Honor: 0 [ Give / Take ]
9 entries this month
21:46 Apr 26 2008
Times Read: 544
You know sometimes I wonder why Adam puts up with me (LOL). I can be so mean, and controling when I don't get my own way. Almost like a spoiled brat at times! I know I do these things, and I know that when I do things like this, it is only because I want my own way. Always get it too!
Adam is the type of person which needs to be controled at times though. Not that I enjoy doing it, ok well that maybe telling a little white lie. I cannot say I don't enjoy being in control. But it would be nice if from time to time he would be able to use his brain to think and do something for himself. Sometimes I feel like he is the puppet and I am the puppet master.
Maybe it isn't so much as controling him as it is trying to teach him things. When it comes to raising his son. I think he is doing it ass backwards, and I have already told him that we are going to be butting heads when it comes to that....(Only if he stands up to me)
I know everyone does things differently. But when converting as 1 family, things should be done the 1 way only. Otherwise your going to end up with out of control kids. When one parent says NO, they will go to the other parent to hear that YES! Not going to happen!!! Not on my watch!
Everyone needs structure and balance in their life, at the moment Richard has neither. When he is with me, he knows his limits, rules, mannors, and respect. When he is with his father, the only thing he knows is how to back talk.
Growing up, I was raised by 1 parent. That parent being my dad. My stepmother didn't come into the picture until I was 12. My dad tought me everything from how to cook, to fixing a car! The one thing which is always told me was to show respect. Respect your elders, respect your school, respect your home, respect your parents, respect nature. If I had to ever back talk my dad I am sure he would have made my head spin.
Fortunally, I never disrespected him. He was and still is an awesome man. Now I am a parent myself. I've taken a good look around at my life along with other peoples lives. Most men out there don't even take responsibility for their actions when it comes to raising children. No child suppose, no weekend visits, no nothing.
Adam is a man like my father. He took on the responsibality of raising his son on his own with no help, no mother figure. He is mom and he is dad. I have so much respect for that alone. Actions speak louder then words! I just think that Richard may need his mouth washed out with soap before we move in together lol.
02:14 Apr 26 2008
Times Read: 547
Yay the weekend is here!!
Not really! I'm bored! Planning on going out tomorrow night with my good friend Meranda. Since I am moving and all to a different city, I'll no longer get to see her. So we figured 1 night of clubbing and drinking!!
Haha! Yeah....Right! Me drink? I'll have 3 drinks the most, then I cut myself off!! I cannot remember the last time I got drunk. In my early 20's thats for sure!
Anyway's! I've been thinking, if I had a premium membership to this site, I could be on here right now fixing the profile a little better! Not like I don't know html's and all that good crap! Remember, I worked for a computer company for how long? Yeah, I think I know my way around the keyboard and screen! LOL
So I'm debating!!
The kids are gone for the weekend with their father. He'll have them back to me by 3pm on Sunday! I miss them already! Their father gets mad at me every weekend he has them because I call them everynight to say good night to them. lol
So yeah, home on a Friday night, all alone, with nothing to do. That membership is looking better and better the more I think about it!
We'll see though! I'm almost convienced...Not totally though!
06:43 Apr 25 2008
Times Read: 551
May 4th 2008
Will be 7 years since my step mother passed away from Cancer. Not a day goes by where I do not think about her. How I loved her so much. Sad part is, I should have said it to her more often. As the days come closer, I think about her more and more. She was my bestfriend. Someone I went to when I needed someone to talk too, Someone who was always there when I needed her. Even when I moved from home. She always knew when to call me.
I love you Alice!
00:14 Apr 25 2008
Times Read: 556
Well I have Adam's cat down here. I don't know what I am going to do with her though to be quite honest. She was always the kind of cat which didn't like people, hell the cat never enjoyed being petted, but now she is 10 times worse. We got her here, I brought her upstairs to my bedroom. Thought I am not just going to throw her in on my Krissie a nd Harley. Figured I would allow them all to get the sents in then work from there.
Anyways, when I took her out of her little carrying cage she was alright. She gave a little meow and that was it. I kept her up for about 5 minutes, petting her. She was fine!
So I left her in the room to walk, smell, whatever! I went downstairs, tended to everything I needed to do, said bye to Adam and Richard. Then they left. So I went back into my bedroom where the cat was. The first thing she started doing was hissing at me. So I left her alone, figured when she wanted to come to me she would. So eventually she came over to me, I went to touch her, she hissed, so again I left her alone. Every move I made she hissed. So she eventually jumped on the bed where I was and came over to me, I touch her, she was fine. So I continued to pet her, then out of no where the little bitch, yes I am calling the cat a little bitch took a clawl to me, cut my lip, chin and my hand.
I know she is freaked out. Not in the 1 and only home she ever knew, then she is not with Adam or Richard. She is in a different place with more then 1 animal. Yes, she is freaked out. But I cannot see her calming down. She was always a demon cat, now she is 10 times worse.
I fear I may have to get rid of her. I'm going to give her 24 hours, if she has not calmed down, I may have no other choise but to give her to the animal shelter. I really don't want to do it, but I can't have her attacking myself, or my kids for that matter.
VENTING!!!!
03:09 Apr 24 2008
Times Read: 560
When I finally have a solution for 1 problem, another problem arises. Why? Can anything ever go as I would like it to go?
Adam moved out of his apartment a month before him and I move in together. He wanted to save up a little more money. It sounded like a good idea at the time, now I am regretting ever going along with the idea.
He is staying with his sister for the next 23 days. Which is a terrific idea! The problem was that he should have made a better plan when thinking about the cat! Yes I am pissed off because of the cat!!!
The plan was he and Richard would stay with Adam's sister, and Adam's friend Tom would have the cat for those 23 days! Adam's sister has a bad reaction to animals which lose fur, so having the cat there would be a problem.
I wanted the cat down here with me. I was the one who got the cat in the first place. About a year ago I went and picked out 2 kittens which were sisters. 1 for my house & 1 for Adam's place. The kids love both of them! When Adam first told me that his friend Tom would have the cat, I told him NO!! To give me the cat.....Seriously, when him and I move in together his cat is going to have to get use to having not only my cat around, but also my dog as well! (Yes I am a serious animal lover). So what better way of getting them use to one another then having them living together?
Anyways, I finally agreed to Tom looking after the cat. Last night was the first night the cat was over there, Tom calls Adam up today and tells him he has to come and get the cat!
What was the point of this? More bother then any good. He said if he does not go there to get the cat, he will bring her to the animal shelter. I am so pissed!! If he had listened to me in the first place, none of this would be going on at the moment. Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?
So yeah if this isn't enough to get on anyone's nerves. Now I have Monique pissing me off once again!
Monique - A friend who thinks everyones world has to revolve around her!
Yes, I have told her this several times! Sorry if the truth hurts, but seriously. I cannot be on the phone with you every single minute of the day when I have cleaning to do, take care of the children, and pack my shit for the move! At the moment I do have more important things which I need to get done! The only time she ever seems to call is when she notices on my status that I am pissed off over something, then she will call just to be nosey! The last time I spoke to her I had my status sat to "NOT IMPRESSED"....
What does she do? She calls me up, and the very first thing she says to me after I say "Hello" is Why are you not impressed?
Ok, I don't know about anyone else. But when calling someone on the phone. Normally the first things which I say are Hello? How are you?
If all you want is to be nosey, and if that is the only time you are going to call me....Then I would much rather if you NOT called at all......THANKS!! Oh look, talk about the devil, and she appears on MSN messenger! Go figure! Her ears must have been burning!
05:44 Apr 23 2008
Times Read: 564
I swear some people are just to darn nosey! I don't know why Adam's neice continues to call and ask questions. I know growing up her and I use to be good friends, but over the years, we have drifted apart, and have become 2 totally different people.
In the 3 years that we have reconnected with one another, she has not as much called twice in 1 year. Since I have been back with Adam. I cannot seem to get rid of the woman! Within the past week she has called atleast 3 times per day! OMG Stalker material!!!
Wouldn't be so bad if she called to actually have a conversation with me. But no, she calls and starts being nosey. She has so much to say about everyone else, but yet she fails to realize that she is only talking about other people just to make her life out to be that much better then everyone else.
Here she is, has the nerve to talk about someone else and their so called drinking problem. Yet everytime I talk to her on the phone, including tonight. She doesn't even have her kids in bed before she is out having a beer and a joint!
Nothing like the POT calling the KETTLE BLACK!
I just think she should take a good hard look at her life first before she goes around talking about other people. I can just imagine what she goes saying about me when she is talking to someone else LMAO! Then again there isn't much she can say! I don't drink, I don't smoke pot or do any other kind of drug. Well ok, she can talk about my smoking cigarettes, but that would be about it!
My God! The last thing I want to be hearing is someone telling me how wonderful their sex life is and everything they do! Please!!! NO MORE MENTAL PICTURES!! I don't care to know your husbands D**K size! I have my own which I am quite satified with!
I'm not even going to bother to answer the phone anymore when I see her number show up! Adam was right, I should just tell her to leave me alone!
What a day!
16:17 Apr 22 2008
Times Read: 571
I am so tired!!! I finally fell to sleep around 3am this morning. Got the kids off to school by 8:30. Then started my daily chores lol!!
I'm not quite use to this yet. Staying at home I mean. For so long I've been getting up at 5am, getting the kids off to the babysitters by 7am, then starting work at 8am.
For the last 2 weeks I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. Its really nice though not having to work. I can so get use to it lol. But here I am in this house, trying to pack, clean, get things done with the kids. Its a never ending story. 24 hours in a day just isn't enough for me! I've become moody. Not to mention controlling lol. I've noticed myself doing that within the last week. I think I need to lighten up a bit. Maybe take a day to myself and just relax. I'm just afraid that if I do that, I won't get everything done before its time to move.
Oh well. Best get off here and start laundry LOL
Unable to Sleep!05:39 Apr 22 2008
Times Read: 575
O.K...
So here I am another sleepless night for me. It's going on 12:30am, normally I am in bed by 11pm the latest, and sleep before 12am. Ever since I started packing up I haven't been able to sleep good at night.
I don't know if it is because I am excited to move, or if I'm scared, or just stressed over everything. Maybe its just everything playing on my mind.
I have 3 weeks until the move, and I only have about 16 boxes packed. We have so much here, I don't know how I am ever going to be able to get it all done before the day comes. I don't want to be asking anyone for help because I really don't like the idea of anyone else going through my things. Yeah, I'm kind of a private person.
I keep thinking about the kids going to a new school and having to make new friends all over again. At first Brittany didn't want to move. Then she quickly change her mind when her "bestfriend" made another "bestfriend" and now no longer wants anything to do with Brittany. Kids these days! She was so hurt over that though. I don't know where she gets the soft heartedness from because I certainly don't have any!
Steven cannot wait to move. But I'm worried about him not making friends. Or not adjusting to the school. He can be such a clown at times. I'm just afraid he will do something and get in trouble for it. Wouldn't be the first time!
The only problem I think Richard will have is dealing with my new set of rules. That child can get pretty stubborn at times. No trouble to tell he is like his father!
Got to love all 3 of them though! Each and every 1 of them have their own uniqueness about them!
Oh well, lets see whats happening on VR tonight!
My Thoughts
04:07 Apr 22 2008
Times Read: 578
For the past few weeks now I have been trying to get everything ready for the big move. Packing up the kids and myself is not an easy task. Switching schools, packing up everything we are taking. Trying to register them in another school.
I haven't had a good nights sleep since I've started packing. I honestly cannot wait until this move is over and done with! I'm happy to do doing this though, bigger house, all 3 kids will have their own bedrooms. I will finally be able to get far enough away from family!! I know thats a mean thing for me to say, but seriusly, sometimes they can really get on my nerves. Sister always butting her nose into my business. Mother trying to parent my kids. Yeah, like I am going to have that continue! I don't know why she tried to do that. I've been raising my kids since they popped out of me. Not like I need any help. Besides, what she does is not helping me, if anything its making my relationships with my kdis worse.
Was just thinking, once we get into the new house, we are going to have to unpack everything. I still have to do painting. This is going to take me another 2 months to get settled away.
Well atleast I won't be starting my new job until the kids go back to school in September. So I'll have all summer to spend with the kids. Adam still wants to try for a 4th child. I'm debating. Steven is now going on 8 years old. Thats a huge age gap. I would actually be starting all over again. Would be nice though. I've been thinking about wanting another 1 ever since Tiernan was born. He is so beautiful, more then likely he will be my 1 and only God child. I'm going to have him spoiled like crazy!
May as well be going here. Just took a look at the time. I bet you this is going to turn into another sleepless night for me. Oh well, I guess I should be use to it by now.
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