reasons to feel hurt...i just wish this hurt would stop. I cant change these feelings....



On a random note, I have bronchitis....did i spell that right? My chest feels like i have someone sitting on it and my throat hurts so bad...breathing is becoming a problem...ah! why does this have to be such a crappy weekend? well, other than the Goth and Grind party last night, that was the shiiiit. INFUSION was amazing

Remember when we First had the thought of living A perfect picture But I did all the giving Gave up my passions To try to make you happy The joke is over And I’ll do all the laughing I’m over me being under you I’m breaking free and I’m breaking through I’ve overcome all, I’m underneath I can finally stand I can finally breathe.



So it is official. He is with someone new, my ex's ex...who cheated on him 3 times...all i gots to say is. Have fun and I hope it was worth it. I hope losing a friendship was worth every second of it. When it fails and it will...then go fuck yourself.



I will always have feelings for Jaymes. I have very deep feelings, I wish we were still friends. We were until today. I can not make him do anything, I just wish he would use his fucking bigass brain of his...its been about...hmm 8 days since our engagement ended. Like i said, hope it was worth it.

You were my fire, so I burned... til' there was nothing left of me

I... I touched your face, I held you close... til' I could barely breathe

Why give me hope, then give me up... just to be the death of me

Save the rest of me...



Cuz I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away

I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate



Now... now and then, you come around, like there's something left for me

We were one... we were everything

I'm still here... but I'll just keep the rest for me



Cuz I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away

I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate



We never made it... you hesitated... I don't believe



That I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away

I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate

Cuz I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away

I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate - hesitate



You were my fire, so I burned... now there's nothing left of me...