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Well this week has been trying.

My confidence was smashed

My ego was raped and battered

The battle between my heart and mind was bloody and neither won.

Monday: I decided I wanted laser hair removal. I wanted a full Brazilian done, I have super sensitive skin and I thought "hey no hair = no shaving = no irritated ugly skin I mean who doesn't want a pretty snatch?" So I go check it out. The pricing was more than I expected but the monthly didn't seem like anything I couldnt handle. So what the hell?? I did it! I got the first treatment.....hurt like a mf....not sure how ladies go through with a clit piercing.

Well this just sets the stage for the week. Not to mention I spent the evening with a particular someone and friends

Wednesday: I tried to buy a brand new car. I had already done some previous research and pricing with a sales guy at Nissan. Today I went in and he's no longer there. So a different guy takes over and I'm cool with it.

1. I knew exactly what I wanted

2. I knew the deal I wanted on a special that was going on: with 2800 down you got around a 180 something monthly payment

3.I knew my credit was good

4. If my dad signed with me I got his employee discount

I didn't think things would go so wrong

Well apparently every new young adult should already have a car payment history. (That was against me)

My dad has TERRIBLE credit (that was against me)

They didn't have the exact car I wanted and they want me to pay 459/mo for it.

They said the bank wouldn't approve me for the exact car I wanted but used or certified pre owned (what sense does that make) Corporate America being greedy and online financing for the new.

I was there by myself( that was against me)

Even with me calling my father in on the phone was NO help.

So much going down and sideways and so quickly I couldnt catch a breath.

I quickly because a scared little girl.

No one was in my corner: not mom (who decided to nag me for money in the middle of me being pounded with numbers that weren't the ones I wanted to hear) not dad, not my boyfriend, nor his mother at first

The only reason I walked out of there was because of him, he told me to stay calm not to do it and that he would help me. And he did shortly after I left he found me a car that has everything that I wanted for a decent price said he would go with me to check it out.

So I didn't get a brand new Nissan Sentra like I wanted and I cried so hard to my boyfriend to uncork the bottled sensation of being overwhelmed.

Friday: apartment shopping day with the boyfriend. We left late and on his own decision we drove straight to one apartment complex that he thought made the most sense to lease with.

I swallowed and took that, though I think it's always best to view all options and then select.

Needless to say I left unhappy because it's not the floor plan I thought was best for us and instead of renegotiating with me he made the decision to go with the floor plan he wanted.

He didn't include me in any of the conversations with his parents, insurance representative, the lease representative or even to tell me his own thoughts except to yell at me.



Come to find out everyone is pissed off that I decided to get laser hair removal. It is now my fault that finances won't work out as planned. He told his parents my business. It's no one's damn business what I decide to do with my body!



Today: I found out I can't receive my textbooks so I will begin graduate school behind.



So here I am angry, confused and mending the wounds to my ego and confidence. I seriously wonder if moving for him is now worth it. I'm not one that handles decisions being made for me very well at all.

Part of me can't help but wonder if the other would treat me or any girlfriend or wife of his this way