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i wnat to cut your blood from my viens,

rip the flesh that holds particles of your

D

N

A.

the hate of you,

the love i am ablidged to bear.

i just want to belong to

nothing.

i came from you,

9 months you held me within you,

i should tahnkyou for the life you gave me,

but i hate you for giving me life!

i cant die

im not living.

i love you mum,

but i hate you.

Somedays,

I look into the mirror and I don’t see

Anything

Worth looking at.

Its dark and empty with nothing

But cracking dreams

That super glue wont fix.

I scream!

But it falls on deaf ears that crumble.

I am understood by the flicker of the light,

Or the echo of a tear,

But not by flesh,

Not by blood.

Suck me dry and I will feel no different,

I need

Something

From

Nothing.

Breathe…….

Names.

What do they really mean?

I love his name.

The feel pulsing over my tongue

Rippling over my voice box

Caressing my lips,

Every letter there because

It dares me

To love.

But that name has left me a shell,

There is nothing in this fame,

I am empty.

Without reason,

Without soul,

Empty.

No longer able to breathe

That name in,

It’s no longer a name

That rules my incompetent being,

It cannot hold me

In a warmth of serenity,

Cannot cradle my fears

Away into the night,

It is gone.

I'm abandoned into the cold,

Deprived from the sky,

Drenched into nothingness.

His name will not form to quench

The thirst of him

Into my dry mouth.

It comes as an empty sound,

Ringing as a scream inside my hollow head,

Echo’s of what once was

Are now an empty resonance

Of my lonely heart.

I will forever love his name.

What does it really mean?

Justin.

Times often turn,

Light and laughter can cease into rain.

Darkness floods in through all gaps and suffocates even the rain.

But darkness breathes because light lives,

Light is strength as darkness is corruption.

Darkness will endeavour to travel

Only because light will follow.

Light will wash over all dark

And darkness will lurk around you no more.

Watch for the light,

It will come without fail.

Breathe.

It’s hard sometimes

To walk away

When I hear you

Scream

So loud.

And I want to fight

Both battles

But I’ve got to

Walk

Away.

You don’t want

Anything

I could give,

Help unwanted.

Secretly

You know

I do care.

You’ll be fine

As will I

After all this

Pain

Ends.

Knowing not what tomorrow

May bring,

These steps I take

May crumble and fall

But

Wings may grow

And take flight upon all things.

And I want to find

Emancipation

Somehow.

I do not know how to move

Past this.

I can see

Nothing but

Fear

And

Pain.

I hope light shines

2wice.

Like the bath water

That is drained

After all the demons of our unclean souls

Have been scrubbed away,



I am unwanted.



The hot water filled with new innocence

Is plummeted, defiantly into

The wide open gape

Of the untamed tub,

The steam rising to fill the air

With faces unknown.



I once was that flow of want.



Cold water hurtles into the serenade,

Dispersing the reminisce of heated

Sanctuary,

Filling the cavern of seductive serenity

With fresh ice.

Knowing, without it, laughter and light

Will vanish.



I am the necessary curse.



Sinking into the compound

Of liquefying warmth,

Absorbing temptation,

Yearning for the cleansing of guilt.



That was them.



Tearing the plug from its

Satisfying connection of comfort,

Pulling the untouched

Into the tainted,

Ripping from the safety of contentment

Into the barriers of nothing,

Allowing the spoils of your dirt to empty.

That is what they did to me.



Like the bath water that is

Drained

After the demons of our unclean souls

Have been scrubbed away,



I am unwanted.

Always, unwanted.

You say my blood will stain your floor,

You say you hate me.

You say you want to kill me.

I am afraid.

This was never you,

You did not hold such puerile hatred in your heart.

You have thrown all you were away.

I do not know you.

I

Do

Not

Know

You.

I am afraid.

We are so horribly afraid.

Fear reeks throughout the air,

So strong, running will do nothing.

What are we so afraid of?

Because

I cannot breathe because

Of your

Fears.

Years changed, seasons too.

Gold turned to ice,

Sweetness transformed to bitterness,

Life turned into a death, all too soon.

Nothingness was filled with silence

Got too loud to bear.

All else drowned.



And he stood

On the rugged cliff

With nothing more to say

But

I love you.



She waved herself away,

Let her tears say all the words

Silence swallowed down.

Words would not escape the thoughts

That brewed behind her

Frozen crisp smile.

Life could not play fair.

Her golden butter cup hair

Drew itself to the stars

As it pined for something nothingness could give.

She smiled a quiet smile.

Although all of herself wrenched to protest

To turned away

Without a final goodbye.



And he stood

On the rugged cliff

With nothing more to say

But

I love you.



Wind rode on a steady horseback,

Swift and quiet and sorrowful,

It stole away the night

And took his heart afar into the depths.

The wishfulness within would not have the courage

To change anything.

Sparks held so brightly in his eye

Burned one last time

And

Faded.

Winter froze over his heart

Imprinted her face on his soul.

Steel grey eyes looked across the valley,

Wet with unformed words.



And he stood

On the rugged cliff

With nothing more to say

But

I love you.



And the house had no more life.

Cinnamon had once been infused with love

Now tasted bittersweet, wet, empty.

Warm cherry walls loomed over restless nights.

A single hair on the pillow,

All that was left behind

Along with a haunted past of a dream

And still

The silence

That chokes all else.



And he stood

On the rugged cliff

With nothing more to say

But

I love you.



Tears were no comfort,

They strung as the fell.

Screams would not break

The stillness locked within the air

That hung like

Cracked mirror.

Nothing would cease the

Rampaging madness of his

Still head.

Alone and silent, together and still,

Nothing was left

But to walk away.



No one stood

On a rugged hill,

Nothing more to say.

“But

I love you”

Is still heard in the wind,

And still she cries,

The silence too loud to hear anything else.

the chains you laced across me

dig deep into my soul,

my blood stains

the concrete,

a part of me cries for more!

prehaps i want to die...



your curse drills its way

into my scull,

maggots of your heat will fester, grow, die.



my wings are fire

that will not risse!

my oxygen is tera gas

that you inject into my veins.



black waters fill my lungs,

choke me from death

keep me from life.

i ma nothing,

i am a shadow,

i am your deformity.

Manipulatingh er way inside the skin,

injecting into the blood stream

the infussion of inspiration.

caressing the toubled mind

into a sate of sustained breath.

calm and awake,

opened into the devine.

safe now,

silience the scream,

lift your head,

drink the rain.

we hid behind

the hotle knives

of the pastic surgens

lieing eyes.

the beauty seen

of a magasine,

our inner selves

choke and die.

all our dreams

stuffed into a can of watties baked beans

seem to hold no decent memories.

its time to find

the peace of mind

to let our dreams be free.

to throw away tyhe cardbord chains

and listen to our souls.

innocence

now worth 50 cents,

sold to souls for name.

it seems to be

we use all these

to make our souls FEEL clean.



but

at the end of it all,

who's to blame?



your t.v Screens and magasines

filled with lies

and batting eyes

can only be, because you see,

and choose to play

the image game.

searching

for something

beyound control.

watching

sahdows moving

in the depth

of the dark.

feeling

hidden in broad

day light.

questioning

all that i

am.

there are dreams behind my

crying eyelids,

locked

so tightly

that i cannot

breethe.

in the mirror

ther are

shapes,

i do not understand.

there movvent so

obscure,

a refelection?

Black

and

white,

grey.

my eyes are wide open,

seaching, watching, feeling,

yet

i am blind to

everything.

There is a place

high on maddoc hill

wher they sit.



There are tounges they speak

deep into the night.

there are peole who fear them,

long into the valley.

there is no-one to love them here.

there are scars on thier souls,

wounds sour from this world,

there are blood stains on thier mind

from cages they are try to bend,

trying to be free from.

there are deams that are trapped

because we wont let them

seek freedom.

there is no hope in their faces,

only dieng dreams in thier eyes.



For me have listened not to our souls

for we have listened not to our hearts,

because we have listend to curruption.



There is a place

high on maddoc hill

where 4 graves lye.

once,

i could have looked at you and seen Blue.

now,

all i see is coffin red.

the stench of life that clings to you

you spread upon yourself

like old mens colonee.

"you are experinencing tubluance,

please,

hold tight,

cheeck your setbelt is on,

it will all be over soon.

everything will be just fine."

BANG!

i am experimenting with death.

touching it,

turning it,

seeing how it tastes.

yes, i am sick,

ill from emotion plagued within me,

ill from curpution that world has injected, like toxic, into me.

i have become a soul of darkness.

do you fear me?

or does my twisted appitite provote in you a want for more?

the taste is free,

toxins run thick,

lap it up.

enjoy,

my blood is yours,

i have no more use of it.

I want to go underground

where the wolves play

and the blood is fresh.

i want to find the jalliers den

and tast currptions doom.

i want to slip myself beenth my throat.

the

blood

pour

down.

catch me if you can.

And from the dark you came

wispering light into my depth.

i was afraid to touch

that which seemed so pure...

but i was the one left tainted by your "light."

you took my heart and left me a shell.

now wander into the darkness

that lies behind the tempest of my

cold grey eyes.

i am empty.

and my blood runs black.