Tragedy in and Hour Glass
22:10 Feb 25 2005
Times Read: 785
a new revelation
04:15 Feb 24 2005
Times Read: 791
As life unfolds before me in all it's many layers, I have begun to realise that even in my fear and confusion, I have a place that is uniquely my own and that in that place I fill a need that only I can fill.
The people that I meet, either as mere acquaintance or as those I am to spend real time with, are there for a reason as well. I am either to teach them or to learn from them. Either capacity is a good thing.
real?
03:14 Feb 23 2005
Times Read: 797
there are times lately when I can't decide if what I see is real or just part of some world that my mind goes to when the cheese slides off it's cracker again. There is a feeling of panic and of a loss of control when doing every day things.
Driving a car, walking down the street, can life really slip and slide like that?
A day at the web
11:44 Feb 15 2005
Times Read: 813
I have returned to my true self and have begun to look for others like myself. I have been quite alone for a long time and this no longer bodes well with my soul. I have given this great thought and have decided this should be the real section of this journal. As I have said I am not a loner by nature and being alone is not something I truly enjoy.
As far as returning to my true self, that referrs to the fact that I have spent along time trying to appease others and doing things that make them happy, while losing who I am to what they want and in the process becoming smaller and of less consequence in my own mind. I do not seek to be egotistical but to be relevant. Not to be bigger than life but to have a life that I can call my own, that I can be proud of and that I can breathe in.
If I feel the need to color my hair like a rainbow, I now give myself the freedom to do so. As long as it doesn't require me to harm or neglect the people who are directly in my life and therefor given to be to be an influence on. If I step out of line either in real life or on the net amoungst those I am in contact with, I can only ask that it be brought to my attention as gently as possible. This way I can be open to make ammends. We are all prone to mistakes, we should give room to each other and ourselves for that. Peace be to you as you roam the recess of my mind. May you find that which enlightens, connects and comforts you when you need it. Farewell, dear visitor.
A day at the web
11:44 Feb 15 2005
Times Read: 803
I have returned to my true self and have begun to look for others like myself. I have been quite alone for a long time and this no longer bodes well with my soul. Well soul not being the right word but can't think of a better one.
There was much that happened before my embrace but not much I remember.
There has been much sense.. only time will tell if I can make sense of any of it. I will however need to keep my thoughts straight if I am ever to complete my mission of bringing revenge to my husbands death.. may he rest till I meet him again.
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