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I don't think I will ever stop writing love notes to my true angel. I try to hide them in various places and ways. Today I got lucky and found a wonderful first anniversary present for her. It is a wee bit early, but I waited as long as I could. I am so lucky and blessed.

Every day I feel I need to do more, be better, work harder, try to explain myself more clearly. I need to do what may be impossible, but I need it with every drop of strength in my soul. I try to be a better husband and father, but I am not anywhere close to what my wife and son deserve. I know neither one is completely happy, and until I can make them both happy I must strive harder. I have been told by many professional people that it is impossible to make another person happy. But they are all wrong. My two angels have made me happy, after a lifetime of depression and pain. Even admitting that I am a selfish, rotten, blackhearted sociopath, how can I help but try to be something better. I must never let them down.

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Zorro4u
03:11 Aug 12 2018

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I think that many of the words in the English language have lost their intended meaning. Hearing people say " I love you" as a hello, goodbye, see ya later, or get away from me I need space. It diminishes the true concept of love. Evil is another lost word. When you find YouTube videos of a police officer punching a handicapped teenager in the face, or read of police shooting a veteran bronze medal and purple heart recipient to death because he didn't hear what they said. How can you tell what is evil? Religions with millions of people following and believing and giving of their lives, are following liars and frauds. Changing even the name and intentions of the very word of God, just for power and neon gods of this world. Our own governments which many trust to ensure their way of life, pissing away tax money to intentionally not raise the standard of living. Evil done in the name of any God or gods is still evil.

Few things scare my 8 year old son more than needles and shots. Yesterday I had to go get a shot. As we pull up to the medical building, to reassure him that the shot was for me not him, I pretend to be afraid. In an act of bravery beyond anything I ever expected, he tells me " Don't be scared, I will get a shot with you". So mommy waited in the car and my brave boy headed into the doctors office with me. How much luckier can a dad get than that? I felt like the Grinch on the mountain top as my heart swelled with love and pride. He even walked up to the bench I had to lean over for the shot. His eyes were the size of tea cups when he saw the size of the needle, and he sat very well on a chair giving me moral support. He and his mommy are my angels. I don't know how it happened, but somehow I am living the dream of love and joy that I thought could only happen in a book.