I don't know if it's the time of year, or what, or just old age creeping in, but I am very blue right now. As in depressed.
Everything feels like such an effort, and I don't really want to do anything anymore. Even sleeping doesn't help. I ache all over and cry a lot.
If I was a bear I could hibernate. I just hate being like this. And nothing helps.
I don't know what to do.
I suppose I should update this more frequently than I do. It's just that there is not a whole lot to update about.
I am not very fond of constant changes and upheavals in my life. I like an ordered existance. My boss keeps telling me that's not good. Well, some people like constant changes I suppose, keeps them on their toes. Not I. Call me an old fart if you will, but I like to know that what I am doing Wednesday is the same thing I will be doing next Wednesday and so on.
And the more I play on the internet the more I am convinced there is no real love to be found. I have it stated in CAPITAL LETTERS on my yahoo profile that if you are married, attached or involved in ANY WAY...DO NOT MESSAGE ME. Period. yet when I go into my regular chat room all these married, or otherwise attached men message me. I suppose because my chat nic is interesting to them. I am ruthlessly weeding out all these people, I no longer add to messenger so they needn't ask. The single ones who do crop up want "instant relationship"...two messages and they start to cyber. Sheesh!
I usually end up going off to read a book. Which is probably what I should have done in the first place.
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