I look at my old journal entries.
The ones I wrote years ago.
Every time I read them, I remember how I felt as I was writing them.
The emotions are crystal clear, as though it is actually December of 2010.
I can look at the flurry of words, the jumbled and nearly incoherent sentences, and I can understand them. I feel every individual emotion that accompanies each word. I can decode my own secret meanings, which string of words mean what exactly. It's as though I fly through a tunnel that leads directly to the past. It doesn't take long for the memories and the feelings to hit me like a freight train. Leaves me breathless. The pain, the anger, the confusion and the sadness...it's all too overwhelming to even think about. What I feel right now is a fraction of what I used to feel back then. That's the sad reality.
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