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So this is a rant about generalities and percieved sexuality.



Typically I am all for sexual freedoms and expression. Until you try to take mine away or "try to convert me". I am not typical in that I have identified with gay/lesbian people since I was very young. Some of my absolute favourite people are gay. But when you think because I identify with you that I should be....



Well no. And I say that completely honestly. I get that relationships are not all about sex. However all relationships have a breaking point, or as many will call it "deal breaker". Having a relationship with someone I do not want to have sex with, is one. End of story.



Add to it that I have thought long and hard with my own sexuality, and when the honest thought of going down on a woman grosses me out? And I mean physically repulses me, I think I'm very safe in saying: I'm straight.



Please do not make it more uncomfortable by continuously hitting on me. It will get you as far as the guys that do the same. Please respect my view with the same respect you wish for your own. And let it rest, I'm truly just not that in to you...

I don't wanna work.



I don't wanna finish cleaning and painting old place.



I don't wanna deal with this cold.



But I want to pay my bills.



I want to be done with previous residence, to focus on the new one.



And I know full well I got sick by doing too much, and that I too require recovery time.



So small bits today. Work, last load of items, clean carpets and then rest.

I don't do "sick" well. So I finished painting my sewing room and watched movies all day. Thank god for puppies. They are awesome leg Warmers when I go through a chill.

It's a Ratty's birthday :-D



*side note* my phone likes to auto correct Ratty with titty... Is it a subliminal message?!?

Stupid is as stupid does.



Lord sometimes y'all make my head hurt with it.

So, I'm scared.



So much has been happening and I am beyond overwhelmed.



I may be a bit difficult to get a hold of for a few. Hoping that changes.

I really hate it when people look over my shoulder at work to read what I'm doing on the computer.



I find it incredibly rude.

TWO MORE LOADS... and I will be fully in my new place. Now I still have to clean and repair walls... but TWO MORE LOADS YAY!!!



Still there is more going on than I can completely process.



Wendy's step-father was admitted to the hospital last night, put on hospice and then they were told they only had hours. We knew he was sick but with something else. That he had cancer on top was not something anyone knew. When I talked to her last night they had brought him to, so that her mom could say goodbye. Keep in mind Wendy's Mom went on hospice last year (about three months after Garry died).



There is more, so much more that I simply don't think I'm processing.



I'm not overwhelmed. I'm simply focusing on my move. Right now it seems to be the only thing I have complete control of.



Perhaps when I stop and think the sense of overwhelmed will get stronger, but not for now- I can't let it.

One year ago, a "sister" was taken from me.



While her touch on my life was far more gentle, it does not make its loss any less profound.



Words cannot express how you are missed.



However, today I will do something frivolous and silly which you would recommend, plus a bottle of wine will be consumed.



I remember, and because I do, I will dance like a fool. I do not hope you rest, I hope you fly and are listening in to all those things you were curious about and that you are bliss.

So some of the people on our committee want to trade mark our slogan.



I wish it were a copyright and not a trademark.



Former is $50, and the latter is minimum $250 if we find someone to do it for free. *sigh*



It kills me how much administration we have to pay as a charity. Still I do understand, I'm just greedy in the aspect that I want EVERY CENT to go to the patients.

I just was curious about how many entries I've had...



Over the past 7 years, I've done on average 360 entries per year.



o.o



That is a LOT of writing. YAY! Go me :P lol.

I'm about 75% moved right now. I won't have internet hooked up until after this weekend. But SOON!



I LOVE the new place. There is more than enough space for me, and even better; I have a place to set up my sewing so that I can do projects.



The painting is on hold until I can buy more paint as Rat's journal got me thinking about a light orange spice colour (similar but not the same as this candy colour) for the main walls of the living room/dining and entry of the duplex. It will "brighten" in the winter and be light in the summer. I've accented the wall the TV is on with an olive green. I think it will be a nice contrast to the reds, blues and browns of my other items.



There still seems to be some "issues" although thankfully I'm not seeing or hearing (I heard a bit this weekend as my house guest visited the person who is upset, and told him he didn't want to hear it as he participated in the poker run) with our fundraiser. Strangely it coincides with team development in rowing and what I'm teaching my rowers how to do.



Simply put, he wanted something but did not articulate it; and more importantly chose not to come to any of the committee meetings he was invited to. He wanted it "his way" or no way; and that is not how things were set up.



Putting a want or a need out there, is YOUR responsibility. Not being able to have a discourse or conversation where you voice these items is an individual issue. When you remove yourself from a "team" that specifically came together for a purpose, then do not be surprised when I stand with the team and not the individual.



It is no different than my siding with my rowers as they develop. If there is an issue and you can articulate it, I will listen. Does this mean I will "bow" to your want or desire? No. I will ALWAYS take the team first. Why? Because I firmly have seen how team work develops us beyond individuals.



In some instances (military, fire fighters, police) it is quite literally a LIFE OR DEATH issue. Even in rowing, when I have been in some instances of extreme weather, storms and freak accidents it has gone from "we work better as team" to our life depends on it.



So don't be surprised if I am one to stick to the team. It is a commitment I don't take lightly, although at times I do not express how seriously I view it.

Soon I will give myself a treatment and sleep on my table :)

On my phone for next few days, move going well.



Awesome time in Buffalo (always is)



I'm ready to simply throttle whomever "fixed" my coach boat. It no worky work in a manner that is useable. And yes, I said it that way so I don't just light it on fire.

I don't wanna go home *cries*



At the same point, I really want to go home and get going on the new place *sigh*...



Procrastination is the answer! At least for a few more...

So I ended up showering at my new place- took an hour just to clean floor of the tub. Will be hitting the walls soon (mon?). I cleaned the fridge! Yay but havent had the "gumption" to hit the freezer. I also did the far left corner top shelves and countertop. Still a LONG was until this place is fully functionalble.



Monday night I think I'll clean more, kitchen, bath, laundry room. Tues I'll conquer the kitchen and the walls so that I can paint (reverse order steaming after paint).

No cleaning for me today. Too exhausted. I am going to take some more items over and will have to clean the kitchen. But I'll do a one more round before I go to Buffalo. Then nothing till Monday pm and Tues, all day. Hopefully by then I have more "get up and go".



Now for a shower at my old place as the new one is GROSS and I'm not showering in it until I clean it!

Procrastination: Thou art my best friend and enemy.

So, the bedrooms are a little smaller than I thought. HOWEVER, with three of them... right now all of my "big" stuff is over at the new place. And it still looks empty. o.o



My "old place", is messy and tons of boxes, but it too looks more towards empty. I can't wait to get everything over there! That said, today is just the rest of the "big things" and things I can't live without (coffee, clothes, toothbrush!) so that I can clean, paint, hang shelves.



Saying that I feel bad for HTM. these renters left a MESS. As in GROSS, food everywhere etc. Plus they smoked. :(



The freshly painted walls, have 3" of YELLOW from around where the pictures where hung. The carpets are RUINED from about 20-30 cigarette burns (whew- because my cat is a bitch, and typically ruins one area- this way I have more argument next year once puppies are trained for him to replace with Laminate as he did upstairs.



I've also asked if he's ok with the idea as I find fixtures onsale that I buy and he installs. In Seattle I found two old fashioned iron carriage lights for my house. Home Depot had them clearance. $10. They were BEAUTIFUL, but not what everyone else wanted, as they were big, but perfect for my house. I love the idea that I'm at a place with a landlord who is doing this to make money and a future for himself, so views it as an investment; more importantly, that he is a friend so that anything I do makes his life better.



Plus I LOVE fixing up places. I love choosing colours and paint, and tile etc. Living somewhere where it needs it, and where after me he can make a killing- bonus. Getting to play around prior to my next move (which if all goes how I hope) will be when I buy, is priceless :)