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yearly exam..... LMAO
23:17 Feb 28 2009
Times Read: 629






I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

The nurse started with certain basics.

"How much do you weigh?" she asked.

"135," I said.

The nurse put me on the scale.

It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, "Your height?"

"5 foot 4," I said.

The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5'2"

She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" I screamed, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender!

Now I'm short and fat!"

She put me on Prozac.

What a bitch.

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
17:42 Feb 25 2009
Times Read: 630

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.



2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.



3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.



4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.



5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.



6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40.

> > IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.





7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.



DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

hehe
12:39 Feb 05 2009
Times Read: 649

another good song....i love this!!! ima big kid :)

PRIVATE ENTRY
14:56 Feb 03 2009
Times Read: 651


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