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I feel like I am falling... I feel like I can't stop... Someone help me... I feel lost and alone... Not that that is anything new... I don't like it... It makes me sick... All the things that I have to do... I feel like I am losing everything... I feel faint... Catch me... I'm going to fall... I have failed... At what, you ask...? Everything... What is there that I haven't failed at...? I would laugh, but it would only be fake... I don't like things that are fake... Fake smiles... Fake tears... Fake people... I hate them... They make me want to retch... Fake, plastic people... Cheerleaders too... I just want to wring their necks... Disgusting... And they say that I have poor taste... At least I am who I am and not some piece of trash...



I don't claim that I am beautiful or perfect... I know that I am not... There is a lot of shit that has made me who I am... I don't really share what that is though... Some think that because I keep my thoughts to myself I am being stuck up... I'm not... It's just who I am... Sure I can be loud and obnoxious but that is when I am enjoying myself with my friends... I'm not like that all the time... I also have a rather dark sense of humor... Or so I am told...



I don't know why things turn out the way that they do... They just do... I don't always have to know why... I don't really care about that... I can care... Not that you know that... People can have any opinion of me that they want... Geek... Wannabe goth... Loser... Suck up... Know-it-all... Lier... Cheater... Fucked up... Whatever... It is their opinion... If it mattered to me, I might consider it... But it doesn't... Few opinions do... But those that do matter are always taken into consideration...



I don't know why I started writing this... I guess I wanted to write something poetic... But this is what it bacame... Things are what they are... And they are for a reason... I'll see ya on the flip side...



BC~~~

Is it so wrong for me to care about someone? Am I doomed to care for those who will never care for me in return? Maybe they do care, but they sure as hell never show it... Is that too much to ask for? I mean... Why should anyone care? People are allowed to live their own lives and come and go as they please... There is no need for them to have to tell me where they are going... Why the fuck should it bother me? Well guess what? It sure as hell bothers me... If I care, you know it... It isn't just one of my false masks... I am willing to show those that I care about the true me... The person that people rarely see and some will never see... I gave my heart away once... Once and only once... I'm still hanging on that... My heart literally hurts for them... When they disapprove of something that I do or something that I say, I take it hard because their opinion matters to me... Sadly, I am beginning to feel that my opinion does not matter to them... I feel like I am losing them... I am lost and frightened... And that is saying a lot... Sure I put on this air that I am perfectly fine, but that isn't true... I am hurting... And the one person that can make the hurt go away is causing it…








That is what they are… And mine is breaking… There is only one thing that I ask…








But I doubt that that will ever happen… They will never take that initiative…



I guess that I am doomed to live in pain… I will not give up on my love until the day I die… Is there something so wrong with that?