The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

This is a short piece that I am currently working into something larger. Please don't hesitate to comment, as it is a work in progress.

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As a child of no more than five, I remember the fear he used to invoke in me. I could sense him right outside of my window, and the feeling it gave me would keep me up all night. Panic driven, knowing that something unseen was preying on me. Then just as quickly as I would notice him, he’d be gone.



My dreams each of those nights would be filled with my running from some unknown danger, one that was just beyond my sight. Helpless, I would end up in a house running through the rooms, lost, knowing they were going to find me. In and out of rooms I, knowing they were just around the corner. Trapped I would try to calm my breath so not to give my whereabouts, mind racing about where would be safe. Then he’d show up, grab my hand and lead me into a hidden passage. It was through this that we would escape through the white picket fence and down the street.



It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenty’s that I realized he was my protector. By then he was also my lover. Introducing me to touch and feeling that my young body craved, all whilst I slept. Through my dreams he taught me how I should feel in love, what true intimacy would mean. Reading each other’s thoughts and entwining our spirits to complete rapture. But this would have it’s own consequences.



His primary objective was my protection. Why, I still don’t fully understand. There are many bad things in this world, some of which attack us young so we don’t notice them as adults. They become our “normal”. These were not allowed to latch on to me, my markings will not allow this, nor will he. Whenever I found myself attacked in such a space, I could feel his anger flowing to the origin of my attackers. Interestingly I also found at those moments, that I was unable to speak loudly or leave my home. I could spend two days in this state, until the sensation blew away, and I knew I was again safe.



By my twenty’s I knew there was something else behind this protection, our bond was too great. I began to wonder if he was my soul-mate that for some reason, was not allowed to be physical on this plane with me. Had we committed some crime that forced us into this, or had we chosen this exile for some greater purpose? Did my birth markings bring and bind him to me? Perhaps I shall never know the reasons, what I do know is that in my thirties he has gone.



Not just away, there were many times throughout my life when his presence was not felt, but I could still even at great distance sense him. No longer can I find that thread between us. I try and try to pull and sense something, anything but now it is gone as if it never existed.



Since he left I have had two relationships where I finally had physical sex. Both time never touched me, moved me to anything. The sensations were fascinating, sweat, pain, and physical closeness. Spiritually, I felt nothing. It was as if I were trying to create the same binding here on this plane and instead I was closing a door.



So tonight I sit here thinking about him, wondering what has happened. When or if he will return either way I long for more. So much so that it hurts.