The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Rain and Earthen Marked Dream of May 26, 2012
04:42 May 28 2012
Times Read: 372

I dreamt that I was among many people. There were more men than woman there but all of us were running from the storm that was moving quickly across the sky. I was an outsider in this group but when the storm came it didn't seem to matter much. I took a metal object from my pocket and threw it to the ground. Lightening struck it over and over. The people looked at me strangely. Some of them were climbing high on top of buildings. I recall kneeling on the group and smearing my body with mud. I put it under my eyes like I was marking myself for war. A man commented that maybe I was a slave instead. I went after him in violence. Then I recall seeing a line of children all tied up like prisioners of war. They couldn't have been older than 6 and 7. I told them that everything would be alright.

Feeling Not Symbology
15:08 May 24 2012
Times Read: 375




Lately I've been doing a lot of dream work and searching for something that will help me to trigger my lucidity more often in order to continue to develop the conscious dreaming process. Last night I was hit with the metaphorical brick of what this "symbol" is that I need to kick start the process any time I'd like. Most of us have heard of deja'vou. Well I have that through the day like any other person but I also have it when I go to sleep and enter the dream world. Most of my dreams are so familiar that they scream deja'vou. It has lead me to saying on more than one occasion that I live my life backwards. So duh, the symbol I'm looking for isn't a repetiitive visual symbol (which does often occur) it is a feeling! As of tonight I'll begin incubating some words of power with the intention of keeping the conscious awareness streaming so to speak. I just thought I'd share that little insight with some of the other active-dreamers I know here.

Wisdom Out and Musical Reflections
22:59 May 22 2012
Times Read: 376

Last night I dreamt of a field of green. I've been there many, many times before and usually I'm just under the moon and hearing some kind of music although I never know where it is coming from. At some point I shifted to a dream where there was a gathering of people and a lot of wolves. I can't seem to recall why we were there but the old woman was familiar too. There were no attempts to dreamwalk but I'm incubating more and more images into a kind of outdoor temple in my dream world and that seems to be going very well. If anything that place will offer me some kind peace.



I went to the dentist today for oral surgery. Finally got that bad wisdom tooth and the one next to it yanked out. Doc seemed a little shocked that I desired to remain awake during the process. When I requested this he asked if I was afraid of needles. I laughed and told him no...only what was contained in them. He laughed and said that made more sense. After he removed it, he asked me about taking pain medicine. I refused. He laughed again and told me that I reminded him of his grandfather who would yank his own teeth out and say it was no big deal. Maybe I'm finally desensitized.



When my mind gets still, I find myself wondering back to an old dream. I am in a huge house and it is being completely rennovated. The only thing I am upset about is the piano that was being removed from the house. I assume this is from my past. My father was a musician and when I was around 13 we ended up with a 110 year old upright grand piano. Then we lost our home. Sold everything for 200 bucks and moved into a friends place until we could make ends meet. I remember swearing to my mother that when I finally had my own house that I would have a piano, even it it meant sleeping on the floor.

What I learned to play I taught myself by ear. The Piano and the Cello speak the language of my soul I think and it moves me in a way that no words can describe.

12 years later I finally managed out of my own apartments in to a little house and got a call from a woman who operated a graveyard. She told me that she wanted to give me a piano.

It was a 100 year old upright that someone had attempted to restore and then two days later a man showed up to my house, tuned the piano, replaced the keys and then left and never asked to be paid....

Unfortunately, six months later my husband recieved orders to moved to where we are now and I could not move it. Cried myself to sleep that night thinking I would have to abandon another one.

I got a phone call from a woman before the end of the next day who had four little girls and had always wanted to teach them how to play. I was so happy to see it go to a place it would be loved that I cried again.

When I moved into the first apartment in this new city I was delighted to find piano music drifting through the walls late one night. I woke thinking I was dreaming. I sat on the stair case and listened. Two twin brothers had moved in next door and Adam was a composer. It was his music I was hearing through the walls.

No matter where I go the beautiful sound of strings play in my heart. Guess I'm feeling a little sentimental today.

-Fin.

Dream Journal May 15, 2012 and Dreamwalk notes
17:38 May 15 2012
Times Read: 382

Sib is my new dream walk target. I talked to her last night. She is going to head down here at the end of the month so we can work on a few things. She and I have been friends for years but we are going to get together and decide on the dream's format. I guess it is more than a dream we are trying. The first few nights are just going to be doing the dream walking. If successful she and I plan to construct a dream scene to meet at long distances. In previous experiments I proved to myself that physical distance doesn't really factor into the success of the dreamwalk (Rolandas Linked journal ref.) but the connection to the person does.



My dreams last night involved me driving a car. It was dark and I was having trouble seeing. I veered off the road but managed to get back onto it. The second time there was almost an accident as somthing moving across the road scared me but the third time I went completely over a levee and into a river. The last thing I recall is feeling relieved that the window on the car was down and I took a breath as the car went front first into the water.



Not sure the dreaming is going to be good for the hypertension lol but I guess we will find out on that note too.



-Fin.

Event Records May 14 2012
03:55 May 15 2012
Times Read: 383

The doctor has had me resting up the past few days. Apparently, my stress levels are too high resulting in hypertension. I've been passing the time researching dream lore and spell craft related to dreaming as well.

I found myself waking up standing in my living room last night. At this point I'm not sure if I was physically up or it was another projection episode. The last thing I recall was turning off my computer and the lights. About 30 minutes into sleep I woke up crying again. I lay in bed for a moment and fell back to sleep. My next memory is waking up in the living room. I don't have a clue what I was doing there but the most interesting thing to note is that I don't actually recall going back to bed.

My alarm went off at 6:15am and suddenly I was waking up in bed again. I have a feeling this is going to get a lot more interesting.

I find recording these things here is a lot faster than my nostalgic tendency to record them in leather bound books. Still give it a few months and I'll be filtering through these online journals and writing them in a book. Old habits die hard.

16:09 May 12 2012
Times Read: 387

I dreamt last night of a man with long black hair. There were five of us. The woman to my left had a orangish, short spikey hair and was about 5'6, fair skinned and skinny. One image I recall is looking over my left as well all stood in some kind of ritual circle. The man was entirely in red. He walked over and kissed me for some reason.

I was somewhat aware as I shifted in and out of lucidity but I used this to simply note details in the dream. I didn't really intend to enter the state went I laid down. When I first went to bed I would fall asleep for an hour and wake up. I did this off and on until around 11pm and was up laying in bed for another 30 minutes or so and not feeling so well.

I'm feeling better this morning but my chest still feels like someone is pressing on it. Now, I'm going to go shopping for groceries and have a good day with my little one. Fin for now.

No Dreamwalk Just Rest and Routine
14:49 May 11 2012
Times Read: 388

Nothing like a good nights sleep. I think as soon as I hit my pillow last night I was out. I didn't attempt to dreamwalk or think about the process in the least but I'll be picking that up this evening again. I did dream about my little girl a lot and the things we do through the day but that is just one of those "my mind is processing what I've done" dreams.

Today I'm off to the doctor. I have to let her know about my upcoming travel plans and all that good stuff before being gone who knows how long.

For now I'm off to the daily disciplines of meditation, work-out and shower before hopping in the car and doing what must be done but I'd better take the dog out or his yorkie yapping is going to drive me bonkers.



Fin.

Dream Walking Night 4
15:14 May 10 2012
Times Read: 392

I could title this Day 5. I didn't sleep at all until nearly 3 am. Surprisingly with only a few hours of sleep I feel more energetic than I have lately. Upon waking I immediately recall my several of my dreams and scribbled them down while leaning lazily over my table that sits to the right of my bed side. I tend to recall the images in reverse. The last thing I recalled was a screaming woman who was distraught over the loss of someone but I quickly let that pass and will consider it later. Before that I watched a young woman lose her brother to a battle. This dream provoked intense emotion out of me which explains why my face was all wet and my chest ached when I woke up. The latter dream is a familiar theme occuring in dreams off and on since I was a child. When I first slipped into the between state I was able to stay in my "inner temple" but my lucidity shifted away and I found myself hopping into the dreams I describe.

I'm not sure if it will have any impact but I'm going to greatly increase my exercise routine from 3 to 6 days a week and removed any heavy foods to see if I can divert some of my body's energy sources to these workings.



The dog is passed out. The kid is at school and now I have things "domestic wonders" to get completed before 3pm.



-Fin.

Dream Walking Night 3 and Bellenger's Book Familiar
14:43 May 09 2012
Times Read: 399

A friend from my old town gave me a book called Psychic dreamwalking by Michelle Belanger. I've finally decided to pick it up after these last few days of experimenting. Just started reading it yesterday and I'm more than half way through. If I were rating the book I'd call it a 10 on the fact alone that it seems to correspond with some of my own experiences to the point of hauntingly familiar.



My exhaustion seems to just overcome me right after I ground and center at night so I'm thinking about trying a few of my attempts during the afternoon around 1:00-1:45 which gives me about 15 minutes to work through my process and then shift to dreamwalking.



The book mentions a kind of inner temple of dreams that can work as a kind of jump point for dreamwalking. As it turns out I already have one of these but I'm going to spend the rest of this week refining a few details and really focusing on shifting in and out of it more fluidly.



Bellenger describes in the book about a friend she did staring contests with that was able to see this inner temple through the eyes. I had an amazingly similar incident but I only worked with the woman. She and I were having lunch and talking one day. I looked down at my food and back up to her face and she had a puzzled look. She asked why she kept seeing a feild in my eyes. She proceeded to not only describe the place but the way I looked in it.



She also mentions building a gate. One was presented to me years ago in the form of a bridge and sometimes a tree. Although they go to different places.



I am grateful and fortunate enough to have a lot of time on my hands currently to be able to experiment with all of this. On my list for this weekend I'm planning to review all my dream journals (holy crap its a lot... like 12 300 page journals) and complile a list of repeating themes, symbols etc. That may give me a better idea where to focus in the dream scape for now.



Looking forward to Day 4 but I have day walker things to do first. -Fin.

To-Do List out Other stuff in
04:47 May 09 2012
Times Read: 402

Today I got up feeling motivted to get every last thing completed on my to-do list...which means nothing got done. After recording my dreams this morning I was suppose to head strait to the gym. I spent too much time with breakfast and minor house chores and ended up choosing to mail important packages. While on my way to the post office, Bit, a friend of mine called me. She was bored and wanted to try out the new yoga classes and she wanted me to come along with her. I checked my watch wondering about the time again and how quickly it passes before consenting to go. She was half an hour late as usual which drives me nuts but it worked out.



Two detectives showed up to talk to me. Looks like I'm headed to make official statements and all that good stuff later this week. Hopefully on Thursday morning. The suits almost missed me but I managed to catch them on the way back to my apartment. Seems I have more information than they realized and they couldn't keep up with a pen. Nothing like playing the devil's advocate. Still, it was all for a good cause and the woman is safe so whatever.



My partner caught wind. I refused to let him be implicated in the mess so I told him as little as possible. When the suits asked me about how much he knew I can't say I was very shy about letting them know that I'd intentionally kept most of it from him. Afterall, if he knew I was doing something that dangerous he would worry and I couldn't have that. He has enough to worry about.



He knows now. Naturally, the initial reaction was to ask if I was out of my mind but then he laughed, sighed and commented that he expected no less. Now he insists that I learn to use a gun. I really like my taser and its not so loud but in this case for his peace of mind I'll do it.



The day ended with a friend bringing over her kids so that mine had some playmates while we talked over a few things and had dinner. The plan was to hit the pool as well but a cold front moved in and its only 52 degrees out so that was crossed out. The night is lovely though and the air smells of earth and rain. I'll pick up the to-do list tomorrow.

Calls to Make and Dreamwalk Night 2
16:10 May 08 2012
Times Read: 407

I was awake by 6am this morning. My dreams were of a rather disturbing nature but I've had this before while interrupting my sleep patterns. I made it more than half way throughe the process and retained most of my consciousness but lost the target in the let go part.

Ri told me it was fine that I focus on her for the dreamwalking for a while since we have the most consistent contact at least until my partner returns from overseas.

Ebit had messaged me this morning. She asked me if I had heard from the guys; said she was worried because of her nightmare.

It gives me enough reason to attempt to dreamwalk my partner but the last time I managed to scare the complete crap out of him as he wasn't asleep. This completely threw me. I somehow managed to use the dreamscape to enter into some aspect of the physical. He never saw me however only heard me.

Looks like I have some calls to make.

Night #1 Epic Fail
14:34 May 07 2012
Times Read: 415

I blacked out again. Damn. Its difficult not to completely give in to what I've now termed the deep which is a complete loss of consciouness. This state has become a blessing when my mind and body need complete rest and the loudest noises don't disturb me at all when I'm in that state (compliments of a friend of mine who was willing to make noise.) I can liken it to having the chemicals that put you to sleep on the operating table. In that state, I don't think, dream, or remember anything nor to I have awareness of myself. I found it rather frightening in the beginning.



I've laid out a kind of blue print based on my dream records and experiments for the last ten years or so. Mostly, I've just let things happen over the years to see where these inner talents will take me. To say the least, I've been lead down more than one interesting road but now I'm seeking to have full conscious awareness and control in the matter of my dreamwalking or in rare cases leaving my body all together.



I'm not quite ready to post my entire process until I have the results of my working. Last night I attempted the format but the last thing I recall was cycling my personal energy. I managed the cycle three times and pulled my focus inward. Night #1 was an epic fail, the Black consumed me and I was more than willing to be wrapped up in it lastnight.



Ah, tomorrow is another night and I'm looking forward to it.

Moving Back to Move Forward
01:14 May 07 2012
Times Read: 420

Well, apparently sitting in the sun for five hours can exhaust you but the pool was nice. It's a pity it closes so early, maybe I can bribe the guards. Bring on the night. Until then, I managed a quick dinner with chocolate and strawberries for dessert. The mop headed dog is staring at me from across the room. He doesn't like strawberries anyways.

I'm restless. Been pacing a lot. I've decided that I will pack my things. A train leaves in a few weeks so I might as well decide what I'm taking with me. No doubt that my computer will be first on the list. Writing, journaling, keeping records of anything has been all there is to keep me sane for several years now. Well, that or cleaning and throwing myself into whatever project comes my way but all of it is distraction and at least the writing forces me to read it all instead of ignoring it.

Spring is past and the Earth is full in bloom once again but i prepare for my next journey into the underworld. I suppose I am not the only fool that has believed for a moment that I could run from my past. Now I have to face it and process through this metamorphosis less I am trapped in this damned cocoon forever. I use to be afraid of what I would become and now making it through victorious has become my only focus.

Finally up and moving
20:14 May 06 2012
Times Read: 424

I am not accustomed to so many limitations on a website. How annoying. In the meantime I am going to the pool. It passes the time well in such a hot place. The day has passed well so far although I slept into the afternoon obviously. The plans today are to clean up the house, practice a bit of dancing, go to the pool, talk to a neighbor about her late night fiasco and then prepare for a glorious Monday....right...

Masked Man Asks for Help
07:44 May 06 2012
Times Read: 431

I've been a dreamwalker for as long as I can remember but being dreamwalked is a nice taste of my own medicine. When I see repetition it makes my conscious retain its lucidity easier.

Recently while reviewing my sound recordings of my dreams I realized that the same character has been showing up over and over again. Mostly he has been in the background watching me. I was not sure why he would choose to enter my dream scape instead of his but by the time the fourth dream rolled around he was no longer intent to simply watched me. I initially recoiled in fear wondering what he might try to do. His faced was covered in a plain white mask and the rest of him covered in black. I was able to see the mask up close and personal when he came at me. His voice was all around me as I looked into his eyes he spoke to me: "Please! Help me!"

I woke gasping and hearing myself asking how....

Still I ponder the mask and I know he will return to me again.

Wake Up Councilor
07:18 May 06 2012
Times Read: 433

The terminology and the message meant nothing to me at that time. I debated on whether I should go to college and study psychology to help people after hearing it but under the circumstances I wrote it off.

It was a year after a very frightening experience in my life. I kept running the scene over and over in my mind. He grabbed my shoulder and I could feel my will power struggling from the inside out and I knew I would lose to the pull. Still, I could feel his fear too. I heard what he called himself in my head but we never spoke of it out loud.

One year later and my body was a total wreck. Energy workers kept coming to try and "fix" me. They kept pulling the pain out of my body over and over again. I lay there on the floor one such night while Nightstar and Phoenix worked the poison out of my system when we all heard a voice very loudly say: "Wake up Councilor". I didn't know what it meant but now I am beginning to understand.

Here I am again three years later and still running but now I'm too tired to run. Whatever forces of awakening are behind this are relentless. I know not but to yeild to them.

So I've begun my research, my seeking, to better understand this nature that I am awakening to.