The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

“Wait! Don’t leave me!” I shout at the man walking away from me. He whips around and glares at me.



“Why the fuck shouldn’t I?! How do I know it won’t be worse next time?!” He shakes his head sadly. “Not this time. This is the end.”



He steps through the open door into the night and quietly closes the door behind him. My knees finally give out and I collapse to the floor.



“I am such a fucking idiot!!” I yell to the empty house. I hurl my fists into the plush carpeting as tears come to my eyes. A song that I heard a long time ago comes to mind and the lyrics slowly begin to play in my mind.



I know I should have told you. I was so afraid you’d leave… “I guess it didn’t matter either way.” I feel like hitting myself but I know it won’t do any good. “It’s too late now, moron. He’s gone and there is nothing that you can do about it…” And now there’s nothing left to say, well nothing you’d believe… “You wouldn’t even consider listening to me now.” I stand up slowly, ignoring the tears that are pouring down my face. I kill the one light left on in the house, a lamp next to the couch, and wander towards the kitchen.



I never meant to hurt you with the things I couldn’t say… “If only I had done things differently,” I mutter, laughing bitterly. “Hindsight has 20-20 vision.”



I sigh at my stupidity. “I told you that I had dark secrets that I shouldn’t tell you. That was my first mistake: Telling you. I knew you weren’t ready, but you kept digging and I gave in and told you.”



I promise you tomorrow while denying you today… “I wanted you to wait a little while so that you could truly understand what I had to offer.

Evidently you got tired of waiting. I even gave you what I thought you wanted. I guess that wasn’t good enough. You only wanted me if I was perfect.”



My vision blurs as I reach the kitchen. I’m not sure I want to do this, but I have to. It’s the only way to make you understand. I stop and gaze out the window over the sink. The moon is in its first quarter. Perfect. I reach for the drawer to my right. I said I would never open it again.



These lies have torn my world apart… “I guess that is just one more lie I get to slip under my belt.” I laugh again. “I lied to keep you safe, my friend. I lied to keep me sane, for you. I didn’t lie to hurt you, you bastard!” I slam my fists against the counter.



These lies have torn my world apart… “Fuck you!! Why can’t you understand?!” These lies have torn my world apart… “And what do you do?! You throw it in my face like I’m the only one to blame for all of your problems!!”



My hands drop to my sides, my rage gone. I don’t car now. You’re gone so nothing else matters. You were all that I needed to go on living. Now you will pay for taking that away from me. “You will pay…”