A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and forward it to friends and family and co-workers. Don't forget to forward it back to the person who sent it to you, so they know you participated. And don't go all adult - a senior manager is now known far and wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer.
The following in excerpted from a children's book, "Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...
1. Use the third letter of your
first name to determine your new first name:
a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy
2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u ! = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle
3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new
last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice
Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Fluffy Chucklefanny.
[Section 1 - Basics] | |
Name: | Ann |
Age: | 34 |
Gender: | Female |
Height: | 5'11" |
Weight: | More than I look (muscle weights more) |
Ring size: | 7.5 |
Pants size: | Depends- I buy for length |
Shirt size: | Depends it has to go around my chest w/o poping buttons |
Shoe size: | 11.5 AAA |
Piercings: | 6 |
Tatoos: | 1 |
Hair color: | Blondish/reddish/mousy |
Hair length: | Shoulder and growing |
Eye color: | blue/grey/green |
Zodiac sign: | Libra |
Chinese zodiac sign: | Boar, not a pig thank you. |
Body type/size: | sigh- curvy so I always looked like a "fat" athlete |
Birthday: | Sept 28 |
Birthplace: | Seattle |
Place now: | 11 blocks from where I grew up |
Race/ethnicity: | Celtic |
School and grade/year: | DONE yea never to go back... well maybe... |
Natural hair color: | as above. |
GPA: | Like it matters in real life... |
Blood type: | O |
Hobbies: | what ever I'm in the mood for: rowing, reading, movies, various activities |
I.Q.: | sigh.... |
Do you excercise: | Almost daily |
Are you healthy: | Yep |
Fun?: | When I'm not over worked/stressed |
Serious?: | Who me?? |
Sarcastic?: | No never! |
Funny?: | o.O |
Cute?: | Unfortunately |
Pretty?: | DOES |
Good-looking?: | THIS |
Beautiful?: | MATTER? if so- shoo fly... |
Optimistic?: | Yep |
Smart?: | Kind of there are many far more so... |
Oppinionated?: | Heck yea |
Outgoing?: | Does being an extroverted introvert count? |
Shy?: | Above. |
Unique?: | yes/no/maybe |
Sweet?: | um does valkarie warbitch from hell mean anything? |
Hyper?: | YES |
Talkative?: | YES |
Creative?: | Kind of |
Imaginative?: | Yep |
Gloomy?: | Can be |
Happy?: | Yep |
Depressed?: | Try not to be. |
Silly?: | WHeeeee |
Loud?: | DUH |
Quiet?: | NOPE |
Dependant?: | HELL NO- whatever! |
Loyal?: | Yes |
Truthful?: | You can't handle the truth. |
Clever?: | No |
Confident?: | Yep |
Annoying?: | YEp |
Artistic?: | Somewhat |
Musical?: | Used to be when I took the time |
Poetic?: | ? |
Charming?: | ?? |
Wise?: | ??? |
Special?: | Um to my doggies |
Magickal?: | That's private |
Sensitive?: | Yep |
Lustful?: | Being Single YEP |
Sexy?: | No too practical for that |
Horny?: | PLEASE... there's no need with batteries |
Loving?: | Yep |
Lazy?: | Sometimes |
Stylish?: | If I have time |
Normal?: | No |
Psycho?: | No |
Goofy?: | Sometimes |
Brave?: | If I have to be. |
[Section 2 - This or that about you] | |
Righty/lefty/either: | Both |
Glasses/contacts/none: | Glasses, no yucky things on eyeballs!! |
Punk/goth/prep/thug/??: | None of the above... athlete/geek?? |
Innie/outie: | In all the way |
Tan/pale/average/??: | PALE and I'm tan.... |
Freckles/none: | Covered in Freckles |
[Section 3 - Family] | |
Mom's name: | No sharing... |
Dad's name: | Bastard left- wait, I'm the bastard |
Siblings/their names/their ages: | One bro I know, one I don't |
Dead family members: | Too many |
Do you live with your siblings?: | Nope, I do love them and want them to live... |
Parents married/divorced/neither?: | All of the above |
Parents together/separated/dating/none?: | All of the above |
Do you have any stepparents?: | Not any more |
Ex-stepparents?: | Yep |
Do you have any children of your own?: | Not yet |
If so, what are their names and ages? If not, do you want any?: | Yep if I meet someone, otherwise I'll adopt |
[Section 4 - Favorites] | |
Color: | red/green |
Food: | Sushi |
Drink: | rusty nail |
Candy: | peanut butter with chocolate |
Flavor: | mint |
Movie: | This changes: Currentlly Batman Begins... hmm eye candy... |
Band: | Nope |
Show: | Nope |
Game: | Nope |
Element: | Wood |
Music type: | All |
Actor: | Alan Rickman/Vin Diesel |
Actress: | Emma Thompson/Kate Winslett |
Month: | When Vacation is... |
Season: | SPRING!!! |
Holiday: | Halloween |
Shampoo/conditioner: | Loma |
Song: | Rotates |
Number: | 7 |
Phrase: | Do you know what I mean? |
Word: | All |
Magazine: | - |
Restaurant: | Kitaro |
Sport: | Rowing |
Animal: | Cats |
Language: | - |
Girl's name: | - |
Boy's name: | - |
Flower: | Daisy |
Country: | Haven't been to many |
Weather: | Nice but not too warm |
Person: | All of my friends... and family |
[Section 5 - Sex] | |
Sexual orientation: | Straight... hmmm boys.... eye candy..... |
Are you a virgin?: | Not telling |
Do you like to have sex?: | You don't get to know... |
Do you like to have oral sex?: | La La La I don't hear you... |
Do you like to have anal sex?: | Above... |
Do you like to give more or get more?: | Still here??? |
Do you usually give more or get more?: | Sigh are you done yet??? |
Does size matter?: | What? |
Do you like to kiss?: | Yep |
French kiss?: | Yep |
Make out?: | Yep |
Favorite position: | LA la la la te da... |
Are you more dominant?: | zzzzz |
Or more submissive?: | zzzzzzzz |
Are you more sadistic?: | zzzzzzzzz |
Or more masochistic?: | zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz |
Do you like to use toys?: | Whee toys!! I LOVE toys!!! |
Cuffs?: | lined? |
Bondage?: | Silk? |
Wax?: | Soy? |
Clothes pins/ clamps?: | OUCH! |
Chains?: | Gold? |
Gags?: | Silk? |
Collars?: | Studs? |
Leashes?: | Puppies |
Whips?: | Leather? |
Paddles?: | Ping pong? |
Other things?: | |
Do you look at porn?: | la la la |
Do you masturbate?: | te da... |
[Section 6 - Friends] | |
Would you consider yourself a good friend? | sometimes |
Would you rather have a lot of friends or a few good friends?: | few |
Who is your best friend?: | Claudie |
Do you have a lot of friends?: | Nope |
How many good friends would you say you had?: | Under 10 |
Are you a good friend?: | Sometimes |
Has anyone ever told you that you were a good friend?: | yes |
Has anyone ever told you that you were a bad friend?: | yes |
Do you tend to be more outgoing or shy?: | depends |
Do you consider yourself to be better than your friends?: | nope |
Do you consider you and your friends to be better than everyone else?: | nope |
Do you think your friends ever get tired of you?: | yep |
Do you ever get tired of your friends?: | ype |
Do you like to make new friends?: | sometimes |
Do you talk a lot?: | yep |
Are you nervous when you talk to people?: | yep |
Do you ever say your someone's friend just to make them feel good?: | nope |
Do you ever lie about who your friends are?: | nope |
Do you ever play people as friends to make yourself look good?: | nope |
[Section 7 - Love] | |
Do you believe in love?: | Yep |
Do you believe in love at first sight?: | Yep |
What is love?: | for us to discover |
Have you ever been love?: | Yep |
Are you now?: | nope |
Have you ever told someone you loved them?: | nope |
If so, were you telling the truth? If not, would you? | going back yes. |
Are you married/divorced/neither?: | none of the above |
Are you with someone/single/dating/none?: | none of the above |
Do you believe in soulmates?: | yep |
Could you ever fall in love with someone of a different religion?: | yep |
Different ethnicity?: | yep |
Same gender?: | nope- unless you mean friendship love |
Different political views?: | yep |
Do you love certain material possesions?: | nope |
Certain hobbies?: | yep |
Your friends?: | yep |
Your family?: | yep |
Yourself?: | yep |
Do you have a crush?: | yep... yummy eye candy.... |
Do you date people just because of how they look?: | nope |
Do you care how people look?: | somewhat |
Would you date someone who was sweet even if they weren't good-looking?: | yep |
Would you date someone hott even if they were assholes?: | Hey that's my ex! |
Would you date someone who was nice to you but asshole to others?: | And there's another.... |
Would you date someone for their money? | nope |
Would you use someone?: | nope |
Have you used someone?: | nope |
Have you dated someone just for their money?: | nope |
Have you ever dated someone who was sweet but weren't good-loo | yep |
Have you ever dated someone who was hott even though they were an asshole?: | yep |
Have you ever dated someone who was nice to you but an asshole to others?: | yep |
Would you ever date someone because you were desperate?: | nope |
Have you?: | ??? |
Would you ever date someone for sexual reasons?: | it has happened |
Have you?: | |
Would you ever have an internet bf/gf?: | not without meeting face to face |
Have you?: | nope |
[Section 8 - Politics and such] | |
Are you a democrat?: | conserative liberal... |
Or a republican?: | nope |
Or independent?: | nope |
How do you feel about abortion?: | none of my biz |
Gay marriage?: | none of my biz |
Smoking?: | just don't make me breathe it |
Marijuana?: | above |
Drugs?: | Nope |
Illegal immigrants?: | Whatever |
Premarital sex?: | Sigh back to this again? |
Porn?: | - |
Alcohol?: | - |
Racism?: | Get over yourself! |
Whores/prostitution?: | None of my biz |
Cloning?: | playing with fire |
Suicide?: | Hell no |
Death penalty?: | - |
Religion in government?: | - |
Our president?: | - |
Downloading music?: | Whoo-hoo! |
Burning CDs?: | - |
Welfare?: | - |
Animal testing?: | poor babies... |
Gambling?: | - |
School uniforms?: | - |
One nation, under God?: | - |
[Section 9 - Religious beliefs] | |
What religion do you practice?: | spirituality |
Have you ever practiced a religion besides the one you practice now?: | - |
Has someone ever tried to force you into believing certain things?: | nope |
Has someone ever tried to force you to practice another religion?: | yep |
Do you go/have you been to religious gatherings?: | yep |
What religion are your parents?: | confused |
Do your parents care if you practice the same religion as them or not?: | nope |
Do they know what religion you practice?: | yep |
Are you open about your beliefs?: | yep |
Have you ever lied about your religious beliefs to look cool?: | nope |
Do you believe a superior being exists/ existed and created life?: | yep |
One God?: | yep |
Many Gods?: | - |
Does God(s) have a gender?: | nope |
Male/female/neither?: | none of the above |
No God?: | nope |
Heaven/Hell?: | yep |
Jesus?: | yep |
Angels/demons?: | yep |
Spirits?: | yep |
Ghosts?: | yep |
Reincarnation?: | yep |
The trinity?: | yep |
Miracles?: | yep |
Aliens?: | wish they'd take me |
Magick?: | yep |
Witchcraft?: | yep |
Tarot?: | yep |
Psychics?: | yep |
Vampires/werewolves/other?: | yep |
Prayer?: | yep |
Rituals?: | yep |
Love?: | yep |
Fate?: | yep |
Predestination?: | yep |
Horoscopes?: | yep |
Astrology?: | yep |
Superstitions?: | nope |
Luck?: | yep |
Telepathy?: | yep |
Energies?: | yep |
Familiars?: | yep |
Sacred animals?: | yep |
Animals are superior, inferior or equal to humans?: | depends on the animal |
Initiation ceremonies?: | yep |
Night and day differ for a religious reason?: | nope |
Ethnicity making someone superior/inferior to others?: | nope |
Does your religion forbid anything?: | yep |
Do you dress certain ways to express your religion?: | nope |
Do other people assume what religion you practice by what you wear?: | nope |
Are humans/animals naturally good/evil/neutral/depends?: | nope |
Do you meditate/fast/chant/other?: | yep |
Do you believe/agree with everything about your religion?: | nope |
Do you believe you're right and no one elses religion matters?: | nope |
Do you ever doubt your religion or religious beliefs?: | yep |
Do you believe in yourself?: | yep |
Are you open to other religions?: | yep |
Do you feel superior to people who don't believe the same things as you?: | nope |
Do you think everyone should practice your religion?: | yep |
Do you even believe in anything?: | yep |
Are you interested in learning about other religions?: | yep |
[Section 10 - Animals] | |
Do you have any pets?: | Yes! |
If so what are they? If not, do you want any?: | 2 dogs, 2 cats |
What kind of pet would you like to have?: | Lions, tigers and bears- oh my! |
What is your favorite color on animals?: | gold |
Do you believe people should keep pets?: | yep |
Should all animals be free?: | if they choose to be |
Do you enjoy animals?: | yep |
Do you like taking care of animals?: | yep |
Do you animals keep you company?: | yep |
Do you kill animals?: | NO |
Do you hunt?: | no |
Do you hate animals?: | no |
Do you think animals have feelings?: | yep |
Do you like small/big/all/no animals?: | yep |
Do you think animals are treated poorly?: | some |
Do you wish you could change the way people act towards animals?: | some |
[Section 11 - This or that] | |
Big/small: | Big |
Cat/dog: | Both |
Black/white: | white |
Coffee/tea: | coffee |
Pepsi/coke: | coke |
Soda/other: | soda |
Wine/beer: | guiness |
Pulp/none: | none |
Scary/comedy: | comedy |
Books/magazines: | books |
Noise/silence: | silence |
Winter/summer: | summer |
Autumn/spring: | SPRING |
Summer/spring: | SPRING |
Winter/autumn: | Winter |
Night/day: | Night |
Hugs/kisses: | Kisses |
Life/death: | Life |
TV/movie: | Movie |
TV/book: | Book |
Fruits/vegetables: | Both |
Meat/vegetables: | Veggies |
Cigarettes/alcohol: | Alcohol |
Cold/hot: | hot |
Normal/different: | different |
Male/female: | Male |
School/none: | School |
Red/blue: | red |
Smart/fun: | smart |
Love/hate: | love |
Salt/sugar: | sugar |
Chocolate/vanilla: | chocolate |
Evil/good: | good |
Clean/dirty: | clean |
Angel/demon: | angel |
Sunrise/sunset: | sunrise |
Punk/goth: | punk |
Punk/prep: | punk |
Goth/prep: | goth |
Truth/lies: | truth |
Citrus/tasteless: | citrus |
Cake/cookies: | cookies |
Sun/moon: | sun |
Rain/snow: | snow |
Piercings/none: | piercings |
Short/long hair: | long |
Brand name/couldn't care less: | whatever |
Pool/ocean: | ocean |
Pen/pencil: | pen |
Sports/none: | sports |
Wet/dry: | dry |
Bath/shower: | bath |
Fireworks/glowsticks: | fireworks |
Lick/bite: | bite |
Naked/clothed: | naked |
Internet/phone: | phone |
[Section 12 - Education] | |
Do you go to school?: | Finished |
Have you gone to school?: | yep |
What's your level of education?: | Master's degree |
Do you like school?: | yep |
Learning?: | yep |
Have you ever been homeschooled?: | nope |
Would you rather be homeschooled?: | nope |
Would you rather go to public or private school?: | private |
Have you ever skipped school?: | YES |
Faked sickness to get out of school?: | yep |
Been suspended?: | yep |
Expelled?: | nope |
In detention?: | yep |
What's your favorite subject?: | English |
Least favorite?: | History |
Your schedule, block/periods/neither?: | block |
What are your grades generally like?: | good |
Do you have many classes with your friends?: | not any more |
What classes do you want to take?: | physics |
[Section 13 - What makes you] | |
Happy?: | puppies and kitties |
Sad?: | Loss |
Laugh?: | friends |
Dance?: | music |
Sing?: | happiness |
Horny?: | eye candy |
Scared?: | movies/books |
Look good?: | wanting to |
Feel good?: | wanting to |
Feel bad?: | doing something not right |
Cry?: | pain |
Jealous?: | - |
Envious?: | want |
Scream?: | anger |
Angry?: | stupid |
Smile?: | silly |
Blush?: | directness |
Sleepy?: | after 10 pm |
Excited?: | Happy |
Nervous?: | lots |
Hungry?: | not eating |
Thirsty?: | not drinking |
Feel lonely?: | - |
Sick?: | over work |
Mean?: | lack of sleep/overwork |
Want a hug?: | always |
Want a kiss?: | - |
Bored?: | lack of work |
Crazy?: | over work |
Feel strong?: | exercise |
Feel important?: | - |
Quit?: | ? |
[Section 14 - 1-10 Rating, How important is/are] | |
Friends: | 10 |
Family: | 10 |
Music: | 6 |
Love: | 7 |
Happiness: | 8 |
People: | 9 |
Silence: | 7 |
Animals: | 10 |
Education: | 9 |
Religion: | 9 |
Life: | 10 |
Medication: | 0 |
Food: | 8 |
Sleep: | 9 |
Health: | 9 |
Wealth: | 7 |
Nature: | 9 |
Shopping: | 5 |
Fun: | 8 |
Comfort: | 7 |
Water: | 9 |
Sex: | 5 |
Clothes: | 4 |
Alcohol: | 2 |
Cigarettes: | 0 |
Computer: | 4 |
Phone: | 4 |
[Section 15 - Have you ever] | |
Went skinny dipping?: | nope |
Done drugs?: | yep |
Drank alcohol?: | yep |
Played strip poker?: | yep |
Climbed a tree?: | yep |
Fallen from a tree?: | yep |
Bungee jumped?: | nope |
Been to Disneyland/world?: | Yep |
Been stung by a bee?: | yep |
Pierced yourself?: | yep |
Sky dived?: | nope |
Rolled your tongue?: | yep |
Made a clover with it? | nope |
Skiied?: | nope |
Run into a wall?: | yep |
Been on an airplane?: | yep |
On a train?: | yep |
Fainted?: | nope |
Thrown up on purpose?: | yep |
Eaten an insect?: | yep |
For no reason?: | nope |
[Section 16 - Misc.] | |
What color are your socks today?: | none |
Is that your monkey over there sneezing?: | no |
Do you own a spotted umbrella?: | no |
Do you like sporks?: | no |
What about chopsticks?: | Yes |
How many fingers do you have?: | 10 |
Do you have any stiches?: | yes |
If you could be anything/anyone you wanted, what/who would you be?: | changes with mood |
Is your mushroom broken?: | nope |
Are you a fairy?: | wish to be |
Do you abuse/starve your sims?: | sometimes |
How many candles do you own?: | I make them... hundreds |
Do you wear scarves?: | yes |
Would you care if I licked your face like a cow?: | yes |
Are the bunnies pink?: | yep |
What about the hampsters, what color are they? Green?: | nope |
What do you think about make-up?: | fun |
Random word that starts with Q: | question |
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?: | Nova Scotia |
Do you like to be naked?: | yep |
All your base _________: | s covered |
My life has never been a bed a roses: | nope |
Munchy munchy have a taco for: | nope |
Yes that comes in: | nope |
I got: | cookies |
Baby, life is like a ride on a: | zzzzzzzzzzz |
What is life?: | zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz |
COMMENTS
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