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Hmm, so much going on. I kinda loose track of time, I forget what day it is, or when stuff happened. In a way it's a good thing, but I forget to do stuff, and by the time I remember to do it it's two weeks later.



I'm kinda seeing someone, but they leave in two weeks. Which is fustrating, since they live so far away. Smart Danielle would of stayed in the clear, but well, I never listen to my own advice. I'm just trying to live in th mind set of "what will be, will be" People go in and out of your life all the time, no reason to get all upset when they go. I knew he was leaving, so blah. It's been nice though, I thought over the past year I would never feel like this again, I know silly and dramatic, but I kept myself open and only found people who I saw nothing in. Then I meet this person, and we are a lot a like, but very very different. He's not what usually date, maybe that's why I find him so interesting. New topics to discuss, teach me things I don't know, etc. He treats me so nice, it's unsual since my boys usually don't. It's weird, since we've been whatever... we've spent every night together, minus that one night I was really drunk and blacked out and my roommate told him to leave me, lol, haha but yeah, and it's cute and sweet. Of course with me, being paranoid and trust issues, I question everything, but so far he really hasn't given me a reason. It's so weird, I like it. Just sad that it has a expiration date.



Oh summer flings, I feel like I'm in Grease.



Home life is shambles so I hear. Makes me happy that I'm away, it also makes me want to stay here. Away from all my demons. People keep telling me to do stuff for myself, and I always say i live for myself, but in reality I don't. I do somethings for myself, but most of my choices are made in full consideration of others, like going back to Ga for my bff, or going to certain schools, I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings or loose what few good people I know, but what am I loosing for myself. And people say, oh do what's best for you, but if you do do that, they guilt trip you.



Sometimes I just want to get out of this society, obsessed with money and greed. I don't want my life, my little existance wasted on meaningless things. I feel like the world has lost it's purpose, we've become so obsessed with material things, and power that we blinded ourselves to simple things like watching the sunset, or seeing earth, or just simply having quite conversations with another person. We work for money to buy things or pay for things, to pay to live, to pay to die. I just don't understand why we have let ourselves get so far away. When we die, and look back, what will we have? a house, cars, bullshit. When did we reach nirvana, or expierence something amazing in a technology stripped enviroment. If i could I'd go back to living in the woods, hunting and farming. Don't get me wrong I like modern life, but somedays I feel like it's not really what we put here for.



with that, all these material things, techonology etc, will be our death. Our earth is destroying itself, and no one cares. No goverment will be able to save us, and no one is really understanding that. This is bigger then that, people dont care they want their big cars, flashy rims, big houses full of stupid things, and one day it will be washed away and they'll only have themselves to blame.





haha. I write the weirdest shit. Lastly, NIN cover of Dead Souls, is beautiful.

I'm very freaked out at the moment, I work at WDW. I ride the monorails all the time. Working here, I know how much we check, and double check and update everything that could possibley harm an employee or guest. Are I.d have our phrase, "SafeD begins with me".



I am beyond freaked out because, last week Kenna flew down to visit me for the day, she flies for free and I was off. The cheap thing to do here is resort hop, so we did that. We were resoting hopping around the three hotels around Magic kingdom, which are all connected by a Monorail. We were at the Grand Floridan station this super snazy hotel, and me and her have this thing when we see a cute boy we call them our "boyrfriend". Well the guy working the station was singing to himself, completely obivious that guest were watching him, which was funny cause we werent really guest, well Im not. He was cute too, and so me and Kenna decided that was her Monorail boyfriend, we joked about just staying at the station and stalking him or find some problem to make him help us with. Stupid crap like that. On our way to board, we checked his nametag, to see if he was a CP and we were going to find him on myspace or something to see if he was single. Random joke thing. His name was Austin from Kissimmee FL. I told kenna he must be a full time or part timer, cause it didnt have his college. and after ward we talked about her visiting and having to find him again.



next night, Me and my friend Steve went to MK to play, we parked at the Polynesian (one of three hotels) and took the monorail to Mk. At teh station I saw Austin again, and I texted kenna and was like " I just saw your monorail boyfriend!" I was odd to actually see him agian in such a short time.



There are a lot of employees that work the monorail, I've never seen one twice. I ride them all the time, and I remember faces.



So you can imagine how sad, and freaked out I am to find out, that yesterday at 2am, the first monorail to ever crash, the first death i believe on the rails, happens to be Our Austin. The random guy we saw lastweek.



what is even more eerie and has me up, and in tears, is that right before kenna left on tuesday we went to eat, and got stuck in teh rain, we played this game called mash. It's a game you play when your in like grade school when your 10. It's a fake fortune telling game that predicts your husabnd, job, kids, car, death etc. There are four opyions in each catagorie, I pick three and teh person reading picks one (so you neverget perfect). Kenna picked that Id die in a monorail accident. and I ended up getting it, this was last tuesday, and I said, "Well the odds are in my favor since no one has ever died on teh monorails."



then this. with our Austin. I'm so freaked out. It's so random, such a cowindence. Its bothered me all day, in my head constantly. What if it was a sign, or something beyond reality. The chances of catching the name of a random employee in an area with a rotating cast of like a 100 employees, the oddness of writing that down, and then four days later that random person dying.



I'm just so freaked out. My deepest sympathy goes out to the Wuennenberg family. He was only 21, and had so much going for him. I'm so sorry that this happen.



they havent said what happened. Like I said, the drivers of the rails are in control, but we have back up saftey systems, there is a safety system that doesnt let two trains get within a 200 feet radius of each other. It automatically stops them. It failed lastnight. It's never failed. They always stop.



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