Cadamia's Vampire Journal

Cadamia's Journal

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5 entries this month

Mar 2005 →

Tragedy in and Hour Glass
22:10 Feb 25 2005
Times Read: 785

There once was a great lady and her lord, they cared for all and rejected none.

The great lady, we will call Cadamia, was a mother of two fine girls, who like her had a heart of gold. Her lord, whom we will call, Jerard, was a fierce warrior, who protected everyone he loved and cared for dilligently.

The day came when this noble family decided to go for a swim and a picnic at a nearby river. It was an over cast day but no real weather to speak of. The river seemed calm, so there was no warning of the tragedy to come. They had taken their dogs, because the dogs didn't get out much to just run and play.

The girls, Lenore and Beverly, had gone further across the river than they usually did and were having a fabulous time playing and swimming.

Suddenly their cocker spaniel began to behave as tho she were having trouble in the water. Being vallient of heart, Lenore went to her rescue only to find there was a steep drop off directly in front of her. Her sister Beverly screamed to Cadamia to help. She tried to reach her beloved child only to be hampered by a stiff current.

So she yelled to Jerard and he went running in. After much effort on boths behalf for about 5 minutes, Jerard went under and was never seen again.

At this time a stranger, who we will call Mr. Bush also ran into the water and after what seemed like an eternity, but was most likely only 3 minutes, he also went down.

Cadamia, realising she was the only hope for Lenore, did finally manage to bring herself and her child to shore.

Lenore was only in the hospital for 3 days but her lungs are not all they should be. Cadamia resisted treatment and perhaps that is why her lungs are weak as well. The little family or what is left of it, struggles on in his memory but has never had a lack for love and respect within their threefold circle.

Keep in mind that tho the story is real, the names are not. Jerard drowned the night of

August 6, 2002. On August 10, Cadamia was planning his funeral and turning 36. He was burried on the 13th and the chappel where the service was help was packed with friends and co worker, we never knew how many people, aside from us, he had touched in such a profound way.

Til we meet again my one true love, I will hold you in my heart. Safe from pain, safe from harm. Rest on, sweet prince, rest on.

COMMENTS

a new revelation
04:15 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 791

As life unfolds before me in all it's many layers, I have begun to realise that even in my fear and confusion, I have a place that is uniquely my own and that in that place I fill a need that only I can fill.

The people that I meet, either as mere acquaintance or as those I am to spend real time with, are there for a reason as well. I am either to teach them or to learn from them. Either capacity is a good thing.

COMMENTS

real?
03:14 Feb 23 2005
Times Read: 797

there are times lately when I can't decide if what I see is real or just part of some world that my mind goes to when the cheese slides off it's cracker again. There is a feeling of panic and of a loss of control when doing every day things.

Driving a car, walking down the street, can life really slip and slide like that?

COMMENTS

A day at the web
11:44 Feb 15 2005
Times Read: 813

I have returned to my true self and have begun to look for others like myself. I have been quite alone for a long time and this no longer bodes well with my soul. I have given this great thought and have decided this should be the real section of this journal. As I have said I am not a loner by nature and being alone is not something I truly enjoy.

As far as returning to my true self, that referrs to the fact that I have spent along time trying to appease others and doing things that make them happy, while losing who I am to what they want and in the process becoming smaller and of less consequence in my own mind. I do not seek to be egotistical but to be relevant. Not to be bigger than life but to have a life that I can call my own, that I can be proud of and that I can breathe in.

If I feel the need to color my hair like a rainbow, I now give myself the freedom to do so. As long as it doesn't require me to harm or neglect the people who are directly in my life and therefor given to be to be an influence on. If I step out of line either in real life or on the net amoungst those I am in contact with, I can only ask that it be brought to my attention as gently as possible. This way I can be open to make ammends. We are all prone to mistakes, we should give room to each other and ourselves for that. Peace be to you as you roam the recess of my mind. May you find that which enlightens, connects and comforts you when you need it. Farewell, dear visitor.

COMMENTS

A day at the web
11:44 Feb 15 2005
Times Read: 803

I have returned to my true self and have begun to look for others like myself. I have been quite alone for a long time and this no longer bodes well with my soul. Well soul not being the right word but can't think of a better one.

There was much that happened before my embrace but not much I remember.

There has been much sense.. only time will tell if I can make sense of any of it. I will however need to keep my thoughts straight if I am ever to complete my mission of bringing revenge to my husbands death.. may he rest till I meet him again.

COMMENTS

Mar 2005 →

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