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CrackInTheWall's Journal


CrackInTheWall's Journal

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20 entries this month
 

17:21 Apr 30 2014
Times Read: 517


Yesterday I sent the email to start the process of ending my Ontario license. I also closed some accounts.



When I moved it was with the intent of coming back. And that might happen- I won't say no; but the reality is this move has cost 20k, and that must be paid back in full before I even think of moving again.



There is the aspect I had a "nagging feeling" that it would come to this, but now being here... well. What can be said that hasn't been said before?



Nostalgia tugs at my heart while practicality moves me forward.


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16:57 Apr 29 2014
Times Read: 528


YAY! It's a day off!



However when you own a business, that means something entirely different.



Today on my "day off", I will:



Re-write and proof 5 different letters, posters and messages.



Set up marking for the next month.



Apply to and pay for events this summer.



Buy supplies we are almost out of.



Shop for other supplies that I'd like a better price point on.



Make certain payments have gone through, find accounting errors for any that are incorrect, etc.



Ok back to worky work on my day off (hey at least I'm in super girl pj's!)


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04:04 Apr 28 2014
Times Read: 547


I'm starting to realize a few things. I won't say that I don't care, because that simply isn't true.



However, I care enough to make changes. And it could effect you.



But that I don't care about, because if it's negative; then chances are you brought it on yourself.


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03:18 Apr 28 2014
Times Read: 548


There is something exceedingly therapeutic about a day in PJ's and wine.


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16:30 Apr 24 2014
Times Read: 560


It has been YEARS since I've been able to actually purchase my Mom a mother's day gift; let alone have money to buy a card and have the money for postage.



Yeah, things here are a whole different ball game for me.



Ironically?



I'm doing nothing different. It is honestly the difference of when you own and have citizen rights, vs. not having them. Had my permanent residency gone through in 2010 it would have been entirely different. That is one of the struggles I'm having right now. Keeping the fear based off of what happened, from polluting what is now.



Regardless, I just purchased my mom her gift and it will be delivered by May 1st. Yeah, so it will be early. But honestly, it's something she needs/wants and actually was going to buy. That I could do this- makes me feel awesome. I've also been buying little things here and there for her when she's here. Just because she'll be spending almost a month with me (most of June), and honestly I'm certain she'll be back in the fall too.



This move really was for her. I do know this, but it makes me wonder; when will I have a time just for me?



Well like they say, no time like the present. And while I'm not looking at big things, I'm doing little things that I enjoy. Like taco Wed with the massage therapist, and crappy chinese buffet on fridays. No, not huge things; but things that were extreme luxuries over the past few years.



Ok, back to worky work. Because while it's great that it's better, if I don't keep working- well, that would not be good ;)


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17:49 Apr 23 2014
Times Read: 578


So I failed my drive test, yesterday. But not for the reasons I would have failed myself, lol. Seriously it is funny. The person giving the test and I stepped off on the wrong foot- so I knew she was "gunning" to fail me. What I found funny is she missed when I was 15 miles above the speed limit. It's annoying but here the fee to retest? $1.50.



WHAT?



Yup. $1.50 to retest. What a waste of money since I paid $29 to test and for my license. I'm not complaining from my end, however I view it as a massive waste of my tax dollar that the department does this, especially when she said; "you drive really well." *roll eyes* Yuh, I do. And now that the anxiety of the test is over, I will get my license (I've had one continuously since 1988, just have to re-test because they don't recognize an Ontario license in Kansas). Sheesh.



I'm also almost done with getting the "basics" of what I'm looking for in the clinic done. Still a bunch to go over. But it's getting there. I also had to deal with some things in Ontario due to people saying things that are incorrect, and partial truths. Some of it is expected, but my biggest issue is with the ones where they are making these statements in court because of a case they are in. Lord, shit hit the fan for so many people I know.



But it's good, I'm just glad I can start to see the "end" where I should be able to have some "down" time to do the stuff I want to do (aside from work). Over all, I'm exceedingly pleased and things seem to be moving in the right direction. My hardest aspect right now is to not be "suspicious of this", to "not take advantage", be "happy", but not "over confident". Which leaves me simply:



Overwhelmed.


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17:19 Apr 21 2014
Times Read: 587


Oh and I did get some good news, the former landlord rented my place; and to someone I recommended it to. That makes me happy that he's looked after.



Perhaps this is part of my "state of mind".



Things here are good. Lots to do, but lots of promise too.



However, I can't help but miss my friends terribly and the aspect of family that we had built. See that is the thing, I can see my self living here a long time; I have family and work to satisfy day to day things, but my friends- my chosen family is all in Ontario. It is a huge conflict for me.


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17:02 Apr 21 2014
Times Read: 588


It's time to hit the mat. Seriously hard.



Simply because I have to work out all the jibber jabber in my head. Today and tomorrow my work will surround 2 hours of administrative, and then the rest is for me to clean and do what I need to do.



First - a short Yoga tape and breakfast. Tomorrow I'm going to pack my bike to take with me to work so I can get it fixed so I will finally ride it.



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16:52 Apr 20 2014
Times Read: 596


Happy Easter and Passover my friends!



Today I'm doing some work both from home and at the office (only cleaning fish tank, and doing posters in the office). Plus some time catching up with chores and well, nothing.



It was a busy week. I got many supplies that aren't "needed" right now, but will help us save in the long run, and I'm mapping out the next batches of supplies to order- that should keep us only needing needles for the rest of the summer (while $$ now, it means less over all). Honestly it's like haemorrhaging. However, it also means everything is accounted for, and systems are in place. This long term will make things go much smoother, and hopefully we'll see an increase as I get more and more into being here.



I have to say it's been a rough but smooth transition. Partially because there was not time to question, doubt or do anything except move. All that is left for me to situate right now is my passport and driver's license. Everything else that is a "now" item, is done.



It's strange feeling that sense of "freedom". I could very well get used to it, but the past 7 years have me scared to trust anything. So rather than being fearful, I'm trying to play it smart, a little bit of this- with fun; and a whole lot of big picture with being frugal (that means buying some items on sale at costco, even if we aren't out ,but just low- so I'm not paying for gas 2x OR I'm not paying $5 more from amazon).



One of the fun purchases... a LAMINATOR :D YAY!!! Costco had a fancy version for $45 with 50 sheets of laminate... and then another "cheap" version for $15 with 100 sheets of laminate... hmmmmm I bet you can't guess which one I got.. YAY for cheap laminator that is cheaper than getting the items laminated at staples!



Ok back to chores and some journal reading :) HOP HOPPY y'all!


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15:22 Apr 15 2014
Times Read: 611


So the majority has been transitioned. Now it's about getting everything done that needs doing. Today I meet with the book keeper as the accountant is going back on his word to the previous owner and not willing to do what he said he would.



This means we'll do one more notarizing of documents, and then see if my new accountant (yeah, this dude is gone. I had a bad feel from what things looked like- now I know) can/will do the work. The answer may be no- but there are still other options to doing it. What is important is the previous owner and myself are on the same page with this sale- and he has a vestment with wanting the business to continue- and hey, imagine, I do too!



So much happening... *sigh*


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21:14 Apr 13 2014
Times Read: 627


Hey maybe you all can help me come up with a bumper sticker slogan that suits Kansas.



Some of the "racy" ones from other clinics are:



I sleep with strangers @ ____community acupuncture



I go to the biggest prick in town ____community acupuncture



Nap time for adults ___ CA




So help me out here, let's play with words and sayings:



Best acupuncture slingers in the mid-west ___CA



Come see the wizards at ____ CA



It's wicked how great you'll feel after a prick at

___CA



See stars during your Acu-Nap at ____ CA
note on this one:Ad astra means "thus you will go to the starts" and is the Kansas motto that means "to the stars through difficulties" Ad astra per aspera.



SO, any other ideas? Funny, suggestive, help a girl out :)





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20:59 Apr 13 2014
Times Read: 630


So I went to a party for my cousin.. just a small gathering of family, over 20 people there o.O ACK, I've got to get used to this difference in socializing.



Today is blessed day off. About to do dog walk 2 and some hooking. Exhausted from the week, and still have so very much to do- but am ok with it. Four weeks left with the owner at the shop and then we will shift to our schedule until July.



That means I want to have everything ready to roll by May 15. I have a LOT of work to do. But it is doable, and a little something each day makes it a bit easier.


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01:07 Apr 12 2014
Times Read: 635


I have been swamped with so much happening with the change over of the business. I am completely overwhelmed. Again dealing with delays that are going to make thing very tight, but doable. Over all, exhausted.



So early bed for me, and then work tomorrow for a DAY OFF and VNV nation on Sunday!!! YAY!!!!


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17:29 Apr 07 2014
Times Read: 648


And of course, we officially switch everything... and the internet craps out at clinic today. Heh. Time to head over and fix this sh*t. :P



Happy Monday!


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01:47 Apr 07 2014
Times Read: 659


So when Mom was here I ordered Hulu plus, because she wanted to watch the Oscars. I've since kept it because of the TV shows that were not on Netflix and this way I can keep up "almost" in real time.



Not too fond of the commercials (as they repeat within each show) but have come across a new show, Dracula. I'm actually enjoying it. Love that it is turn of the century but still has some very dark and sadistic points.



So, that is what I'm doing today, and crocheting.


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02:17 Apr 04 2014
Times Read: 684


Does anyone else do this? Reading journal entries with an "accent"? It does not matter what is written, I read journal's "as if" they wrote it in dialect.



Y'all know what I mean?


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01:50 Apr 04 2014
Times Read: 690


Today I officially finished all the outstanding business in my old clinic. It's good, but there is a sense of loss associated with it.



I have also spent the day with the pups and doing some crocheting. Sadly I think I'm about to tear apart a scarf for the 3rd time. I just don't like how it looks and I know how to fix it now... so, time to redo again. I also got my yarn order for this year's Christmas gifts. I think I may have to do another one as it wasn't quite as much yarn as I was hoping for.



Other things- well, it's going, and going fairly well. I'm going to take my bike in tomorrow for a "tune up" and new tires, and then both bikes will be fully road ready.



My friend told me the other day that she got all the Poker Run materials from our other friend. But she doesn't think she'll be doing the run this year; sadly that is what I expected. While it's great that I can call and keep up with everyone; it also seems to just be a driving factor in missing him. However, I'm happy to report that each day, it seems more like a story- something that happened to someone else.



And the more it feels like that, the more I focus on now. But that isn't the whole truth.



There is this aspect, that as things go back to how I used to live; seeing myself around family and really stepping back into "me"... the more that it all seems by design. Like I willingly gave up this time specifically for one purpose, and now that it is done; I go back to where I left off.



Quite literally in some aspects. While that seems almost comforting, I find it rather disturbing on a very deep level.


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16:09 Apr 02 2014
Times Read: 695


I can do this, so very tired today; but I think my migraine yesterday was caused by the thunderstorms last night. At least it's not as bad as they have been in past; but the day after still has this monster "hang over" type of feel to it.



Also I've started to prep for working out *which to some is doing work outs* but with two months off, I'm way off my game, and just wanting to take it slow. So prep it is, which is basically small sets to get me ready to "jump" back in.



Almost there... Oh and the bank? Mom went to her bank and had an answer in two hours opposed to the 5 weeks we're going on with the other bank (nevermind yesterday they asked for MORE personal information, that they had confirmation of already; but they wanted to see the deposits). Safe to say, neither one of us will be banking with them (I will be closing my account as soon as I'm able to and have fines). And the $20 in checks? Small price to know who not to do business with. Sheesh.


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16:10 Apr 01 2014
Times Read: 704


There is just so much going on right now... I have a complete migraine. I'm angry and feel "douped", but I also know it will pass and I will be able to do this. I'm just so very frustrated with everything right now.



That's all.


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03:54 Apr 01 2014
Times Read: 614


So freaking upset.



BAH. That is one thing I hate about business. People often hide things and then only disclose after the fact. Grrr.



Still working on the plan moving forward... but GRRRRRRRR


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