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2 entries this month
The Undying Lands Died Before00:57 Apr 23 2008
Times Read: 637
In my soul I seek refuge but find none
Lost in a world that's never done
Paint it in color, paint it high
So many ways yet none fly
Some fearful of what comes next
Reading their belief's text
How weak I see them to be
No weakness can I have in me
Throw away my unused shadow
To only be up a creek without a paddle
Never making plans in this desolate land
Spontanious contradictions fallen time's sand
No regrets on foolish bets
No remorse on a small force
Crushing of bones til all is done
Blood spills upon window sills
Open doors are no more
The undying lands have died before
As all withers & fades away
Waiting on my dying day
Death rejected too many times already
Fake fear yet I am calm & steady
When will I do the one thing that will kill me
I patiently await my return to the sea
The undying lands have died before
Yet I stand here to live life more
Ex-Teenage Drama Queen
00:56 Apr 23 2008
Times Read: 637
As I sit alone time flies by my head
Alone in ways that many will never understand
An outcast my entire life has hardened my heart
I guess I learned early on how the pain is when it's ripped apart
Lust & desire are all a false power
It turns on you & you simply cower
I never wanted to live my life that way
I wanted a different world in which to play
I wanted to be both forgotten & noticed at once
Trials & tribulations at times left me a dunce
Not always knowing what was my future
And never caring of whom I left behind in torture
I ripped out hearts & devoured souls for fun
However in the end of my masquerade I was alone
Dropping my wall a bit lower I allowed emotion to shine
I was your average teenage drama queen, the chosen, the divine
Scars I let my heart & soul obtain as I placed a smile upon my face
There was no way I would once again take disgrace
A puppet master over many who gladly wanted such
Never knowing what I desired so much
Spent my life in a fast pace pain numbing daze
Not once stopping to fix my tearful haze
When I stayed home, I usually lost in my thoughts
I never knew figuring out my future wasn't taught
I stayed away from time alone
Out of that tortured zone
The older I grew the more things were clear
It was leaving that life I held in such fear
How easy it was to just let the happenings leave me
I could of been anything but I was a teenage drama queen
Looking back I wish someone knocked me out of my throne
But I can't go back and everything has been set in stone
Perhaps I still have part of that teenage me inside
And I don't want to face it for in shame I hide
I may not be proud of everything I've done back then
Yet it is made me who I am, a person surrounded by sin
Repent them away people say but there is no help for me
I pay my dues time & time again, me the nightmare I see
Forsaken by that which I gave away for such foolish things
Now at times I miss the world that revolved around me again
How does one make things go right when everything fails to be
My eyes opened wide, however things too blury to see
I hate the sunlight for it shows the true me, so I kept to the night
Angered by things I couldn't stop, because I'm so used to being right
The world just one big playground, I swirl about
Lost inside where no one can here me shout
"I don't want to be left alone"
But that time has passed & its gone
A tortured soul screaming deep inside
Yet a perfectly happy person I show outside
I left my teens 10+ years ago
Without much to really show
Looking for that time that flew by
Knowing its passed & inside I die
All because I used to be a teenage drama queen
Now I sit still on my throne but now I'm all alone
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