The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

----- are conversations





my mom called my dad "do this hand"

she meant nail polish

and hes like "no i dont want to"

and im like

"go ahead dad, you have alot of experience with doing hands"

then hes like

"dont think i cant hear you at night"

and i shutted up :(





Mike Sweetser walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of tequila. The bartender asks, "Why so many buddy?" Sweetser replies, "I'm celebrating my first blow job". The bartender says, "Well hell, congratulations, I will give you one on the house for free." Sweetser says, "No thank you, if the first 6 shots don't get the taste out of my mouth one more won't make a difference."





Oh, wow. Old school papers.

This one was on 'alternative energy sources'. This is from near the end, when I was really too tired to be writing:

"Wind energy is a method of collecting power from the blowing of the wind. Not only is this a clean and renewable energy source, but it can actually displace excess Carbon Dioxide in an area. Problems behind wind energy also exist. It is not available in many areas, and requires a lot of money to build. The wind turbines can also interfere with television and radio signals and cause noise pollution. Also, birds can fly into the rotors."

"Then they have to send the janitor Steve out to clean the thing, and it just ruins his day. Then he goes home and beats his kids. So if you support wind energy, you support domestic violence."

That's when you know you're tired.

That is awesome.





An officer in the U.S. Naval Reserve was attending a conference that included admirals from both the U.S. Navy and the French Navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies.

The French Admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English. He then asked, "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you speak French?"

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: "Maybe it is because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you would not have to speak German." The group became silent.





Every girl who has ever been attracted to me is a vegetarian!

Try to explain that!

-- you have no meat

--- hehe

hmmm

fuck

I did not see that coming

Last time I tell that story!





* terra melts JDigital

* JDigital melts

* JDigital respawns, and is quickly telefragged by a newbie





beep boop beep boop beep beep boop

thats right r2 we're going to cloud city





woot, the hot checkout girl at the market was checking me out again today

---- of course she was checking you out, you were in the fucking supermarket line!





The EX in NeoEX stands for Extra XtremeAnalPenetration.

----- It's funny cause it's true.





i brought a dvd for a teacher

huzzah!

and i have 2 differnt things named EVA on it

iatneh and regular

.... lol

:( i was supposed to bring the regular

but i brought the iatneh on accident

----PRON?

It was about to start on the projector

but then i saw the label on the dvd

---omfg

---- IT WAS PR0n?!?!

and jumped over and pressed eject before it could start

---YES

--LOLOL

--- ROFLMAO

ALMOST PROJECTED ON A HUGE FUCKING SCREEN

---NEET

---OMG

i almost had a heart attack