The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

hello everyone i havent updated any thing latly but i have a lot going on but first of all its summer YAY!!!! happyfuly i will have a better time with friends then i did last year. wait....last year all i did was fucking watch babies...lol....that was tottaly no fun..... well hopefuly i will have fun fun fun all summer i cant wait to see my baby (khris) over the summer but he has a job and its no fun when he is no where around -pouts- well my friend sarah is having a hard time with this one guy who was in our class before school got out and he is SLD he is 17 and cant read but knows everything bout computers and legally he cnat get a job but he is realy intelleget he is ALOT smarter than me and i am not really smart so its easy to be smarter than me lol the only person my friend sarah talks to bout him is me and i feel like a fucking theripst telling her what the fuck to do lol but she is cool and i love her lika siater and all but back to her and her problem with him she took him to the libary and what she was thinking i have no idea she takes a guy who cant read to the damn libary WTF was she thinks i could of told her right then that it was going to go badly but it did anyways she LOVES to read she enjoys it so much it makes me sick i hate to read also but will.....well ill tell you later buh bye

i am having a REALY bad day and feel like shit and like crying.....wait.....to late i am i swear i am going to lose khris soon and i have no idea what to do everytime in my pitfull life i get close to anyone they end up leaving me or dieing on me so now when i get too close to anyone i start being mean and pushing them away i dont know what to do any more i just feel like dieing and getting it over with already i know i could treat everyone better and all but its just how i feel i cant do this any more i love khris too much to lose him and to much that my mind is making me push him away i know he is going to leave me but i have absolutly NO idea what the fuck to do i feel as if i am dieing slowly and there is nothing i can do to stop or speed up the process i hate who i am and what i have become i have lost so much in my life and the one thing i am terrified of loseing i am pushing him away if only god would stop torturing me and leave me and khris the hell alone and let me live happily with him i would be just fine but apearently thats way too much to ask for i cant stand this pain and to think i am telling this all to you when i am sure you couldnt care less about but that okay i understand how should care about a bitch like me i just want some one to know that if i lose khris NOONE and i mean NOONE will ever see me again i will die before i could live one moment with out him no one understands me anymore and i cuz no one will if i lose khris im tho with life FOREVER!!! god i cant stop crying i cant even see the comp screen nemore so i am going to leave you alone now k? sry if i bored you or upset you in any way i just dont know what the fuck to do. buh bye