The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Usually my aunt and mom go down to the gas station to get water. But this time I went with my mom, I was wearing uh..its like this cloth type of thing I got from the new age shop, Im pretty sure someone said something and the manager came out and said we can't take any water down there no more. Cuz its a outside utility anyway but some of the employees let us do it before. But I guess cuz I was down there someone must of said something and told the manager about it. Then when we were walking home I looked back and the manager and some other guy was standing with her, I knew they were talking about us! Mom was really upset as I could actually feel her emotions. She said that she would go down to walmart and get the water there but I knew she felt bad about it and never in such a way have I ever felt so connected to her like I did in those moments coming back home... I felt her hurts and some thoughts. After she left the house the feelings let up a small bit. I think its cuz she became out of range but I suppose thats okay.





Feeling others emotions can be a curse but also a blessing. Mainly a blessing because you can connect to those that hurt and understand their pain. To know the true them inside their heads of mental conciousness I think is a great gift!

At this point I am researching some things upon nocturnal witchcraft which I have found useful. Its just that at where I am it feels as if I should stay in the dark for a little while, not communing with those that do not do magic. To stay away from those who are mundane. I think this is because I am going through a transformation of which that is required to be alone and only those who do magic can understand it so I look to them for comfort maybe.



I slept an entire day yet to still be tired...I don't even know why. It just feels like I should sleep and slip away into that eternal void of dream land.

Me and mom got into a huge fight about how your not supposed to put soap on a turtle. Its happened before. Then she tries to push the responsibilty off on me. Then mom and dad say both that if the turtle isn't dead yet then it isn't hurting her. Then I said like: "well how would you like it if someone put soap in your eyes! I bet it would hurt now wouldn't it!" They didn't say anything. Then mom was still going on about crap...so I had to say all the things she was doing wrong to me because she was verbally abusing me.



She said if I didn't stop then she was gonna hit me.



I felt like crying and I told her: "This upsets me. You wonder why I don't want to spend any time with you!" She started yelling....



I don't feel very good right now, I just wanna break down and cry. T_T

Forces have gathered and aknowlaged me about my path. One that is very interesting. As it seems I may go through a series of tests advised by the divine them selves. These tests unknown to my knowlage and as such will be provided when needed. 3 years of these...at least from which I have been told. Though I do not believe them to be harmful, but they may have emotion within them. Meeting new people and the lot, teaching them, them teaching me. Learning a new way of magic..practicing it possibly openly. Gathering new items, using those items and the old. Transfering knowlage to others, siblings, friends. Healing the animals and humans. Guiding others. And most of all...finding my self.



A new journey has begun!

Words whisper through my ears like a far off dream. They say "intake, intake" They continue to say this while I travel home from a relitives..though it felt there as if some sort of invisible presence existed. The dog barking for no reason down in her basement...I go down to see what she is barking at. I find her in a corner barking at literally nothing, at least nothing seen by my physical eyes. I hear whispers and some sort of movement... The whispers hard to make out, not even sure if they were actual english words but something was deffinatly trying to speak.



My aunts excuse to far to her knowlage was that her little dog went down to the basement everyday at different times just to bark at the wall. But for what purpose is this? I asked her if it was the same time, she said no but randomly. I had a suspition that maybe it could be a ghost or perhaps some spiritual energy left behind by the dead. I was still not sure when I left the house what it was.





The dogs next door not barking at all when we walked out as I was told they usually do. They stared at me with this...like "look at that..its one of them" type of stare. But I often wonder if animals truly see the power I possess...or if its my actual spiritual self, or maybe my aura?



On the way home is when I kept thinking "intake" It just kept repeating its self. I sat there wondering what it meant the entire time, almost passing out because I was extremely tired. When I got home I slept for several hours up until 5:30 in the morning.

I'v been getting urges! Magical ones! It feels like I am supposed to practice more into my magical studies. It also feels as if I am being drawn towards something. I keep getting visions of quartz crystals! I feel something is about to happen in my life concerning magic. Soon I hope the answer will reveal its self!

I was thinking about trying to meditate to see if I could commune with my inner self so I could keep in touch with my powers.All of a sudden I went into a trance and saw this glowing white figure in this black void of darkness. I just stood there looking at it...some how it seemed as if I knew it. After a while the dark angel showed up (the one I met in several previous visions) He stood there looking at me from the side, not saying a word but moving his head up just a bit signaling me to go to this mysterious creature that was glowing white. It wore robes so big, it covered his shoulders making them look extremely broad. Behind the "guy" was a brillant light. I walked up to "him" and took "his" hand. Then we walked through the light and all I remember was it standing there in this large void of light! It just stood there...like it was waiting and I felt this surge of some sort, kinda like when you feel energy and power. Then I came out of the vision wondering what would of happened next.

Sometimes...the most hardest thing in the world is realizing your best friend hurts you more then anyone else because of what they say to you. Not bad things, just things about how they love someone. It hurts because of the fact you used to love them and now your not supposed to anymore. The most hardest thing in the world is walking away from that friend. The most difficult task anyone could ever face...is walking away from the friend you held so dear.

I was at the trailor I used to live when we decided we wanted to go somewhere. The only way to go was to fly. I got outside and started running. We ended up on this flying building this just up above Pacific beach. There were many people up there walking around. At one point the floor stopped and you had to jump down in order to move on. The floor was wet for some reason. I got out of there went down the stares while actually gliding down... Then met some people and then thats all I can remember from that part





In another part we were in a flooded city. We had been trapped by some guy and we escaped from him. We had to find our way out of there because we couldn't fly while in between the buildings or in the water. I don't remember what happened there either.





I think thats pretty much it...it was weird. o.O

Its like everytime I get away from these overwelming feelings they return with no simple explaination! Is it because I still love...why...why do I feel this way!!!! IT TEARS ME UP INSIDE!!!!



I am empty with emotions...I hardly feel anything anymore. Not even happiness. I feel...nothing.... Yet this nagging feeling of hurt just won't go away!!!!!!!!!!!





The real truth behind alot of it is because I still love him. Because I still want to be with him. But I also wish he wasn't with her. Yet...I continue to help them be together! WTF IS WRONG WITH ME!!! T_T I guess I just care so much for both of them because their my friends, but when I go back to me when its all over with their fights I still suffer and I helped them get back together. I guess I do it out of love...but it still hurts. v.v