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I am not scared of death, nor have I ever been.
I am scared of seizing to exist...
Is this the end?
Do I need to run thru my bucket list?
I don't want to make my mom cry.
Never.

I don't wanna be the girl
Who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never
Wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call
At 4 o'clock in the morning
'Cause I'm the only one you know
In the world that won't be home
Ahh, the sun is blinding
I stayed up again
Oohh, I am finding
That's not the way I want my story to end
I'm safe up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside
You're my protection
How do I feel this good sober?
I don't wanna be the girl
Who has to fill the silence
The quiet scares me
Cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that
We had that conversation
I won't remember, save your breath
'Cause what's the use?
Ahh, the night is calling
And it whispers to me softly,
"Come and play"
Ahh, I am falling
And if I let myself go
I'm the only one to blame
I'm safe up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside
You're like perfection
How do I feel this good sober?
I'm coming down, coming down, coming down
Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round
Looking for myself, sober
I'm coming down, coming down, coming down
Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round
Looking for myself, sober
When it's good, then it's good
It's so good till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find
The you that you once had
I have heard myself cry, "Never again"
Broken down in agony
Just trying to find a friend
I'm safe up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside
You're like perfection
How do I feel this good sober
I'm safe up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside
You're like perfection
How do I feel this good sober?
Will I ever feel this good sober?
Tell me, No no no no no pain
How do I feel this good sober?

Listening to old songs. Not neccesarily ours, but mine. My soul is embedded there. It still hurts to remember, even though it's been years now. It still felt right, at the time. Now, I realize it was not right but it meant the world to me. Holding on, to a dream, a hope. It was what had to be. It was all that was. Now, I know it was never meant to be. How I hate to admit that I was wrong. In every way possible. There is no stopping what the heart wants, is there? Beach trips, day and night. Nothing wrong nothing right. Just loving and laughing. It's what made life move on. Watching the stars. Never realizing that it would come to an end. I thought I was enough. I thought you were enough. No doubt. Funny how life tricks you into thinking it just keeps going on. No changes; yet it does. I miss the warmth of the ignorance.

This world has nothing for me,
I have nothing to lose.
Yet, I want to live.
Live forever!
I'm trapped here,
just like you.
Lonely,
waiting,
for so much more.
My heart was broken long ago.
So why does it still hurt?
I wait for you to come....

Let me cry
in silence
I need to get it off my chest
This love that use to burn
still lingers
like small embers
How do I put them out?