Dear Banks: Eff you.
*sigh* because I did a stop-payment (paid for it even) and my bank did a mistake and sent the payment back NSF- I am being charged $25.
Luckily my insurance company is very patient and willing to send me documentation that they would not be charging the $25 if the back had not have errored. So now I wait for the email so I can print it out and get the bank to cover THEIR mistake (they already had to return the NSF fee since I paid the stop-payment fee). Gah. Another reason I don't like going over the boarder, I can't shift things around in a quick manner.
Still, over all it is a good day (aside from waking silly early). I'm going to start making some soup with my squash and then put a movie on. I think it will be Harry Potter, but I'll go through my collection just to see. A friend suggested Star Wars- but jar jar on new year's eve? Nah. Now Star Trek... that has potential. Still, what I like about Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, is that both are complete "stories". So you feel like you finish something when you are done watching them.
That and I think I'm going to rearrange my room today. YAY, it is so very good to be home. Truly. I think that is why I'm being a home body- I am just so happy to BE here. :)
I have almost finished my pot of coffee. Granted, I only brew half a pot at a time, so it's not as bad as that sounds. I've been up for almost 4 hours and I really want to start organizing and doing some of the projects I have...
Only my sewing room is under my upstairs neighbor's bedroom. And my bedroom is next to that. *sigh*
I will have plenty of time later today, but until I can sleep again I want to be productive. Perhaps now is a good time to see if I can fall asleep again... I'm trying to keep it as close to normal sleep hours as possible- until I'm back fully on east coast time. That is what kills me about going to Seattle... three hours behind = not wanting to go to bed until after midnight here, and wanting to sleep till 9 or 10 am, which is three hours later than my "norm"... GAH.
Ok, I'll try reading for a bit...
So part of my trip to Seattle included realizing the pups were "advanced" enough that they could sleep with me and not have accidents during the night. I learned this because my brother's gf didn't like the "idea" of the puppies in their kennel, and after the first night when she kept them up till 6am- I needed to put a stop to it.
So I took them upstairs with me. It was a pleasant surprise.
Since I've come home, I've continued to let pups sleep with me with varied success. Last night, well Egon was an ass and started barking at something random at 3:30am. It is now 5:15 and I have folded laundry and am on my first cup of coffee.
Needless to say, tonight they go into the kennel. We will try again later in the week.
The boys are wound up. They don't just like snow- they LOVE it. Egon started right as the walk started, by started I mean starting to wrestle with Winston. Needless to say, two Dachshunds wrestling does not make for an easy walk. So we went until both did their business, and came back home where they are both having at it.
Boys.
So coming home ended up way more eventful than I planned.
First opsy was flight being delayed out of Chicago.
Second was almost an hour for baggage to be unloaded once we landed in Buffalo (this equalled almost 2 hours behind).
Had a wonderful visit and food in Buffalo thanks to my Chauffeur Birra. Pups also got to run and play in some snow before we left.
So I'm running two hours behind due to the airline delays, and the snow is starting to really fall. Time to head home.
Only to have my car simply DIE on the top of a bridge about 1/3 of the way home.
Three hours later, CAA (think AAA) finds a driver who will tow me the 2 hours home. Lucky for me, it is nothing "extraordinary" that caused the car to putz out, just a repair I was HOPING to wait until Jan/Feb to do.
So what was a long day ended up being even longer. I planned on being home around 7/8pm and ended up home at 2am. That cold that everyone at home had? Hit me the next day.
Last night I went to bed at 8pm and I didn't move until 10:30 am today. Started with congestion, but thanks to some herbs I'm fully on the mend. Still have to do a little shopping and such for food stuff, and then movies tonight.
So, now even MORE short than I expected to be thanks to trying to bank from US, and not getting to bank in time yesterday... I'm waiting for this pay check so I can pay what I can of my rent and get things in order for my New Year.
Seems all over? Well I kinda am, but overall- things are looking REALLY good for 2013. Lots of work and I'll be busting things to get busier, but over all... I am grateful! :)
Rum. Rum makes for a very Merry Christmas.
Happy Holidays to all! :)
Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas.
You won't see me until late Wed or Thurs as I'm in the go before heading home. Be safe in your travels, and enjoy your time with family and friends.
And now, the turning down process begins. Tomorrow- booked.
Monday- Booked.
Tuesday- Booked, packing.
Wed- Travel.
While it was way too long of a stay, in someways it was exactly how much time I needed to get everything done in time. Next time, I will do the gathering I tried to plan the year Garry died. I will find out a good restaurant/banquet place, and arrange for a dinner/drinks that friends can come to. Yeah it sucks to charge, but honestly- having it be so that I don't have to cook/clean, is totally worth it. Plus these days you can arrange for it to be very affordable. That or I'll find some cheezy all you can eat place and we'll make merry there.
I just feel bad that there are several people I won't get to see, and I truly want to- but I also need to not be exhausted when I return.
Today is the second day that I have "refused" to get dressed. Feels good.
Wrapped the meager presents I've gotten for family and now I'm the third movie of the Lord of the Rings. I love these movies.
Yet something about them speaks of watching them during the holidays. Something that adds to the magic of the season.
Perhaps it just relates to when they were released and I first saw them...
End of the world party last night was enjoyable. Unfortunately everyone in my house is sick. So I came home at 1am... 4am my "real" time, to five shits in the house.
That never ceases to amaze me. "Oh, I WANT to watch the puppies." = I will watch them shit everywhere and because we have hardwoods, wait for you to clean it up.
Annoying. Especially with Dachshunds as they require consistancy- or they refuse to "learn". Good thing is, Winston is learning quite well actually. Because where I'm at, they also "can't tolerate" the dogs being in their kennel. So the pups have been sleeping with me; and unlike attempts we made in past, this week no accidents until we get up and go down stairs. Now when I keep our normal routine of make coffee, walk and then drink coffee: no accidents.
It's tough when you know the person is caring, but they have NO FUCKING CLUE on how to raise a dog. Let alone that discipline and consistency are things both dogs and KIDS do well with. People are so afraid of saying or doing something that means "no" that I really wonder about their sanity.
So I slept wrong last night and am experiencing the worst neck stiffness. My godmother is in the hospital, so it looks like our dinner tonight won't happen.
My mom is upset because she doesn't want to face this could be the start of the end for my godmother. She's been three weeks without chemo because of infection, and the chemo right now is the only thing giving her more time.
This is the shitty part of cancer. You can't plan or make time, because it works on no matter what. Hopefully tomorrow we can do a lunch there. I am still thinking I can go to a friend's party tomorrow night, but we shall see with how my godmother is doing.
It sucks because there are many people I want to see and visit, but having to wait, makes plans very difficult to make. Oh well. Nap time for me now as my brother won't be home tonight. And while it is only Thurs, I leave super early on Wed - which means I'm almost to the end of my visit as Sunday through Tues will be with family.
Still a part of me simply wishes to be home. I find the state of things very discouraging, and frankly while my life is meager, it is one I truly enjoy. Ok, nap time so I can get this sour mood gone.
That awkward moment when a college friend adds you, and you're like they were gay? I don't remember them... only to realize that their name can be for a man or a woman.
D'Oh!
So my check was very short - I just got the confirmation from an email. Now to try to arrange for payment to make it's way to my bank before it closes tonight... *sigh*
It is not fun trying to bank from another country. At all.
We all have faults and flaws. But man, too many people I know live based off the needs of others to the detriment of themselves. I simply no longer "get" how people think this is healthy, when it leads to regret, hostility, and resentment. Such an ugly cycle, and so very hard to break because of guilt.
I can't express it to my friends or family, as they would take it the wrong way. I can't WAIT to get home. Next time I come, I'm not staying this long. 3-4 days max, and then in the year I'll do another trip somewhere that I want to visit. This, this is simply too much.
On the bright side, plummer comes today so the bathtub will be fixed. I will start to prep the bathroom for painting, and hopefully on the weekend it will be done.
I hate to say it, but I wish I were home. I've only been in Seattle 3 days, and I'm already feeling "done". Don't get me wrong it is very nice to be around family, but there are so many issues here that I have worked so hard to leave behind (keep in mind all families have issues).
Hardest part, is seeing how little things around the house simply haven't been fixed. And what is worse, they are simple, and if they had been dealt with in a timely manner- fairly inexpensive. But now, now they are more complex and frankly it is upsetting to see them. Yet they are not "my problem"... it frustrates me when I have spent so much time and so many years, working to prevent these things from happening.
It is a clear lesson on how stubbornness, is not a good thing. Sometimes you simply have to shut up and do. That everyone here doesn't have the time or will to learn and do- is so very frustrating. I've done more cleaning here and cooking simply because they only do things based off quick and easy. But the choices they make are so much more expensive. All around it is a case of a penny saved but several dollars lost. And the stubbornness is what is perpetuating the entire situation.
Just a quick vent before I go do more work around simply so that some of this can be better for a while.
Because while I express some of this here and to them, I get it. I was there.
It is why I no longer live here. Sometimes the key things we have to learn is moving forward and from what we used to know.
It's a big world and unless we're willing to explore, we miss out.
Finally after 9 hours of airports and flights, pups and I are in Seattle.
Was a good trip, pups are happy yet we all are tuckered out. Now, I get to do repairs on my old house once again. *sigh* but first, food and sleep.
Next few days will be hectic. I get to see what travelling in a plane with pups is going to be like...
Then it will be the whirling dervish of trying to keep working, visiting, and family time.
While I love my family and being there for the holidays, I hate leaving my home. Especially now that I have a place that really feels like "home". I feel like I'm... Well, I don't know really, but it feels off.
Perhaps it is the reason for this visit to Seattle. It sucks to once again having to say goodbye to someone you cherish and love.
Put my gym membership on hold, won't go on until after I'm in Seattle. I am hoping that things correct soon enough that I can "turn it on" sooner than I hope as I did yoga tonight, and I feel loads better.
While I know I need exercise, the past few months have been about settling in and getting things in order. Now that I'm getting closer to that, time to start pushing it more. The big issue is I won't be able to go as often as I would like. My thoughts right now point to maybe 3 times a week. Nothing like the 5-6x I was doing when the gym was a 5 min walk. Now it's closer to 30 min to walk each way.
In the summer it won't be too much, but over all it makes my time away from 1.5 hours to 2.5 hours and as anyone can tell you- it adds up. So, three times in the week and then workout tapes from home. Totally do-able. And honestly, I'm still considering the yoga studio by my house. Same price per month, and 10 min walk.
We'll see. First, I need to just "be" and second, I need to get everything done for my trip. I have a long day tomorrow, so it's time to pass out. Even though pups are wrestling and causing havoc. Heh cute assholes that they are...
I am suffering from a 3 day headache. It might even be a migraine but regardless, it's here due to over stress, over work and fretting over things I can't stop. Yesterday and today I have most of my chores done. Tonight/later I'll make some candles that were ordered, and then do some laundry.
That is the best part, I'm unpacked, just need a little reorganization- and then to go through things that honestly have waited years to go through. But it feels good to be in a place where otherwise, I'm caught up. It's all those, "one day" projects that are left.
Had some friends stop by yesterday, seems like things are progressing nicely. Big shift. Downsizing even, but you know what? I'm totally cool with that. I'm still scared about how to work through things, but that too is progressing and today, I do have one appointment to situate that. Also, I think I'll take the opportunity to do hot yoga today. I need the "brain clear". More I need to move- especially because of this headache.
But that is the big issue, more makes it last longer, less does to... find your balance.
We have a staff party today. I'm exhausted and I don't know if I'm going to go. I feel like I need to just putter at home for the next two days as Tue, Wed, and Thurs are crazy busy with clients (typically happens before I leave).
So time to walk the dogs, put sliders on and just "see" about what will happen today.
There it is. That small piece of what I was looking for. Exciting.
Time to put the right energy forward to make this a great next step.
It really sucks. This year I had a plan for getting Christmas cards out- but due to finances, I simply won't have the funds - even for my patient cards. Gah.
It is aggravating having to go through this, but in the same instance- I need to learn and remember why. I knew that I would want a cap. I knew that one would be needed- yet I didn't push the point. Lesson learned.
Unless you are EMPLOYED, cap the rent. Simple as that. Reason being? Employed = set amount of income for hours worked. This? I'm working my ass off, paying premium that I would pay for a full time assistant and a room, and having to do all the work promoting me, myself. Simply doesn't work.
And it's frustrating. The people who are doing well at the centre, are the ones that honestly treat it as a employment. But now it is clear why so many only come part time, or don't ever work hard to make it work- there is no incentive. And that means, it will continue to do as it always has.
One more thing of many to look at when choosing the next steps. *sigh*
a part of me envies you in your happiness, wishes that somehow my path were more similar to yours.
Then I remember what I would have to give up; me.
That solves the problem and I find other ways of distracting myself in an endless coping mechanism.
At least I tell myself that.
So those of you that are interested, you can follow the pictures and now videos of Egon and Winston on their fan page.
Yes, the buggers have BIG heads.
https://www.facebook.com/Egon.and.Winston
Headache. From lack of working out, too much stress and lots of work. Still it has been a great day, so I'm going to do some offline work, watch some netflix and maybe a chore or two after dinner.
Early bed me thinks.
How can one honestly and truthfully express gratitude when one feels fake because it's the thing to do? Hell with it, I'm going to regardless, because thoughts are things...
I hate the situation where you simply can't see enough to know what to do.
I see plenty, but not enough to understand and KNOW the solution.
Did I mention I'm still not the greatest with patience?
Big jump backwards.
Not in reality, but in thought. Pull it back to basics. Do what you know, work that to the full extent, then leap.
Follow the formula, do not make things harder than they need to be.
So I did two testings of video for future blog spots. I'm still going over so much information, I feel like I'm in over-drive.
That stated, I'm confident that what I'm doing is the right next steps.
I'm still blind to the bigger picture, perhaps because what I need to do is right here/now. But I feel a transformation, not too different from when I first was moving from Seattle to here. It's exciting, scary and liberating- mostly because so many of the pieces I've been working on for so long feel like they are "finishing, coming together, revitalizing" into the next portion.
Not to say I don't have a very long way to go... but I am feeling a "can do" even knowing how hard the next steps are. That is the true reason so many people become self employed; the self empowerment. Still, it often means much more work for less "rewards" but the rewards it gives, to myself, are infinitely better.
So Egon's latest trick is to sit down when we come home for a walk. What, why is this a trick, you ask? Because Egon knows that the first dog dried off gets off leash first, and this allows him to attack or taunt Winston while I dry Winston off. Little bugger.
I joined Tut.com for daily affirmations recently. And I have to say getting one each day is a blessing. Gets me in the right head space right as I'm starting my day.
Today's affirmation reminded me that there are no coincidences. And funny enough, it was almost exactly a year ago that I bought Egon. I remember thinking when I saw the puppy pictures- THAT IS MY DOG. But I also knew my reality at that moment wouldn't support that. Yet two months later, it had changed and now does.
My email today ended with win/win/win/win/win
How will you win today?
Four hours of business work on my day off. Tis ok, the house is clean (except bedroom), and food is cooked. Time to walk the pups, put on a movie and nap. :)
After back to organizing my bedroom - NEEDS TO BE DONE... and then... THEN, I only have my sewing room to clean! YAY!
Had hot fireman put up window plastic for me. Did I mention he is also my awesome landlord?! And I like to tease him? lol seriously, today I am thankful for him and our friendship over the years. Little fact for those who don't know: I met him right here on VR over 7 years ago.
o.O wow, it's been a long haul. BUT, more importantly, it's a pleasant reminder of real people here, making a difference in each other's lives and our communities.
In an effort to not feel so, "I did nothing today"... I did finish putting up all my Christmas decorations. I borrowed a tree from one friend, and another loaned me three strings of lights. It's good to have the place festive.
I also did two loads of laundry/towels and linens we used for cooking/cleaning and decorating... well people typically spill food on the tables...
Plus I made the turkey soup. Tomorrow I will add the veggies, but the broth is made, strained and the turkey bones/fat separated from the meat and ready to go. So much happened over the last day, it's been very good. Tomorrow I will start a more rigorous workout at home as I have to give up my gym membership for the next little bit. Other things right now are a priority, and honestly with the puppies, I simply don't know how often I can make it there. Chances are good I'll join a hot yoga studio 10' walk from here. I like walking to the gym, not driving. Might sound silly...
I still have to do my room. Tomorrow. But I also have other work and chores tomorrow. Still, for everyone that talked me off the ledge and deal with my burst of emotion from last week, and those that just sent a positive thought, you have my gratitude.
There is an aspect that right before we accomplish things, it is then we get tested the most. I feel like that train didn't hit me, it ran me over. How will I do?
Hell, I don't know. I'm just grateful for what I have surrounding me. Heh, right not that is wrestling puppies. Ok bath time. Over and out y'all. Take care of each other, and more importantly, be who you were meant to be.
Fuck everything else. Honestly, be who you are, and you have given YOU. That is awesome in the simple power of it.
Bacon wrapped turkey...
:-O
Who knew?! It makes a bacon/turkey gravy that is AMAZING.... *burp*
I don't think I've eaten so much in forever. Was an amazing day yesterday with Kat coming over to help prep the turkey while I cleaned and prepped the house for guests. Turkey went in at noon, wine was opened around 2, and we didn't close shop till almost 12:30.
Today, I'm watching netflix to recover from the marathon day with friends. I'll also start organizing my bed room (after this, I only have the sewing room!!!!!!) and finish decorating the tree.
Blessings truly aren't about things, they are about shared love. Pure and simple.
This is a very interesting documentary.
http://www.cbc.ca/player/Shows/Doc+Zone/ID/1405930535/
OMG
My friends look like their parents o.o
*hangs head in shame*
I'm sooooo old.
So it happened.
I knew change was coming, yet once more it hits in a manner I'm not expecting.
*sigh*
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