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This movie Blew Chunks! no plot line, bad acting, the only good part was the black Zombie and the hooker chick, the gore was even horrid!... Anyone else find this movie seriously lacking

#10 Life is sexually transmitted.



#9 Good health is merely the slowest

rate at which one can die.



#8 Men have two emotions:

Hungry and Horny.

If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.



#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;

teach a person to use the internet and

they won't bother you for weeks.



#6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile

when you shove them down the stairs.



#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,

lying in the hospital dying of nothing.



#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather.

It pays no attention to criticism.



#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents???



#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.



AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007:

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't a clue as to where thousands terrorists are located.

Maybe we should give them all a cow!!

So yesturday my voice left and today I have to voice and I am congested! I hate being sick! Although I should be used to it... I'm always sick lately my doctor says that my immune system has crashed... my throat is so swollen I nearly choked on my cold pills...



I have come to the conclusion that if I cannot get shit in order than I will be dead by Christmas... I can't help it... Its just probably going to be a heart attack

A Girls First Time



As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.



He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.



He has had more experience, but it's the first time his



finger has found the right place.



He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.



He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.



His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.



Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.



After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over.



He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.















You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.