I look in your eyes and I see hate
I hold your hand and I feel tension
I hear your voice and I cry
I see you walk by and I die
Forget me...
Forget everything...
Forget the past...
Forget the memories...
Why does it matter?
Why do I try?
Why am I so foolish?
Why can't I die?
This face you see
This heart you broke
This hand you held
This soul you stole
Kill me now
Kill me swiftly
Kill me quickly
Kill me steadily
Love does not exist
Love is hate
Love only kills
Love tears us apart
Friends you say?
Friends don't lie
Friends don't cheat
Friends don't exist
Hate is what I feel
Hate is what I am
Hate is what you express
Hate is my love
Goodbye yesterday
Goodbye today
Goodbye tomorrow
Goodbye forever
The sun sets
And yet I am alone
The seat beside me empty
And cool to the touch
When will I have
That special something
That I have been longing for?
When will this empty seat here
Be warm once again
And become occupied
By the one special thing
That I have been longing for
I have looked and looked
Yet found nothing in sight
When will this pain inside
Subside with love
And recieve the love it needs
"When will they learn?"
My heart cries out
"Why cant they see
"That they are hurting me
"Pushing and shoving
"Tearing and breaking
"When will they ever learn
"That they are killing me?"
Clawing and stabbing
Tearing and shredding
I think to myself
When will they learn?
The cool breeze caresses my warm cheeks
As I sit here watching the sun set
The sky looking like blue purple and pink cotton candy
To my surprise I feel a gentle nudge
A handsome stranger smiles down at me
I smile back nervously and let him sit beside me
We exchange hellos and converse about ourselves
As he talks I cannot help but notice
The perfection of his skin that makes you want to reach out and touch it
His beautiful golden brown eyes that shimmer in the light
His mahogany hair glistening in the setting sun
His handsome smile that always seems to be there
Shivers go down my spine as he talks
And butterflies fill my stomach
Moments of silence pass as we stare out to the horizon
Simultaneously we face each other and blurt out words
Completely embarassed we look away
He speaks first and mutters out "Will you go out to dinner with me?"
I nervously nod my head and slowly slide to his side
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and hugs me slightly
I smile to myself and lean my head on his shoulder
We watch the sun set in silence
And the seagulls crying above us
The breeze increases and i start to shiver
He holds me closer and rests his head on mine
The wind blows and my nose is filled with his sweet scent of his after shave
The sun slowly sinks into the horizon
And we are left in the dark in each others arms
A cell phone rings and we both jump
Laughing nervously we both stand up
We give one another our numbers and nervously hug
Walking our separate ways I cannot help but smile to myself
Today was a good day
For once in my lifetime
I was not alone.
As the falling rain
trickles among the stones
memories come bubbling out.
It’s as if the rain
had pierced my temples.
Streaming
streaming chaotically
come memories:
the reedy voice
of the servant
telling me tales
of ghosts.
They sat beside me
the ghosts
and the bed creaked
that purple-dark afternoon
when I learned you were leaving forever,
a gleaming pebble
from constant rubbing
becomes a comet.
Rain is falling
falling
and memories keep flooding by
they show me a senseless
world
a voracious
world--abyss
ambush
whirlwind
spur
but I keep loving it
because I do
because of my five senses
because of my amazement
because every morning,
because forever, I have loved it
without knowing why.
Who has seen the wind?
Neither I nor you.
But when the leaves hang trembling,
The wind is passing through.
Who has seen the wind?
Neither you nor I.
But when the trees bow down their heads,
The wind is passing by.
I never claimed night fathered me.
that was my dead brother talking in his sleep.
I keep him under my pillow,
a dear wish that colors my laughing and crying
I never said the wind, remembering nothing,
leaves so many rooms unaccounted for,
continual farewell must ransom
the unmistakable fragrance our human days afford.
It was my brother, little candle in the pulpit,
reading out loud to all of earth
from the book of night.
He died too young to learn his name.
Now he answers to Vacant Boat,
Burning Wing, My Black Petal.
Ask him who his mother is. He’ll declare the birds
have eaten the path home, but each of us
joins night’s ongoing story
wherever night overtakes him,
the heart astonished to find belonging
and thanks answering thanks.
Ask if he’s hungry or thirsty,
he’ll say he’s the bread come to pass
and draw you a map
to the twelve secret hips of honey.
Does someone want to know the way to spring?
He’ll remind you
the flower was never meant to survive
the fruit’s triumph.
He says an apple’s most secret cargo
is the enduring odor of a human childhood,
our mother’s linen pressed and stored, our father’s voice
walking through the rooms.
He says he’s forgiven our sister
for playing dead and making him cry
those afternoons we were left alone in the house.
And when clocks frighten me with their long hair,
and when I spy the wind’s numerous hands
in the orchard unfastening
first the petals from the buds,
then the perfume from the flesh,
my dead brother ministers to me. His voice
weighs nothing
but the far years between
stars in their massive dying,
and I grow quiet hearing
how many of both of our tomorrows
lie waiting inside it to be born.
When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.
The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow-- I
t felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame;
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.
They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o’er me--
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well--
Long, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.
In secret we met--
In silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?--
With silence and tears.
A little old fashion..but thats ok ^_^
Against the stone breakwater,
Only an ominous lapping,
While the wind whines overhead,
Coming down from the mountain,
Whistling between the arbors, the winding terraces;
A thin whine of wires, a rattling and flapping of leaves,
And the small street-lamp swinging and slamming against
the lamp pole.
Where have the people gone?
There is one light on the mountain.
Along the sea-wall, a steady sloshing of the swell,
The waves not yet high, but even,
Coming closer and closer upon each other;
A fine fume of rain driving in from the sea,
Riddling the sand, like a wide spray of buckshot,
The wind from the sea and the wind from the mountain contending,
Flicking the foam from the whitecaps straight upward into the darkness.
A time to go home!--
And a child’s dirty shift billows upward out of an alley,
A cat runs from the wind as we do,
Between the whitening trees, up Santa Lucia,
Where the heavy door unlocks,
And our breath comes more easy,--
Then a crack of thunder, and the black rain runs over us, over
The flat-roofed houses, coming down in gusts, beating
The walls, the slatted windows, driving
The last watcher indoors, moving the card players closer
To their cards, their anisette.
We creep to our bed, and its straw mattress.
We wait; we listen.
The storm lulls off, then redoubles,
Bending the trees half-way down to the ground,
Shaking loose the last wizened oranges in the orchard,
Flattening the limber carnations.
A spider eases himself down from a swaying light-bulb,
Running over the coverlet, down under the iron bedstead.
The bulb goes on and off, weakly.
Water roars into the cistern.
We lie closer on the gritty pillow,
Breathing heavily, hoping--
For the great last leap of the wave over the breakwater,
The flat boom on the beach of the towering sea-swell,
The sudden shudder as the jutting sea-cliff collapses,
And the hurricane drives the dead straw into the living pine-tree.
Here I stand alone
Breathing in the cool night air
I feel at ease when my muscles relax
A small smile upon my face
All my troubles seem to temporarily vanish
Leaving me light and cheerful
Howls fill my head
My nerves are calmed
The smell of misery
Has made its appearance this night
The sickening stench
That I have grown to know
Hatred stabs my stomach
As I stand there helpless
Unable to fight back
The disappointment in myself overwhelms me
I continue to curse myself.
I start to fall
Into a grave I can not bury myself out of
My body rejects my demands
As I fall deeper into my grave
I reached for your hand
You just backed away and stared
With my dead heart unbeating
What is the point?
You denied me physically and emotionally
What is left for me here?
I glanced at you once more,
Closed my eyes
And continued to fall.
As I closed my eyes
I saw you reach out
You were too late.
Now you can only stand there
And wish that you could have held me sooner
Held me so dear and never let go.
You will never get the chance now.
Are you happy with yourself?
No.
Because you let your love fall to her death.
Now stand there fool
And watch me die
Watch me fall into the nothingness
You can only dream and wish
That you could have me back
But you took the opposite road.
Now what will you do?
You let me fall.
You never tried.
I fell to my death
In this forsaken grave
I died in front of you
And you watched in terror
As your loves soul was
ripped, torn, and devoured by misery.
I am deprived
Of the love I wish to have
The feelings are passed on
Never to be mutual
Mixed deelings sent
My heart and soul torn
Feelings never surpass
Like the sun shining bright on the darkest night
Or the stars glowing on the brightest day
Your hatred is a cannibal
Devouring me inside and out
To walk beside you
Is the destiny I seek
Your seat beside me
Is cold and vacant
Will it ever be warm again?
What if I say "Please"?
**This one was supposed to be going somewhere..then I just got a little distracted..lol
The stars in the sky
Are luminous and catching
Looking high above
I stare in wonderment and bliss
This strange feeling
Has awakened deep within me
This pleasureable feeling
Has taken me away
It has captured my soul
And gave me wings
I fly high above to the stars
And hiver with delight
The stars smile radiantly
They make me feel untouchable
Up here with the stars and moon
I feel invincible
I can conquer anything
These stars are my friends
Backing me up through it all
Holding me high before I fall.
**Its so hard to write a happy poem..>__>
You threw me demons
You threw me spears
You threw me glass shards
You threw me daggers
You have shown me hatred
This present feeling
Is anything but pleasant
Daggers in my heart
Is how I live now
Your hatred is a cannibal
Devouring me whole
Your ignorance is hurtful
Though I continue to stand here
With open arms for you
You have shown me hatred
And I cower in fear
Your cannibalism is destructive
You plow your way through
One by one and two by two
Spreading your hatred
Hitting everyone with your daggers
You truly are a cannibal
Just chew me up and spit me out
Not like it matters
You and your hatred have done enough
You have torn apart my heart
Torn apart my soul
You have taken my will to live
Your hatred is contagious
Because now I hate myself
And all that I stand for.
Now what will you do?
This is dedicated to all my dearest friends
A friend is loving
A friend is truthful
A friend is always there by your side.
A friend is understanding
Friends listen to everything you say
And they will always have your back.
A friend is accepting
Take you as you are
And will never leave you behind in the dark.
A friend is tender
Sensitve to your feelings
And will never turn you or your troubles away.
A friend is a special person
Who, no matter what time
Will come to you in your time of need.
A friend is something important
A great friend is an incredible being
A best friend is platinum and only comes once in a lifetime.
A friend is someone to hold onto forever
Do not let them go
Not even for a second.
~~~Little side note~~~
Do you have a best friend?
Tell them how much you appreciate them and what they do for you.
Tell them how much you love them.
Tell them quick, because you may lose your chance.
There is no telling when you may lose a dear friend.
It can happen at anytime.
Death doesn’t care who you are.
If it has the chance, it will take you by surprise.
Tell those dearest to you that you love them and would do anything for them.
Be honest with them.
If you have a friend like I do, hold on to them with your life.
Do NOT let them go.
I have lost too many dear friends to lose any others.
So do yourself and God a favor and tell your dearest friends how much you love them.
Do it for me.
Please?
A gentle breeze caresses my cheek
As I stare out into the open;
Nothing but open fields and trees.
There are owls hooting themselves away
Bats screeching as they prey
Crickets chirping for their mates
In the distance you can hear the dogs barking
The sweet smell of the night
And the damp grass fills my nose
Its sweet scent flowing through me.
I walk through the freshly cut grass
Humming my little tune
Running my fingers along the flower petals
The cool sweet dew clinging to my warm fingertips
Letting the heavier water droplets fall to the ground
Making the glass look like a broken chandelier
A twinkle and glisten here
A shimmer and glimmer there.
The full moon casts out its beauty from high above
Glowing blissfully to the little creatures down below
The stars make their appearance
As they hover so high
Those untouchable beings
They show off their beauty to all that glance up
And are just ever so slightly out of our reach
In my bed I lie
As tears stain my cool pale skin
And a smile upon my lips
That is all but a memory now
Because that is all it is meant to be
Nothing but a little memory
And a wasted dream
I close my eyes
With the same smile upon my cold lips
And slowly I slip away
With the knowledge that soon
This dream will come again
And this time I will not be alone
My Father will be beside me
As we silently watch over you
Forever more from Heaven’s Garden
He stabs me here
He stabs me there
Being cheated is normal to me
From what I thought was once real
T’was nothing but a dream
All the pleasures
All the love
All the conversing
And all the understanding
Was it all a lie?
Was I just a part of your sick scheme?
This is not new however
Encountering these feelings
You have done the worst for me
Bringing out and crushing what was already terribly wounded
Do you not see that?
Did you think I was lying?
Death is no joke.
You are trying to break this bond
A bond so strong willed
Can you not see me falling apart?
Of course not
You do not care like you used to
What happened?
I caused my own death
You do nothing
You do not even care
I lie here dying
While you just sat there and watched
Please forgive thee
Thy dear sweet love
As I lie here alone
Wishing for your company
My chest is tight
And I struggle for air
Please hold me close
When I take in my last breath
The pain is harsh
I try to hold on
But I am slipping fast
Into an unknown world
Please forgive thee
Thy dear sweet love
As I die here
In your arms at last
This is not the only time
I wished for you to hold me
It is an endless wish
That is said every day
Now hold me close my dear
When I take in my dying breath
And I say goodbye to you
My one true love
Please forgive thee
As I do not wish to say
How I hoped for this day to come
And you holding me in your arms
Please forgive thee
I do not wish to die
Without you here by my side
As the lover I wished for you to be
I say now my love
With my dying breath
My heartfelt goodbye
And our parting kiss
Do not cry my love
For you shall see me again
In your dreams and in heaven
Waiting for your embrace and kiss
Listen closely my love
Listen carefully to what I say
"Please forgive thee
Thy dearest friend and love
For I have broken my promise to you."
My life is changing
But still I am here
Waiting for his reason
Why do I still breathe?
Why do I still walk?
Why am I still alive?
Does he enjoy watching this?
Does he enjoy watching me suffer?
Does he enjoy my pain?
Laying on my bed
I sit and wait
For his word
Why does it take so long?
His word to live?
How long must I wait?
Unbearable if you must
But this I cannot take
Please leave me alone
Why must you torture me?
You and your wicked ways
Just leave me alone
This feeling is gone
What I thought was there
How could I be deceived like this?
If I let you fall
Will you cry out my name?
Or just fall screaming a quiet scream?
Just leave me alone
Before you cause any more pain
Because you have done enough
You are like a fatal disease
That will never be cured
But this disease is rare
This disease is called Love
A rare find
A virus we all wish to catch
I have to get away
Away from all this chaos
And away from you
Just leave me alone
And let me be
Do not hurt me anymore
Just please stay away from me
I do not wish to be hurt
I just want to be alone
The way you look at me
The way you talk to me
The way you hug me
They way you smile at me
I feel like I can float
In the deepest of waters
I feel like I can fly
In the highest altitude
I feel like I can soar
Like an eagle in the sky
Your hugs send me flying high
Your kisses make my heart grow wings
Your touch sends the darkest of shadows to hell
Your smile makes me blush and giggle
What is it about you
That makes me feel like this?
Why is it I cannot stay mad at you?
Just looking at you makes me smile
What is it about you
That sends me soaring?
Why is it I can see through your shell?
And love you through and through
The clouds are beneath my feet
They bow to what stands before them
A new kind of feeling
This unknown feeling
This incredible feeling
That means so much to some
And completely pointless to others
Why can I not find this feeling?
I seem to be lost
Lost in my own little world
Oblivious to others
Hurting others
Pushing them, ignoring them
They all need this feeling
In order to live on
We cannot be alive without it
This feeling....
This incredible feeling...
How can I find this feeling?
Where can I find it?
I did find it though
I found it in an incredible person
This person I would love for all time
The person I found trust and hope in
Maybe this feeling does exist!
Maybe I can find it!
All I have to do
Is open myself to it
Love...
All you need is love...
Love will set you free of all misery
Doubt and pain
Love...
The strongest feeling known to man...
The feeling I am longing to find
And have in return
**I love him
And all my friends
I tell them that everyday
They mean the world to me
And I would not be alive today
If it were not for them
I would kill and die for them
I love you all!!!
Why can you not see
What you are doing to me?
All this hurt and ignorance
Hatred and anger
They all stand there
Judging and hating
While I stand here alone
Waiting to be noticed
Among the few I thought cared
You say you care
But can you prove it?
How can you see
What this has done to me
You walk from door to door
Window to window
Searching for the one you want
Others stand out
But yet I am the most
Heartfelt pieces of art
You will ever encounter
Though you do not care
For such things as this
You walk right by
With no more than
A greeting glance
My heart is shattered
Into what is called art
The floor is decorated
In my bloody tears
And my spirit
Leaving pictures on the floor
Letting all who walk by
See what you have done
You are oblivious
As to what you have done
You just walk on by
To the next source of use
All this art work on these walls
A wonderful artist you have become
Yet you still cannot see
The piece of art work
That has meaningful words
You just walk on by
Not caring what is inside
Only what you see
As you pass I think
Why did I expect more from
A wonderful guy like you?
To this day I still do not know why
I cannot see my own words
That I tell others who listen
I am nothing to you
But a stained glass window.
Silver colored roses
Red tipped blades
And yellow spotted turles
All seem to flaunt their beauty
As they dazzle my dull eyes
Bringing them back to life.
The cold breeze sneaks its way in
Kissing my luke warm nose
Leaving me filled with wonder and hope
That even the coldest of hearts
Still have an affect
Upon this beating heart.
Daises, tulips and orchids
All gently caress my bare feet
Lovingly welcome me to their home
I am but a mere guest
But treated like family.
If only life could be so sweet.
This is too hard
This is too painful
This is too unforgetful
Like thorns in my chest
Pulling, tearing, shredding my insides
Till nothing is left
But a bloody pulp.
Echoes of laughter fill my skull
Sounding oh so familiar
A low cackle finishes off the echoes
My rolling eyes try to focus
On what used to be love
Must be double vision
For there are two of him
Not just one.
A high pitch laugh
Scrapes and scratches at my ear drums
But is silenced as quickly as it began
My eyes focused
For but a mere second
And the sight brought upon a smile.
He was covered in blood
The bitches blood he has shed
He smiles at me
Takes my hand into his
And kisses it ever so kindly.
He stands up straight
His stance wide
And his shoulders broad
He raises his blade
With his truly strong arms
And whispered a little something
That I will hold with me forever
"Goodbye my darling.
I truly did love you.
This just was not meant to be."
I never had the time
To say my goodbye
Only a longing expression
As he quickly rushed
His silver cut blade
Into my dying heart
And we both shed tears
In my last moments of life
While I bled my life away.
This pain
Is something I cannot stand
This pain
Is more than I can bare
This pain
I cannot fight it alone
This pain I feel
Is death
My will to move
Grows weaker by the day
My breath
Comes in shallow gasps
My heart
Can only beat so long
My skin
Grows colder by the minute
My love
Has run away from me
My friends
Can only feel so much
My body
Gets the full blow
My life
Is hanging by a thread
This pain
Is over powering my will
Can you see it
The shadow of death that hovers over me?
This pain
This wretched pain
Shall devour my heart
Shall conquer my soul
Shall steal my life
And claim my love
Leaving me alone
A lone body
Left to rot
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