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Whirling Dervish is what I feel like I’m going through right now.



Not in a bad sense- more in a way that once I have my bearings I have something shift my perceptions to view the picture/events in a totally different perspective. A friend is sick- with what we have no idea, and it has me concerned as I know this person is not one to let on- and that things have gotten to where they are- well, I don’t like it. It actually really scares me. Granted those who know me well- know that I’m not a stranger to loosing people. This past month I lost my uncle Jim and another member from our church when I was younger died. This illness, this friend- is really affecting me more than others have in past. And honestly I’m at a loss of what to think/do. I’m just plain scared.



In my immigration, this am I got the good news that everything should be full speed ahead… and the change I was hoping to have completed by March 15- looks like it will be done by April 15th. I can’t even express what burden this will lift from my shoulders. Good things- my career is really starting to take off.. my lack of being here has been due to my taking time for me- as in getting back to watching DVD’s, reading books and just “sitting” for a while. I’ve missed spending as much time here as I normally do- and I truly have missed my journal, but it seems the past few weeks have demanded that I enjoy life pure and simple.



I’ve been working towards a new goal in yoga, and that is to live love in the moment. Not to wait, or make excuses- but just be in the moment. With the news of my friend’s illness I’m finding this to be quite the challenge. Still I find that it is love that carries me through these hard and painful times. My good friend and former roomie (2x she was my roomie!) is up here visiting me, and to have the stability of someone who just “knows” me and knows me very well has been an anchor to many of the situations I’ve found myself in.



To have the outside perspective confirm the sense of situations, has been a relief. Not that I don’t trust people here- but to say there is a difference socially between here and Seattle and my friends there would be the understatement of the year. That some of the responses have been what they were- only confirms that I was not crazy- but different from those here. I’ve been raised differently, treated differently and culturally that equates to many small “traumas” in my adjustment to living out here. I still have a long way to go with being exactly where I want to be- but I’m well on my way to achieving all that I thought I could.



I’m praying for a miracle, that my fearful thoughts are just me prepping for the worst so that when the best happens I am ecstatic. But until it is known- I will continue to pray, this simply is too important to me.

Is needed when dealing with the drama and immaturity that I've been dealing with the past two days.



Expected: yup, I am actually surprised it took this long to surface.



Warrented: nope, I'm giving you money so shut you're pie hole and take it like the greedy SOB you are.



It's days like this where my stubborn "attitude" tends to surface :P



Definately need the "spirits" today.... *sigh*

well I finally found a "Marilyn Monroe" dress... had to buy it as it was 50% off last marked price which put it at 20% of what the original price was...



Got to wear it this weekend to the rowing gala... and it was a size 6.



O.o



ummm I don't EVER remember being a 6... heck when I was six I wore a ladies size six shoe *cough*