The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

You look right through me



You only see the outline

You can't see what is in front of you

Because it isnt real

You may think im real

You may think that im standing in front of you

But im just a drawing you drew

When you had nothing left and needed someone to talk to

You drew me, used me, and tossed me away

I have nothing left to be pretty for

You grabbed your eraser

You brought it to my abdomen

What do you plan to do?

Erase me from your life?

Keep me from being seen?

Not let others see what youve done to me?

My being is too precious to be wasted

So please....

Please dont erase me from your mind

Just keep me there a little longer

I can behave

Let others see your talent

Let others see what you helped make me become

Show everyone your true colors

Let them see what you truly are

I cannot speak for I am a mere drawing

I cannot move around freely on this paper

I can only do as you command and please

Why use me for the simple things?

I want to be worth something to you

I am not a sketch

I am not an outline

I am a complete drawing

A work of art created by a talented young man

Please take that eraser from me

And show others who you really are

And keep me forever in your sight.

Because I am just another one of your drawings.

Laughing and flirting

Talking and joking

Completely open

Always talking

Never any silence

No disturbances

No awkward moments

Talking nonsense



Cant hold on

Trying to take it all

Hold my hand

Touch my face

Hug me close

Kiss me tenderly

Love me alway

Whisper in my ear

Sweet nothings

Of love and care



Hold me close

Kiss my ear

And hold my hand



Smile dearly

Kiss my closed eyes

Kiss the tip of my nose



Touch my face

Run your fingers down my arm

Rub my shoulders



Hug me tight

Kiss me please

Say you love me



Dont ever fall

From my tight grasp

Stay here in my arms forever

"A long road we have ahead"

I was told

While the gas tank was being filled

A long road we have indeed



I sit in the back on the drivers side

Watching the world slowly go by

Tall and healthy green trees with blossoming flowers

The smell of ripening corn in the fields

Houses with children's play sets in the nice green yard

Billboards everywhere I turn

Ahead of us is a semi which says "Heartland Express"

A sign for me?

Cars zooming by and we slowly pass others

Apartment complexes and fancy bridges

Trailer parks filled with kids running and playing

Construction every other two miles

Railings along side the highway

Fresh greens over growing the tops of the railings

Nothing but blue skies ahead of us now

Small clouds made of white cotton decorate the sky

The sun smiling down on us

Filling our life with light and happiness

Horses galloping in the fenced in fields

A beautiful Arabian races us as we pass

Her mane flowing blissfully in the wind and her tail whipping about



The beautiful little things you see

We never really notice

We seem to be more concentrated on our own lives

You never seem to have just a mere little second to spare

To really look at what is around us

And appreciate all of God's work.

Today is the day



That I become someone new

Someone that doesnt need love

Someone that doesnt need happiness

Someone that doesnt need you

I look into atmosphere of tomorrow

And I see nothing

No emotion or care of the day

There is no pain, misery, hope, nor love

My life walls once colored inch by inch

Now covered in dull grey

Yesterdays news means nothing to me now

Friends of yesterday and the past are no more

Opportunities to start anew arise in my favor

I once thought that I wanted you

I once thought that all I needed was you

That only you could make me happy

But you up and left me

Leaving me with no say

You brain washed me into loving you

Telling me lies of happiness

I cant take any more of your lies

I dont want to hear you

To think that I loved you

To think that I cared for you

You went and broke my heart

Never truly giving it a chance

Or even a second thought

You went and ran my heart dry

I loved truly no one but you

So what did you expect me to do

When you dropped me from a fifty-two story building?

Magically land on my feet?

The chance I missed to show you how happy we can be

Has never once passed and sunk into your head

How many times do I have to try?

Its not worth it anymore.

The sun has set on this relationship

Time to start a new day

Without you.....

If only you knew

If only you'd care

If only I said to you

What I wanted to say



You'd be here

And I would be there

Laying in your arms

Till the break of dawn



If you could only see

How much you mean to me

I only wish to hear your voice

And to know that you like me too



Tell me now

What you really think

I will listen

To every word you say



If only you knew

How much you mean to me

You would understand

How I can care for you so dearly



In the end

I will only tell you this once

And I hope you hear it

And please don't let it pass you by...



I'm falling for you.

She stands in the shadows



Dressed in black

Covered by darkness

She stands in waiting

Waiting for the one she fell for

But he doesn't know

That he is all she thinks about

She wanders day after day

Looking for his face

His handsome smile

His dazzling eyes

His welcoming embrace

Why is he making her wait?

In the darkness she sits

Awaiting for his arrival

In the foggy midnight atmosphere

A figure approaches

Her heart beats faster

Because she knows that figure

She stands to greet him

But he is not alone

His hand in anothers

His smile directed to another

His eyes locked on anothers

Quickly she hides behind an old oak tree

Watching as they pass

His enticing words catch her attention

Her heart jerks to his words

The same words he told her

He told this other girl

The other girl falls for it all

Her eyes filled with tears

Her heart falls to pieces

His words tear apart her soul

As they walk past her old oak tree

She inhales the scent of his cologne

It takes all her might to quiet her sobs

They walk past the tree

Still laughing and flirting as before

She slowly peeks her head out from the old oak tree

And watches their silhouettes disappear

When they have finally vanished in the night

She falls to her knees

Gripping her hair in her hands

With her head down and eyes closed

She tugs and tugs on her hair

Wishing to tear herself apart

Her heart is left to rot

And her soul shredded

She looks back up to the path

Of where they walked

With all her strength she stands

She walks faster and faster

Leading to a jog

Then a run

Running in the dark nothingness

She feels as if there is a hole in her chest

Of where her heart used to be

The heart she was willing to give him

Finally she passes them

Out of the woods

She appears in front of them

Panting and sniffling

She stands in their way

So he has to see her

They walked closer

And her heart beat faster

When they got in arms length

They passed right by her

As if she were invisible

They pass and she turns to watch

But her body won't move

She blinks and brings her hands to her head

Her fists clench and she grits her teeth

Collapsing to the ground she screams endless screams

As she sits on the ground

Her vision begins to blur

And becomes so very light headed

She blinks rapidly

Everything flashes a bright yellow and white

She can feel her body start to rise off the ground

Looking behind her

She sees great white wings

As they moved to her command

She turned to see what was left

A cold body lay on the ground

With a knife stuck in between her ribs

She looks upon her dead face

A faint smile upon her face

He put her out of her misery

And did her a favor to end the suffering

This one guy she fell for

The one she was going to give her heart to

The one she thought she could love

Ended up being just another guy

Her heart lifts and giggles

Her wings stretch out and take her away

This girl may have been invisible

But she still has a heart

And will forever be me

Why can't you see that you are hurting me?

Why can't you stop the lies you've told

And just tell me the truth

Which is what you should have done from the beginning



You never did like me

You thought me hideous and large

You don't care what I say

You sure don't give a damn about me



Why can't you stop this?

Stop the hurt you've been causing

By just telling me no

And that you don't want to be with me



Why did you have to lead me on

And throw me away once I opened up to you?

I thought you were a person

That I could give my heart to in time



Why I thought that I don't know

Guess it was just a feeling

I've been crushed many times

And you've had the last beat down



I'm tired of guys like you tearing me down

And leaving me there to rot

I'm not one of those girls

You can fuck and walk away



I will not do a one night stand

No matter how much I like you

You will NOT tear me down

I will not let it happen



You mean nothing to me now

You have torn my shattered soul

The last strand of hope

That I could love someone again



Don't even think

That I will come crawling back to you

You've taught me better

And because of you I'm happier



I don't need you and your vicious lies

I don't need to see your face

I don't need to hear your voice

And I sure as hell don't need to feel your touch



Moving on is what I'll do

Or even move away

I don't want to be around you

Because you will tear me down to dirt



The one thing you taught me

Was to live life to the fullest

But how can I live

If you keep beating me down with your lies?



So tell me if you like me

But don't lie to me to keep me around

But if you don't tell me

I'll assume you found another



I found another, you see

He has no reason to lie

Like you do

He is honest and true



If you wish to be friends

Then so be it

But if you plan to continue this charade of lies and ignorance

Then back out of my life now



I don't want you around

If you plan to pity me for my past

I wanted you to see me

And accept me for who I am



Time moves on though

And so does this little kitty

So tell me your true feelings

And make your decision final.

Just stop talki​ng

Don'​t hold me back

But don'​t let go

And never​ look back



I held on long enoug​h

And now it's time to go

I can'​t look at you anymo​re

It break​s my heart​ to see your smile​ now



I like you too much

That'​s why I can'​t hold on

I can'​t hold back on what I feel

And I can'​t hide it any longe​r



I'm falli​ng for you like the stars​ above​

Falli​ng into the sweet​ abyss​ of your embra​ce

Liste​ning to your heart​ beat

Is like liste​ning to mine in an echo



We were close​ as one once

Then you depar​ted and left me behin​d

You left me falli​ng into nothi​ng

And you never​ retur​ned



Your voice​ is like sweet​ honey​dew

And your smile​ is like the midni​ght sky

Your eyes are like the calmi​ng ocean​ breez​e

And your touch​ is soft like an angel​s kiss



Why must you leave​ me now

When we were so close​

So close​ to becom​ing each other​s someo​ne

You left me wonde​ring why



My hand conti​nues to stay in mid air

Waiti​ng for your touch​

Waiti​ng for you to guide​ me home

To hold on tight​ and never​ let go



Whisp​er sweet​ words​

And let me know you'​ll stay

Pleas​e rid of this curio​sity

And leave​ me wanti​ng more



But you won'​t come back

You can'​t give me what I want

Becau​se you won'​t try

You won'​t even think​ of the possi​bilit​ies



Look at me now

And say nothi​ng but the truth​

Can you reall​y back away

When all I want to do is love you?

What do I say



What do I do

How do I feel

Where do I run?

You tell me you love me

You tell me Im the one

You tell me Im forever yours

You promise me your love

Things were fine

Things were great

I wanted you to be my mate

I failed to mention

How much I appreciated

And adored you

Every night I prayed to God

And thanked him for meeting you

Every day I told you I loved you

Every day I smiled just for you

Whenever you weren't around I cried

Was I obsessed?

No.

I was in love.

Months have passed

Months of trying to forget and move on

But yet something still holds on

You weren't my first

But you were something special

Maybe it was the fact

That you were the first one I've ever truly loved

But now you don't care

And now I don't care

You've moved on

And so have I

But the thing is

I still love you

I told you nothing would change that

Forgive me for being rude

But I wish you were mine again

You never will be mine again

Which is what I tell myself

Because you love another

Forgive me please and be my friend

Forgive all my wrong doings

I'm not asking you to forget

Because I never will

Now that I'm alone again

I can't stop thinking

What if I never treated you that way?

Oh well

We weren't meant to be obviously

God has something planned for me

But I still wish you were mine again

You make me think



You make me love

You make me want

You make me happy

My heart sets afire

Whenever I think of you

But for some reason

I cant see straight

I love you with all my heart

But we've been friends for years

Is it time we got together?

Is it time we gave it a chance?

I get so nervous

When I think about you

We are best friends

But now we are girlfriends

What next will come from this?

Pain, misery, sorrow, lies, hatred, cheating?

Love, tenderness, comforting, caring, honesty?

Which will it be?

On the night of the full moon

I see your shadow spread across the sky

And the stars form a figure

It could only be you

Why is it now

That I'm wanting you?

Why not 4 years ago?

Or anytime before?

Why now of all times?

Did it take me that long to realize

That I want you?

Or that I want to give it a chance?

What has come over me

To make me want you like this

I'm not complaining

But I squee with joy when I hear your voice

You make me laugh

You make me cry

We have been friends for all these years

And now we become a couple

You were my second half

The air in my lungs

The beat of my heart

The life of my soul

You were always there for me

And I was always there for you

Is this the time

When we become one?

This is a wake up call

To both me and you

We have created proof

That best friends can become lovers.

This shall be an interesting discovery

Thinking of you

Just made me realize

How capable of happiness

I can truely be



I don't need you

Or any other man

To be truely happy

Or to always lean on



I have myself and my friends

I don't need someone like you

I don't need you in my life

Why won't you just leave?



Why can't you just forgive me?

You know how I feel about that night

I have done many wrongs

But have I never done you right?



Why do you always toss me the negatives

When I try to apologize?

Why do you always throw things in my face

When I'm trying to forget what I did?



Today and forever I shall always love you

Though you will never be mine again

But that is more than okay

Because I want you to be happy



I can't help but think of you

Before I fall asleep

Because I still have that picture

Of you and me under my pillow



I do not hate her

For the fact that you love her

I love the fact that you two are happy

You guys aren't what I hate



I hate the fact that I can't be happy

That no matter what I try

I can never find my happiness

And I'm tired of waiting.



When will it be my turn?

When can I tell someone I love them again?

When will I find someone who loves me for me

And doesn't live centuries away?



I prayed to God that you would find happiness

That you would be able to forgive me

And possibly be my friend

Though we haven't gotten that far



You mean the world to me

And if it takes the rest of our lives

For you to acknowledge me

Then so be it.





I will wait forever, if I have to, to become your friend again.

You've made a long journey

You've traveled countless nights

But yet you made it through

All the battles the forests gave you



The darkness never settles

You may never see another sunrise

The moon has started its count down

Of the nights you have left to fight



You came to me as you were dying

You crawled on your splintered hands and broken knees

As your heart was crying

And your soul was slowly fading



In your voice I heard pain and weakness

In your eyes I saw hatred and sorrow

You tried to stand your broadest stance

But you fell to your broken knees



Come to me my darling

I shall rid your pain and fury

For the nights in war that you have spent

You see, is merely God's amusement



Come rest your weary head

Hold on and don't let go

For the nights are sure to brighten

Now that you have someone to love you



Listen closely and you will see

All the misery you have given me

Do not go back, I'm begging you

Please stay with me, I love you



So take my hand

And don't let go

The darkness is calling to you

But you must stay strong and never give in!



My love for you is everlasting

That's the strength you've given me

Please hold on tight, I'm begging you

You are needed here within me



The darkness is and tries to fool you

But darling, please fight this war

You must be strong, your will to live must remain

Darling do not fear, I'm with you



So rest your head

And take my hand

Follow me and trust in me

I'll help you



Because....I....love....you.



Hold on....and stay strong....

I see you standing there

As the distance between us decreases

My heart skips a beat

As it jumps intp my throat

I hold my friends hands

To calm my overactive nerves

You look my way

And my insides scream

Not a word has been exchanged

But stolen glances we both take

We finally converse

And my uneasiness settles bit by bit

I make a suggestion

And you take the chance

Happy to see that you caught on

I excitedly jump out of my chair



We walk side by side

Keeping a steady pace

My heart races as we tell stories of our pasts

And reveal more and more about ourselves

Talking to you alone

Has helped resolve my confusion

We walk farther

And sit by the water

We sit close but not close enough

I tell you on of my weak spots

And you spoiled me silly

More time has passed

Time I wanted to last forever

On the walk back

I wanted to reach out

And take your hand

The only thing that held me back

Was my uncertainty of your feelings towards me

The time I dreaded finally came

As we got into his car

I held your hand briefly when you sat in front of me

I want you to know that that made my night

We got out of the car

And I happily semi glomped you

You spun me around a few times

I was so happy those few seconds

We hugged each other tight for a minute or two

I dreaded saying goodbye

But I know I'll see you again



Today was special

I learned more about you with every word you spoke

And I realized something

Through all the laughs we shared

And all the stories we told

I can see myself being with someone like you

Is that bad?

I was able to open up to you

That usually takes some time with other people

I was able to tell you a few secretive things about myself

That not a lot of other people know

With these few words I will soon say

I hope you don't mind me saying them

And hopefully you might possibly feel the same

But after today

I can surely say



That I like you ^__^



(And I still smell like you

Whenever I turn

It's like you are beside me still)

We stand out in the night

No light but the silver moon above

A star here and there accompanies us

The gentle breeze brushing my hair across my face

The soft touch of water splashing on our arms

We stand side by side

Watching the waves crash excitedly against the rocks

A quiet roll of thunder fills my ears

A quick flash of lightening blurrs my vision for mere seconds

The crisp air slightly stings my lungs every breath I take

As the storm comes closer

I realize you have as well

You put your arm around my waist and pull me close

Shivers are sent down my spine

I cuddle close to the warmth of your body

And we stand there quietly

Watching the storm roll in minutes at a time

With the sounds of the rolling thunder

And our hearts match the beating of the waves against the rocks

All night we stand there

In each others arms

In peace till dawn

There is no one I would rather be here with

Than you....



Thank you

Burning my skin

Shredding my bones

Ripping my organs

Tearing apart my heart

Life is always so hard

When you finally realize

That you have no one

No one by your side

They all abandon you

And laugh in your face

Talk behind your back

And watch as you fall

When you hit the ground

You groan in pain

You reach for a helping hand

But they just spit in your face

Whatever happened to friendship?

Whatever happened to romance?

Time has stopped

The Earth has stopped

Where has everything gone?

It doesn't matter anymore

Because I'm already dead insid

Completely annoyed

Completely destroyed

Completely strung out

Completely done



In the end we are all toys

A part in someones game

It's like a game of chess

Use the strongest till you get what you want



This time in my life story

I have come to realize a great deal

Something that takes years to realize

I have found in 19 years of living



You can lie, cheat, and steal

But the dreams of others

Is something you cannot break

Or even try to take away



The weak are not so weak

The strong are not so strong

Everyone has a weakness

And everyone has a strong point



Coming to conclusions

Realizing the questionable

Thinking out the knots

Visualizing the unseen



I am not weak

Nor am I strong

I just fall too easily

And never cease to come again



I am not some toy you can play with

I am not a puppet on strings

I am not something you can push around

Or try to tear apart



I am not letting you or anyone do this anymore

I have found my barriers and set them up

You cannot get in unless I so demand

I shall keep you at bay



I am not something you can look down upon

I am more than that

You cannot destroy my dreams or hopes or wishes

You cannot even glance at them



In time we learn lifes little treasures

In life we learn how to love and to hate

But for me

I've learned to stay neutral



To love and not to recieve love in return

Kills more than anything in the world

To hate is to give up completely

Which I have not done yet



In my life I have learned many tales

Both truth and lies

How can you trust one another?

That is simple...you can't

I look to my left

And I glance to my right

Couples in every way I turn

And I feel an empty hole



They hold hands

They hold each other close

They kiss to express their care and love

My God I feel empty



When I am with you

You hug me tight

You kiss me sweetly

Why do I feel empty?



We argue and quarrel

Which is quite fine

It helps learn each others habits

And teaches the limits one can stand



Though what I don't get

Is why through all this

I feel so incomplete

Like I am your toy...



I'm way too shy

To ask you the real question why

You will not take me by your side

And possibly be mine



Do you not like me?

Am I wasting my time?

I don't know what to do

I just hope you don't end up using me



=[

Everyday I remember the memories

Everyday I remember the promises

Everyday I remember the love

Everyday I think of you



Memories flash before my eyes

Memories raise from the shadows

Memories come to haunt me

Memories come to torture



Love was all I felt for you

Love was all you felt for me

Love was a disease; an addiction; a curse

Love made me blind to reality



You tried to forget

You tried to forgive

You tried to tell

You tried to show



Forever more I will hate myself

Forever more I will never forget

Forever more I will never forgive

Forever more will I never feel the same



Never again will you love me

Never again will you kiss me

Never again will you hold me close

Never again will I be able to call you mine



Time to forget

Forgive

And move on

From the past we had made

The clouds roll in

Rain pours in sheets

Lightening brightens the sky

Thunder shakes the ground



My favorite kind of weather

The time one takes to think

To sit back with a book and cup of coffee

And takes time for ones self to relax



I love to watch the lightening flash bright

And feel the thunder roll through my body

To dance in the rain

And feel myself become one with Mother Nature



Complete freedom and ease

No one can ruin this moment

Mother Nature takes over my body

And erases all harm and hurt



If only day could be as nice

Never again would I feel pain and rejection

No more lies or broken promises

Only the satisfaction that I will never be hurt again

All I ever wanted

Was your love and care

To be reassured

That I still matter to you

I long to feel like I mean something

After that tragic day

I haven't been the same

I never went to be my old self

The one you knew before we dated

No...I became a better person after that day

A more independent individual

Though for some reason

You do not care

You do not care to even take a second

To sit back and even glance on my improvements

I still remember that day

The passion and trust we shared

That one day when we became one

I thought I put it all behind me

But it has risen to haunt me

Why can't you understand

After all this time

That all I ever wanted from you

All I ever wanted to hear escape your lips

Is that I still mean something to you

That I still matter

That you still care

That I am still your friend

Everytime we talk

I long to hear those words

If I am to never hear those words from you

I will never fully heal

From the pain you have caused me

So I ask you this

"Do I mean anything to you?

"Does my existance even matter to you?

"Don't you care about me in the slightest?

"Do you truely not care anymore?"

Night after night

You make your appearance

You talk to me sweetly

And act so kindly



You hold my hand

And kiss me sincerely

Nothing but ove and care

You show no hate nor disgust



I lay there in your arms

Safe and warm in your comforting embrace

The reassurance of its reality

How can this be real?



Your kisses are a summers breeze

Your voice is a soothing thunder

Your smile like the mid day sun

Your touch is soft like a bath of rose petals



Night after night I feel this

This sweet lovers bliss

Though sure enough

I awaken from my fantasy dream

Last night was one of a few

Of the best days of my life

After what seemed to be years

I finally saw your smiling face



I was able to hold you close

Even just for a mere second

And smile a true smile for you

And be near you once again



It makes me happy

That I was there with you

On your special day

It's what I've been waiting for



I saw you walk by

With a smile on your face

I've been waiting so long

To see you smile at me



For every picture you held me close

My heart sped faster and faster

I did not take the chance to hold you back

Since I was too shocked to say a word



I know this does not mean anything to you

But to me it meant everything

Feelings have changed

But my longing for you hasn't



Things will never be the same

I have come to realize

Though deep in my mind

I wish for you to return



Friends is wonderful

Lovers is spectacular

Though if friendship is all I get

I will take that with a smile



You mean the world to me

Though things have changed

My heart still beats for you

And sings our song



I continue to think

About our past

And what will come in the future

And it makes me happy



To be your friend

Is a marvelous thing

I will hold it close

And never let go



Thank for everything

My dear dear friend

Please forgive me for all my wrongs

And forever be my friend

I sit and wait

While your love comes to hate

And your trust turns to betrayal



The water beats down

On my tear stained face

And I close my eyes to think



The heat starts to build

My balance is lost

And I start to fall to my knees



My heart races

As I think of the past

And I clench my fists



This pain I feel

Is most unbearable

And I cannot take it anymore



Why is it that I

Can never find the right guy

And keep him by my side?



They lie they use that hate

Why not just drown me in the lake

And maybe then I'll find peace



You see this pain

You push past it

And you found the real me



You found what I like

You found what I hate

And you threw it all in my face



I like this feeling

That I have when I'm with you

And I don't know how to describe it



You insult you complain

You kiss me gently

And hold me tight



I don't know what else to say

But I have a person

And he is so much fun ^__^