I can never escape. You made me happy. You made me feel like I could actually trust someone completely, without fear of being left alone...without fear of being abandoned. You made me laugh when I wanted to cry, and you made me smile when I wanted to frown. Every night I wake up expecting to see a message from you...every morning I think, maybe today you'll come back to me. But no...you're doing fine without me. I imagine you laughing and smiling, and going to sleep without a single thought of "I wonder if she's okay." It's been 2 weeks...maybe 3. I dont know. I dont keep track of the time anymore. Everything is a blurry mess...I dream of you. Saying things like you're sorry and you miss me and you still love me and you never meant to hurt me...but I know that will never happen. It was your choice to leave me, to forget about me like I was nothing to lose...it hurts. I'm in so much pain. But you dont care. You're with your friends, I think joking with them and having fun...and what am I doing? Nothing...I wake up, I check my phone. Nothing. I brush my teeth and wash my face...I check my phone. Nothing. I clean my room, fix the bed and sweep the floor. I check my phone. Nothing. I dont have an appetite anymore so I dont eat as much...but I take my pills. I check my phone. Nothing. I play video games until 2 or 3. Sometimes longer. I check my phone. Nothing. If I'm lucky I'm hungry around that time. So I make some food. I eat. I check my phone. Nothing. It's noon, or evening. I take a bath. Each time the water seems to get colder and colder so I put the heat higher and higher. It turns my skin pink. I check my phone. Nothing. I get out. I lay down. I close my eyes. Right before I fall asleep I think, maybe tonight you'll message me...I check my phone...
Nothing.
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