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He is full of surprises.



I never cease to be amazed by him and all his foolish antics. Sometimes he can be the stupidest person in the world, the fool, and other times, he seems very wise. Sometimes it seems like he truly understands how the world works and why things happen when they do. His brown eyes hold much wisdom once you really look him in the eye and take him seriously.



But… He’s such a punk.



He doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what other people think about him, and he’ll do anything if he thinks it would be fun. He’s so reckless, I’m sure he’ll get him self killed sooner than later and actually be gone for good.



Maybe that’s what I like about him. Maybe the fact that he’s not afraid is what I admire most about him. How he embraces his flaws and is fine with them.



He could care less.



I wish I could be like that. I hate who I am, and I hate where I’m from, and if I could, I would surely take my life away.



I am insignificant in this world, so I see no reason to still be here.



I have killed more people then I could ever possibly count and, at the time, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the sight of blood on my hands, and I loved the sound of others screams in my ears. I loved the power. And that’s exactly what I had. So many people were afraid of me…I could always see it in their eyes right before they died. Some died without a sound, other begged and screamed for mercy as they went down.



I regret what I did to all those people…and my blood stained hands are my reminder of my past.



I really am a bastard.



I am surely going to hell, or whatever comes after death, so that is why I was so surprised when he approached me that night.



I was perched on a tree limb in the park, lost in thought, when I heard him speak from below me. I looked down and saw him staring back at me, smiling.



I knew something was up, and he was hiding something from me, but I ignored that little voice in my head and went along with him when he asked me to come down and talk.



There was an eerie silence between us as we sat together, side by side. After a while, he finally spoke. He said that life was hard, and at times it was really confusing.



He told me that he was feeling confused him self, and he felt as if something was missing in his life. I asked him, in a voice colder then I meant, what I was supposed to do about that, and why I should care about how he feels, and about his problems.



He smiled at me, and some how, moments later, I found my self crushed between a hard tree and his warm body. His lips were on mine in an instant, and I felt his hard-on poking against my belly.



I don’t know why, but I went along with it. I kissed him back with a ferocity I have never felt before, with feelings I did not understand. He roughly touched me everywhere, my arms, my neck, my chest and my back. He trailed kisses along my jaw and shoulder, and I gasped when I felt his canines sink into my neck, drawing sweet, hot blood to his lips.



My hands found the waistband to his navy colored pants, and I started to gently pull them down off his slender hips. He abruptly pulled away from me, his face flushed, panting heavily. “Wait… you know this wont last, right? I-I mean…we could never really be more th-”



“I know, kid. Your dame wouldn’t like it if she knew you were fucking your cousin behind her back, now would she?”



He nodded. “Are you sure you don’t mind…?”



I nodded back. “I am sure. This will be our only time together… so be real. Be with me.”



I crushed his lips against mine, and we fell to the ground heavily, our hands working on each others clothing. My heart ached, but I didn’t want to stop. He needed this. And some how, I think I needed it too. Bad… For once in my life I needed to feel something. Anything. Even if it was just misguided lust.



I shivered, despite the hot weather when I felt his hands on me, gently, yet firmly stroking me all over. My lips, my breast, my stomach… His hands wandered down to my entrance, his fingers gently probing me. He kissed me softly with his cherry lips to silence my whimpers. His fingers were cold as he violated me, but I bit my tongue and ignored it, trying to focus on the task at hand.



I felt him swiftly enter me and I cried out in pain. God, it really hurt! Part of me wanted to edge away from his stiff cock, and the other part of me wanted to impale my self on it, and give him a fuck he would remember always.



So, biting my lip, I pushed my hips up and met his frantic thrusts. We started out awkwardly, but soon we got used to the feeling of each other, and, aided by the bloody lubricant, started moving in an easy rhythm. He looked so beautiful crouched above me, with his ebony hair hanging in his eyes, he voice low and groaning every time he hit my prostrate, making white flashes shine before my eyes every time he did.



I trailed my hands up and down his broad, tan chest, his muscles rippling beneath his tight skin. His thrusting became faster, and I could tell he was close, as was I. He let out a strangled scream as he came, shooting his cum deep within me. I screamed also as I felt my self tip over the edge, my fingers digging into the flesh of his sides.



He fell, exhausted, on top of me, but shifted his weight so he wouldn’t crush my small frame. After a minute, he sighed and slowly rolled off me, pulling my jacket over my naked form as he went. He stood, found his clothing, and got dressed.



I just lay there shivering.



He bent down once more and lightly kissed me. “I have to go… She’s expecting me to come over soon. I’ll cya later, okay?” I nodded, showing my understanding of the situation.



And with those last words, he left me. I pulled my black coat around me and sighed heavily. Tears were brimming in my eyes, but I dared not let them fall.



I don’t know what I was expecting from him that night; a confession of love? A promise to stay with me forever? Highly unlikely, I know…but I still wish……I wish that I meant something more to him…

Daron stared blankly at the item that sat on the counter in front of him. He had been staring at it for hours now, trying to gather the courage to do what he knew needed to be done.



"Daron, what are you doing!"



"It's none of your business, Chris!"



He should have done this sooner; should have done it after that first time...



"Of course it's my business! I'm your lover; I deserve to know-"



"Shut up!"



How could he have been so blind? Even when everyone told him, he still refused to see what was so wrong about what he was doing. God, he was so stupid.



"Daron, please! You need to stop this!"



"You need to mind your own damn business!"



Thinking back, he couldn't really remember where it started. One had just been one little thing, and that somehow turned into another. And another and another and another... Until that was all that mattered; getting another.



No matter who got hurt in the process.



"Daron... let go! You're hurting me!"



"It'll hurt a whole lot worse if you don't shut up!"



He had been out of his mind; he'd had no clue what he was doing. Even now he couldn't remember everything he had done. But that was no excuse and there was no way to undo his actions.



"Daron... stop... please..."



"Shut up, you damn whore!"



There was no way to take back the things he said... or the things he did. No matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much the guilt of what he had done haunted him. No matter how hard he tried...



"Daron..."



"Chris? Oh God... Chris!"



...to be forgiven...



"What have I done?"



...to forgive himself...



"I'm sorry..."



...it was always just out of his reach.



"Chris..."



But there was one thing he could do. One thing that could start him on the path to forgiveness... the path of redemption. One thing he should have done after that first time.



And finally, Daron picked up the bottle of tequila and poured it down the sink.



"I'm so sorry..."