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Mommy Has A New IPOD NANO!!!



Since My Shuffle Died On Me A Few Months Ago...



I Got My Bonus And Got A New Nano!!

We Had The Most Amazing Time Saturday Night And You Blow Me Off Saturday After Our Drinks To Go Get Fucked Up With Your Male Friends....



You Sit Here And Tell Me To My Damn Face...Oh I Promise We'll Hang Out Monday...



So Now Its Monday...AND HE GOES THE FUCK TO WORK!!



SCREW YOU ASSHOLE!

I've Been Going Through A Life Altering Change....



And No I'm Not Pregnant Again...



Recently After Spending Time With Very Good People...And Breaking Off A Few Friendships That I Never Thought I Would Break I've Realized That I Am A Good Person And A Wonderful Woman Inside And Out...





And I Have One Very Understanding Man In My Life Now...Who Is Totally Acceptable Of My Wants And Dreams....



I Saw Him This Morning Before Work And Possibly Will See Him Again Tonight...



*Giggles Like A School Girl*

Le Sigh



I Lost My Saved VR Messages



And All Of Them Were Really Good Ones...



:(

Can Anyone Please Tell Me Why Do Men Only Like To Be Friends With Benefits????



MOTHER FUCKERS!

Well My Birthday Sucked Big Fat Monkey Cock...



I Had To Work...



Yesterday Work Was Shitty As Well..



After Work Though Was Just...



YUMMY....

I Had To Go To The Doctor Yesterday...To Have My Knees Looked At...My Doctor Says Oh Lets Have X-Rays Done...JUST FUCKING GREAT I Say To Myself....



Today X-Ray Day...From What I Can See...I Have Fulid In My Left Knee..GREAT!! I Have To Have A Big Huge Fucking Needle Put In My Leg..UGH!



DAMN IT DAMN IT!!



Happy Fucking Birthday To Me...

I Have The Privilage Of Knowing The Greatest People In The World...



My Friends...I Love You All...And You All Know Who You Are

VR INVADES MAGIC KINGDOM!!!!



HA HA HA!!

I Am Happy!!!



The Reason Why I Am Happy Is Not Relevent To You...But I AM HAPPY!!!

I'm Just Over All Of It....You Think Going To Colorado Was A Mistake??? Then You Must Think Lil Bionic Woman Is A Mistake



I'm Over IT ALL!!!

Yes It's My Thoughts...Yes Those Thoughts Are Put Into 3rd Person Story Form...The Man With Whom I'm Speaking About His Name Is Not The One I Wrote...Due To The Fact That I Wish To Give Him The Benefit Of The Doubt....And I Did Add Some Things To Those Thoughts To Make It Better Than Just To Write About Said Thoughts..



Yes I'm Hurt At What He Did To Me...Yes I'm Ruined For Other Men....If That Makes Me A Bitch...Then So Be It...



I'm Sick And Tired Of All Of It...



So I'm Done

Her Body Felt As If It Was Hit By A Mack Truck..His Words Echoing In Her Head..."I Care About You But Not The Way You Care About Me"...The Sound Of Hurt In His Voice As He Said It...Her Heart Carried With That Sound...The Tears Streaming Down Her Face Uncontrollable As She Screamed..."Why Is It Always Me...Why Can't I Ever Be Happy?"



She Looks Around At Her Surrondings....The Computer Infront Of Her.....The Bed That She Always Dreamed About Him In...The Endless Pictures Of Her Daughter, Her Parents And Her Friends....She Cried At The Thought Of Her Daughter....Growing Up Without Her Asshole Of A Dad...And Wondering Why Mommy Is Raising Her All Alone...



She Recalls The Last Huge Fight That Her And Michael Had Before She Gave Him The Ultamatium..."Tell Her Take The Consquences...Then Maybe I'll Talk To You" That Gave Her The Sense Of Power That She Felt She Had Over Him...Now All Of A Sudden Why Does She Feel Like That Was The Wrong Thing To Do...



She Lays Upon Her Bed...Staring At The Celing And Thinking About The Good Times Before She Told Him That She Loved Him....Telling Him That She Loved Him Gave Her A Sense Of Being Complete...Then Things All Went Down Hill From There..Him Not Being Online...Not Talking To Her....Giving Her One Word Answers...Not Telling His Woman About Her...Always Flirting Whenever Both Of Them Were Online...



Then She Just Broke Down And Was Tired Of The Ignoring And The Bullshit...So She Called Him Out On It....Threating To Tell Her Everything And Show Her All The Conversations That The Two Of Them Had Together While He Was Unemployed And She Was At Work....



She Walks Into The Bathroom And Looks Into The Mirror...Her Eyes Red And Splotchy...Her Eyeliner And Mascara In Lines Down Her Face...Her Clothes Half Off...Due To The Fact That She Didn't Want To Wear Them Anymore And She Was So Upset On The Way Home That She Didn't Even Want To Wear The Clothes Anymore...Yes She Did Look Great...As All The Men Who Were Constantly Hitting On Her At The Bar With Offers To Dance And Buying Her Drinks But It Wasn't The Same As What He Said To Her..."You Are Beautiful....And I Care A lot About You"



She Half Collasped On The Floor With Only Her Hands To Support Her The Rest Of The Way Down In Tears Again....She Screams "WHY DID HE DO THIS TO ME...WHY???" After What Asshole Did To Her And Her Daughter She Promised Herself That She Would Never Let Another Man Ruin Her And Break Her Heart...And Michael Did Something That She Thought Would Never Happen Again...He Brought It Back To Life Again With His Kindness And Honesty...And He Knows How Untrustworthy Of Men She Is...



She Grabs A Roll Of Toilet Paper And Uses Half Of It To Dry Her Tears And Stop Herself From Being A Blubbering Idiot And Gets Up Off The Ground And Feeling Very Heavy In Her Body And Her Heart...She Looks Back Into That Mirror And Sees The Woman Staring Back At Her.



She Says Outloud So If Everyone Of Her Friends Were There They Could Hear It Within 3 Feet Away And Remember It.."You Have Ruined Me For All Men....I'm Done Trying To Be The Nice Girl Who Deserves The Dream That Every Girl Want's"....She Seals That Promise To Herself By Punching The Wall Next To Her With Such Force And Saying His Name And Hoping That He Can Hear It In His Mind....She Takes A Shower And Settles Into Bed And Slowly Falls Asleep With That Same Quote In Her Mind,Heart And Soul...



He Awoke With Such A Fright And The Massive Headache Was Like Someone Punching Into His Brain..With The Quote..."You Have Ruined Me For All Men...I'm Done Trying To Be The Nice Girl Who Deserves The Dream That Every Girl Want's" He Says To Himself Quietly..."What Have I Done??"

Why Is It I'm So Misunderstood??



DAMN IT I'm Not A Bad Person....Hell I'm A Nice Fucking Person If People Would Realize It...



So Fucking What....I'm A Emotional Sap...And I Want Something That I've Only Dreamed Of...



I Don't Even Want To Try Anymore For That Dream...