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So thursday I almost fainted in ceramics. I had to leave like three tims in the class because I was about to blow chunks. I just left early and driving home was scary. That night I got no sleep and lets just say it was a very painful night. I spent most of it in a hot bath, :[ . Awake kinda.



Friday the party was awesome, but I was on a lot of pain medicine. I'd dance a lil...talk..lay down...dance...talk..lay down..I passed out around 11pm..most the people didnt leave til like 3am..Im such a good host.



Yesterday My mom made me go to the doctor, she wanted me go friday but i told her a couldnt bc of the party. :/



I hate doctors, and what im going through ive gone through before and i knew what they'd do.



They women took my pulse and she looked at me and she said" you nervous honey?" lol.



I'm not going in to detail on whats wrong with me, because its gross, I have a cyst on my lower back and just know it hurts like a bitch.



Anyway, they had get the infection out which means i had about ten shots, got cut, they had the push the infection out, then a nice shot in the ass of antibiotics.



To say I was in pain, whould not describe my day.



But they gave me good pain medication, so I dont feel anything. I guess they thought they owed it to me after they tortured me.



:[



Ive had a very bad week.

I can't beliveve her.



We called my mom today to see how she was.

And she told us Dennis got her a early christmas gift.

and engagement ring.



I can't decide if i want to cry or barf.



a fucking year? a year? and you decide you want to marry a stranger.



Not to be evil, or really typical.



But.

My mom promised me two reasons why she would never get remarrried after my father.

1)- " I hate men, I want nothing to do with them anymore"...lie.

2)- She said she didn't want someone getting her life issurance.



its evil i know.

But my mom has that. After my dad died we were to get it split between me and my sisters.

Now, he'll get it all.



It boils me blood, I dont want my mom to die, I love her dearly, she's my heart. But it disgust me to know that a man she met a year ago will get everything she left to us.



he's already taken her from me, now this.

we already never get to see her. People are evil what if he's using her for it.

I trust no one.



I feel betrayed. I was ok with her dating, but engagement is an insult. It was a year MAYBE four weeks ago. And she already has another husband on the way.



I hate this.



I don't understand...



:[

Its fucking cold as hell.



ha ha.



I feel sick. I cooked some pancakes this morning an di dont think i did it right. :/



I didnt get a part in the play, im not sure if i said that already. I went back to call backs bc the first night i didnt get to read, and I sat there all night and i got to read once. lol. EIther Im invisible, or Dr.Dan hates me. lol. I just want to work on the sets anyway. gah.





I took some really cool shots yesterday at this old burned down house. Pretty cool.



Im suppose to be getting stuff ready for my parteh, but..im lazy..i dont even feel like having it...people..in...my..house..eek.



hmmm.

Yesterday my english teacher was reading some of our paper sto the class, and she picked mine. Which lead to me hiding in the back under my jacket. She mis-pronounced rammstein and stuff but i didnt bother on correcting her. Its cool that she read it, but still scary.



So the past two days ive sat a try outs for a christmas Carol. lol. I didnt get to read the first night so i got called back and lastnight he called me to read the very last girl part. and then told us to go home. lol. Waste of time? eh. I just want to work on props and sets anyway.



My ceramic project has gone to shit. I really want to bash it.

The past week has been so crazy. Lastnight was the first night I stayed at my own house. Not that i dont mind being away from this place.



Tonight is goind to be very awesome.









yay i get to stand on the street corner in the cold night til 8 pm.





No not being a seller of flesh either :/

So the past week ive been being a freeloader.



Well kinda, I was asked to live at kait's house for a week. So it's just as good minus the whole...bad stuff.



Mal's Family left me with their house til monday. So now I have two houses to stay at. Very cool. Very complicated. I have to feed their horse and crap.



My ceramics project is due on the 16th and I almost smashed it yesterday. It pissed me off. lol. :[ I tried to make a cute lil box that resembled the parthenon (sp?) but had murals of astrology on the sides. The clay kept tearing and my nails kept cutting it...gah.



We went ad saw the new Texas Chainsaw Masscre. It was ok, gave me ideas for my party.



Tonight I get to go to the fair again. Eh. Weird carnies from south Africa.



blah blah blah blah.



omgz yeah yeah yeahs in two days and art museum.



:D

I did a very drastic thing yesterday.





I got bangs.



yep.



I look like a doll now.



eeek.



I got mistaken for a middle scholler yesterday.



:[



crap.

today sucked.





really bad.





I think everyone pissed me off in some way.





I hate happy people.



lol.



kidder.



Hmmm.

grr. The one day i decide to skip class, i am reminded afterward my I have an exam in that class next week. I REALLY hope its not monday. That would suck big time. >



I have homework and stuff.



But ive been looking for artwork fo rmy fylers for my party.



and oh my goddess.



I have found some AMAZING Artist.



I lurv their stuff.



Jason Felix

Chad Micheal Ward

Beth Bejema

Timothy Lantz

Pete Mihaichuk

CHARLI SIEBERT

ZACH PENNINGTON



I have serious alomost spent my whole day looking at their stuff.



eek