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Do you ever get that feeling that you wish your life were more like your favorite show, or movie?



Well, my life is kind of like that. Except, I do actually live in my head, and because I have my own world up there, it changes as rapidly as my thoughts do. It's not all bad really, sometimes it's very fun. Other times... Okay, most times, it's nothing short of an apocalypse after a worldwide nuclear fallout. After a while, it gets easier to never show it, but the side effect is that you become distant, no matter how close you are to someone. The worst part is, no matter how much you care, it's damn near impossible to show it.



However, to curse God, or to be angry at the world, because of something so far out of my control, would be absolutely preposterous. I was made this way. Therefore, I know how to make everything look peachy keen, and no one's the wiser. Of course to say that there aren't times where things become unbearable and I have no choice but to display emotion, would be a falsehood, but typically it's sadness/depression, along with a release of my inner most hate.



Why am I bothering to tell any of you, any of this information? To be completely honest, I'm not even sure myself. A release, I suppose. I always said I can best express myself through a written format.

I could find myself to be very wrong, but I ponder if my nature is inherently evil, and my actions are merely repressing that nature. Perhaps I will follow further down this rabbit hole another time.