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It feels good to be back,

to flex my fangs and feed.

I have missed this website,

I have missed the people.

I have missed the conversations.

I miss you, those who are friends

I miss those who think they are my lovers.

I miss those that have yet to know me.

You don't want me

He doesn't want me

So why bother for either of you??

I can't bare to leave you and I think I only want him because you don't want me so that's not true affection, now is it?

So basically I've become pathetic.



I just want someone to love ME and love ALL of me.

I want someone completely devoted to OUR relationship.

Of course I want someone devoted to me but what I want more is someone that will help guide me to make them happy as well. Just because I'm high maintenance doesn't mean I want it all about me.



Love is a partnership, it's equal.

So I want a partner, I want a lover that loves himself as much as he loves me.



Speak my love language, just try! You'll be fluent in mine and I'll be fluent in yours and our love tanks will never empty.

I'm nearly at that point

I'm so close to taking action and bitching about it later.

Now I'm mad.

I'm angry that he is failing time and time again this lesson of balance, of time management of life management.

I am almost out of recommendations to help him help us.

He doesn't listen to any of them, he doesn't listen to me! Period!

I cannot tolerate not being heard.

I'm not usually as subtle as a gun but I have to be now. It's the only way I can get a speck of attention.

I've always been reasonably high maintenance (yes there's such a thing) so it probably won't change.

But there is no excuse from deteriorating from attentive and understanding to neglectful and apathetic.

There were several reasons I was always opposed of dating military men...until I met you.

Now you are turning into some of those reasons and soon, if you don't change; I may end up hating you and myself in end.

I will hate us because neither one of us will be who I thought we would be.

You've made it hard to even pretend to be happy.

You've made it so hard and I hate you for it because you won't even let me help you!

You won't let me help us!

What the hell am I doing??