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CrackInTheWall's Journal

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2 entries this month
 

Sloopy Farkleface at your service

19:50 Sep 09 2005
Times Read: 909


A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.



B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and forward it to friends and family and co-workers. Don't forget to forward it back to the person who sent it to you, so they know you participated. And don't go all adult - a senior manager is now known far and wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer.



The following in excerpted from a children's book, "Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...



1. Use the third letter of your

first name to determine your new first name:



a = snickle

b = doombah

c = goober

d = cheesey

e = crusty

f = greasy

g = dumbo

h = farcus

i = dorky

j = doofus

k = funky

l = boobie

m = sleezy

n = sloopy

o = fluffy

p = stinky

q = slimy

r = dorfus

s = snooty

t = tootsie

u = dipsy

v = sneezy

w = liver

x = skippy

y = dinky

z = zippy



2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:



a = dippin

b = feather

c = batty

d = burger

e = chicken

f = barffy

g = lizard

h = waffle

i = farkle

j = monkey

k = flippin

l = fricken

m = bubble

n = rhino

o = potty

p = hamster

q = buckle

r = gizzard

s = lickin

t = snickle

u ! = chuckle

v = pickle

w = hubble

x = dingle

y = gorilla

z = girdle



3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new

last name:



a = butt

b = boob

c = face

d = nose

e = hump

f = breath

g = pants

h = shorts

i = lips

j = honker

k = head

l = tush

m = chunks

n = dunkin

o = brains

p = biscuits

q = toes

r = doodle

s = fanny

t = sniffer

u = sprinkles

v = frack

w = squirt

x = humperdinck

y = hiney

z = juice



Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Fluffy Chucklefanny.


COMMENTS

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Dear God that took forever

06:30 Sep 07 2005
Times Read: 911


About you - 500

Created by tabiekat and taken 7089 times on Bzoink

[Section 1 - Basics]
Name:Ann
Age:34
Gender:Female
Height:5'11"
Weight:More than I look (muscle weights more)
Ring size:7.5
Pants size:Depends- I buy for length
Shirt size:Depends it has to go around my chest w/o poping buttons
Shoe size:11.5 AAA
Piercings:6
Tatoos:1
Hair color:Blondish/reddish/mousy
Hair length:Shoulder and growing
Eye color:blue/grey/green
Zodiac sign:Libra
Chinese zodiac sign:Boar, not a pig thank you.
Body type/size:sigh- curvy so I always looked like a "fat" athlete
Birthday:Sept 28
Birthplace:Seattle
Place now:11 blocks from where I grew up
Race/ethnicity:Celtic
School and grade/year:DONE yea never to go back... well maybe...
Natural hair color:as above.
GPA:Like it matters in real life...
Blood type:O
Hobbies:what ever I'm in the mood for: rowing, reading, movies, various activities
I.Q.:sigh....
Do you excercise:Almost daily
Are you healthy:Yep
Fun?:When I'm not over worked/stressed
Serious?:Who me??
Sarcastic?:No never!
Funny?:o.O
Cute?:Unfortunately
Pretty?:DOES
Good-looking?:THIS
Beautiful?:MATTER? if so- shoo fly...
Optimistic?:Yep
Smart?:Kind of there are many far more so...
Oppinionated?:Heck yea
Outgoing?:Does being an extroverted introvert count?
Shy?:Above.
Unique?:yes/no/maybe
Sweet?:um does valkarie warbitch from hell mean anything?
Hyper?:YES
Talkative?:YES
Creative?:Kind of
Imaginative?:Yep
Gloomy?:Can be
Happy?:Yep
Depressed?:Try not to be.
Silly?:WHeeeee
Loud?:DUH
Quiet?:NOPE
Dependant?:HELL NO- whatever!
Loyal?:Yes
Truthful?:You can't handle the truth.
Clever?:No
Confident?:Yep
Annoying?:YEp
Artistic?:Somewhat
Musical?:Used to be when I took the time
Poetic?:?
Charming?:??
Wise?:???
Special?:Um to my doggies
Magickal?:That's private
Sensitive?:Yep
Lustful?:Being Single YEP
Sexy?:No too practical for that
Horny?:PLEASE... there's no need with batteries
Loving?:Yep
Lazy?:Sometimes
Stylish?:If I have time
Normal?:No
Psycho?:No
Goofy?:Sometimes
Brave?:If I have to be.
[Section 2 - This or that about you]
Righty/lefty/either:Both
Glasses/contacts/none:Glasses, no yucky things on eyeballs!!
Punk/goth/prep/thug/??:None of the above... athlete/geek??
Innie/outie:In all the way
Tan/pale/average/??:PALE and I'm tan....
Freckles/none:Covered in Freckles
[Section 3 - Family]
Mom's name:No sharing...
Dad's name:Bastard left- wait, I'm the bastard
Siblings/their names/their ages:One bro I know, one I don't
Dead family members:Too many
Do you live with your siblings?:Nope, I do love them and want them to live...
Parents married/divorced/neither?:All of the above
Parents together/separated/dating/none?:All of the above
Do you have any stepparents?:Not any more
Ex-stepparents?:Yep
Do you have any children of your own?:Not yet
If so, what are their names and ages? If not, do you want any?:Yep if I meet someone, otherwise I'll adopt
[Section 4 - Favorites]
Color:red/green
Food:Sushi
Drink:rusty nail
Candy:peanut butter with chocolate
Flavor:mint
Movie:This changes: Currentlly Batman Begins... hmm eye candy...
Band:Nope
Show:Nope
Game:Nope
Element:Wood
Music type:All
Actor:Alan Rickman/Vin Diesel
Actress:Emma Thompson/Kate Winslett
Month:When Vacation is...
Season:SPRING!!!
Holiday:Halloween
Shampoo/conditioner:Loma
Song:Rotates
Number:7
Phrase:Do you know what I mean?
Word:All
Magazine:-
Restaurant:Kitaro
Sport:Rowing
Animal:Cats
Language:-
Girl's name:-
Boy's name:-
Flower:Daisy
Country:Haven't been to many
Weather:Nice but not too warm
Person:All of my friends... and family
[Section 5 - Sex]
Sexual orientation:Straight... hmmm boys.... eye candy.....
Are you a virgin?:Not telling
Do you like to have sex?:You don't get to know...
Do you like to have oral sex?:La La La I don't hear you...
Do you like to have anal sex?:Above...
Do you like to give more or get more?:Still here???
Do you usually give more or get more?:Sigh are you done yet???
Does size matter?:What?
Do you like to kiss?:Yep
French kiss?:Yep
Make out?:Yep
Favorite position:LA la la la te da...
Are you more dominant?:zzzzz
Or more submissive?:zzzzzzzz
Are you more sadistic?:zzzzzzzzz
Or more masochistic?:zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Do you like to use toys?:Whee toys!! I LOVE toys!!!
Cuffs?:lined?
Bondage?:Silk?
Wax?:Soy?
Clothes pins/ clamps?:OUCH!
Chains?:Gold?
Gags?:Silk?
Collars?:Studs?
Leashes?:Puppies
Whips?:Leather?
Paddles?:Ping pong?
Other things?:
Do you look at porn?:la la la
Do you masturbate?:te da...
[Section 6 - Friends]
Would you consider yourself a good friend?sometimes
Would you rather have a lot of friends or a few good friends?:few
Who is your best friend?:Claudie
Do you have a lot of friends?:Nope
How many good friends would you say you had?:Under 10
Are you a good friend?:Sometimes
Has anyone ever told you that you were a good friend?:yes
Has anyone ever told you that you were a bad friend?:yes
Do you tend to be more outgoing or shy?:depends
Do you consider yourself to be better than your friends?:nope
Do you consider you and your friends to be better than everyone else?:nope
Do you think your friends ever get tired of you?:yep
Do you ever get tired of your friends?:ype
Do you like to make new friends?:sometimes
Do you talk a lot?:yep
Are you nervous when you talk to people?:yep
Do you ever say your someone's friend just to make them feel good?:nope
Do you ever lie about who your friends are?:nope
Do you ever play people as friends to make yourself look good?:nope
[Section 7 - Love]
Do you believe in love?:Yep
Do you believe in love at first sight?:Yep
What is love?:for us to discover
Have you ever been love?:Yep
Are you now?:nope
Have you ever told someone you loved them?:nope
If so, were you telling the truth? If not, would you?going back yes.
Are you married/divorced/neither?:none of the above
Are you with someone/single/dating/none?:none of the above
Do you believe in soulmates?:yep
Could you ever fall in love with someone of a different religion?:yep
Different ethnicity?:yep
Same gender?:nope- unless you mean friendship love
Different political views?:yep
Do you love certain material possesions?:nope
Certain hobbies?:yep
Your friends?:yep
Your family?:yep
Yourself?:yep
Do you have a crush?:yep... yummy eye candy....
Do you date people just because of how they look?:nope
Do you care how people look?:somewhat
Would you date someone who was sweet even if they weren't good-looking?:yep
Would you date someone hott even if they were assholes?:Hey that's my ex!
Would you date someone who was nice to you but asshole to others?:And there's another....
Would you date someone for their money?nope
Would you use someone?:nope
Have you used someone?:nope
Have you dated someone just for their money?:nope
Have you ever dated someone who was sweet but weren't good-looyep
Have you ever dated someone who was hott even though they were an asshole?:yep
Have you ever dated someone who was nice to you but an asshole to others?:yep
Would you ever date someone because you were desperate?:nope
Have you?:???
Would you ever date someone for sexual reasons?:it has happened
Have you?:
Would you ever have an internet bf/gf?:not without meeting face to face
Have you?:nope
[Section 8 - Politics and such]
Are you a democrat?:conserative liberal...
Or a republican?:nope
Or independent?:nope
How do you feel about abortion?:none of my biz
Gay marriage?:none of my biz
Smoking?:just don't make me breathe it
Marijuana?:above
Drugs?:Nope
Illegal immigrants?:Whatever
Premarital sex?:Sigh back to this again?
Porn?:-
Alcohol?:-
Racism?:Get over yourself!
Whores/prostitution?:None of my biz
Cloning?:playing with fire
Suicide?:Hell no
Death penalty?:-
Religion in government?:-
Our president?:-
Downloading music?:Whoo-hoo!
Burning CDs?:-
Welfare?:-
Animal testing?:poor babies...
Gambling?:-
School uniforms?:-
One nation, under God?:-
[Section 9 - Religious beliefs]
What religion do you practice?:spirituality
Have you ever practiced a religion besides the one you practice now?:-
Has someone ever tried to force you into believing certain things?:nope
Has someone ever tried to force you to practice another religion?:yep
Do you go/have you been to religious gatherings?:yep
What religion are your parents?:confused
Do your parents care if you practice the same religion as them or not?:nope
Do they know what religion you practice?:yep
Are you open about your beliefs?:yep
Have you ever lied about your religious beliefs to look cool?:nope
Do you believe a superior being exists/ existed and created life?:yep
One God?:yep
Many Gods?:-
Does God(s) have a gender?:nope
Male/female/neither?:none of the above
No God?:nope
Heaven/Hell?:yep
Jesus?:yep
Angels/demons?:yep
Spirits?:yep
Ghosts?:yep
Reincarnation?:yep
The trinity?:yep
Miracles?:yep
Aliens?:wish they'd take me
Magick?:yep
Witchcraft?:yep
Tarot?:yep
Psychics?:yep
Vampires/werewolves/other?:yep
Prayer?:yep
Rituals?:yep
Love?:yep
Fate?:yep
Predestination?:yep
Horoscopes?:yep
Astrology?:yep
Superstitions?:nope
Luck?:yep
Telepathy?:yep
Energies?:yep
Familiars?:yep
Sacred animals?:yep
Animals are superior, inferior or equal to humans?:depends on the animal
Initiation ceremonies?:yep
Night and day differ for a religious reason?:nope
Ethnicity making someone superior/inferior to others?:nope
Does your religion forbid anything?:yep
Do you dress certain ways to express your religion?:nope
Do other people assume what religion you practice by what you wear?:nope
Are humans/animals naturally good/evil/neutral/depends?:nope
Do you meditate/fast/chant/other?:yep
Do you believe/agree with everything about your religion?:nope
Do you believe you're right and no one elses religion matters?:nope
Do you ever doubt your religion or religious beliefs?:yep
Do you believe in yourself?:yep
Are you open to other religions?:yep
Do you feel superior to people who don't believe the same things as you?:nope
Do you think everyone should practice your religion?:yep
Do you even believe in anything?:yep
Are you interested in learning about other religions?:yep
[Section 10 - Animals]
Do you have any pets?:Yes!
If so what are they? If not, do you want any?:2 dogs, 2 cats
What kind of pet would you like to have?:Lions, tigers and bears- oh my!
What is your favorite color on animals?:gold
Do you believe people should keep pets?:yep
Should all animals be free?:if they choose to be
Do you enjoy animals?:yep
Do you like taking care of animals?:yep
Do you animals keep you company?:yep
Do you kill animals?:NO
Do you hunt?:no
Do you hate animals?:no
Do you think animals have feelings?:yep
Do you like small/big/all/no animals?:yep
Do you think animals are treated poorly?:some
Do you wish you could change the way people act towards animals?:some
[Section 11 - This or that]
Big/small:Big
Cat/dog:Both
Black/white:white
Coffee/tea:coffee
Pepsi/coke:coke
Soda/other:soda
Wine/beer:guiness
Pulp/none:none
Scary/comedy:comedy
Books/magazines:books
Noise/silence:silence
Winter/summer:summer
Autumn/spring:SPRING
Summer/spring:SPRING
Winter/autumn:Winter
Night/day:Night
Hugs/kisses:Kisses
Life/death:Life
TV/movie:Movie
TV/book:Book
Fruits/vegetables:Both
Meat/vegetables:Veggies
Cigarettes/alcohol:Alcohol
Cold/hot:hot
Normal/different:different
Male/female:Male
School/none:School
Red/blue:red
Smart/fun:smart
Love/hate:love
Salt/sugar:sugar
Chocolate/vanilla:chocolate
Evil/good:good
Clean/dirty:clean
Angel/demon:angel
Sunrise/sunset:sunrise
Punk/goth:punk
Punk/prep:punk
Goth/prep:goth
Truth/lies:truth
Citrus/tasteless:citrus
Cake/cookies:cookies
Sun/moon:sun
Rain/snow:snow
Piercings/none:piercings
Short/long hair:long
Brand name/couldn't care less:whatever
Pool/ocean:ocean
Pen/pencil:pen
Sports/none:sports
Wet/dry:dry
Bath/shower:bath
Fireworks/glowsticks:fireworks
Lick/bite:bite
Naked/clothed:naked
Internet/phone:phone
[Section 12 - Education]
Do you go to school?:Finished
Have you gone to school?:yep
What's your level of education?:Master's degree
Do you like school?:yep
Learning?:yep
Have you ever been homeschooled?:nope
Would you rather be homeschooled?:nope
Would you rather go to public or private school?:private
Have you ever skipped school?:YES
Faked sickness to get out of school?:yep
Been suspended?:yep
Expelled?:nope
In detention?:yep
What's your favorite subject?:English
Least favorite?:History
Your schedule, block/periods/neither?:block
What are your grades generally like?:good
Do you have many classes with your friends?:not any more
What classes do you want to take?:physics
[Section 13 - What makes you]
Happy?:puppies and kitties
Sad?:Loss
Laugh?:friends
Dance?:music
Sing?:happiness
Horny?:eye candy
Scared?:movies/books
Look good?:wanting to
Feel good?:wanting to
Feel bad?:doing something not right
Cry?:pain
Jealous?:-
Envious?:want
Scream?:anger
Angry?:stupid
Smile?:silly
Blush?:directness
Sleepy?:after 10 pm
Excited?:Happy
Nervous?:lots
Hungry?:not eating
Thirsty?:not drinking
Feel lonely?:-
Sick?:over work
Mean?:lack of sleep/overwork
Want a hug?:always
Want a kiss?:-
Bored?:lack of work
Crazy?:over work
Feel strong?:exercise
Feel important?:-
Quit?:?
[Section 14 - 1-10 Rating, How important is/are]
Friends:10
Family:10
Music:6
Love:7
Happiness:8
People:9
Silence:7
Animals:10
Education:9
Religion:9
Life:10
Medication:0
Food:8
Sleep:9
Health:9
Wealth:7
Nature:9
Shopping:5
Fun:8
Comfort:7
Water:9
Sex:5
Clothes:4
Alcohol:2
Cigarettes:0
Computer:4
Phone:4
[Section 15 - Have you ever]
Went skinny dipping?:nope
Done drugs?:yep
Drank alcohol?:yep
Played strip poker?:yep
Climbed a tree?:yep
Fallen from a tree?:yep
Bungee jumped?:nope
Been to Disneyland/world?:Yep
Been stung by a bee?:yep
Pierced yourself?:yep
Sky dived?:nope
Rolled your tongue?:yep
Made a clover with it?nope
Skiied?:nope
Run into a wall?:yep
Been on an airplane?:yep
On a train?:yep
Fainted?:nope
Thrown up on purpose?:yep
Eaten an insect?:yep
For no reason?:nope
[Section 16 - Misc.]
What color are your socks today?:none
Is that your monkey over there sneezing?:no
Do you own a spotted umbrella?:no
Do you like sporks?:no
What about chopsticks?:Yes
How many fingers do you have?:10
Do you have any stiches?:yes
If you could be anything/anyone you wanted, what/who would you be?:changes with mood
Is your mushroom broken?:nope
Are you a fairy?:wish to be
Do you abuse/starve your sims?:sometimes
How many candles do you own?:I make them... hundreds
Do you wear scarves?:yes
Would you care if I licked your face like a cow?:yes
Are the bunnies pink?:yep
What about the hampsters, what color are they? Green?:nope
What do you think about make-up?:fun
Random word that starts with Q:question
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?:Nova Scotia
Do you like to be naked?:yep
All your base _________:s covered
My life has never been a bed a roses:nope
Munchy munchy have a taco for:nope
Yes that comes in:nope
I got:cookies
Baby, life is like a ride on a:zzzzzzzzzzz
What is life?:zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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