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BlackBleedingHeart's Journal



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cool poems

17:25 Aug 31 2010
Times Read: 464








If you loved someone

would you tell them?

If you loved someone would you tell them?

tell them

that without them the world would stop spinning

that without them you can't breathe ....

that it breaks your heart when they are hurt or even sad.

their touch, their laugh, their smile that can brighten your day when your having the darkest day

if you loved someone would you tell them?

even if it would ruin your friendship?

if you loved someone would you let them go

even if they didnt ask you to

and if maybe they would not come back to you

would you truely love them

if you loved someone would you tell them

would you still tell them?



Why are you so amazing?

How are you so sweett?

You live so far away

Yet I cannot hide the heat

Our love would bind us together

I could hold you o so tight

I'd never have to let go

Even through the night

My hearts a mess

There's blood on the floor

Love, bursting trough my veins

I cannot take no more!

"I'm packing my bags

I'm leaving tonight

I don't need anyone

Cuz you are my light"

If only I did this

If only I could

I really wish it was possible

Cuz believe me I would

♥ ♥ ♥





























UGLY?

My sorrow is as deep as my hate.



Shadows dance across my scarred face.



Words cling to my tounge, but they shall remain forever unspoken.





I'm limp from troubles, pained with guilt, dead by life.





Hurt is embedded in my being, my soul has been shredded.



Hope is not something I feel anymore, my heart is numb.





I'm here, but never was.





Help is within my reach, but my arms are one inch too short.





I once held onto the match of light, but was burned.



I am not where I was, nor where I have ever been.



I cannot be returned, restored.





Hammer drill smash crash



is all I hear anymore.



My eyes are dry, I cannot cry.



But If i could, crying would have been done long ago.



Am I ugly? I cannot dream, speak, or hope.



Am I ugly? My skin is charred, lips are cracked, eyes are black.



Am I ugly? I do not have a soul, my mind is lost.



Am I ugly? I am pulled out to sea, undertow carrying me away.



Am I ugly? I have drowned in my own sorrow.



Am I ugly? I have worn out my own hate.

Am I beautiful?







THE KISS

He gazed into her eyes with a smile,

She gazed back, her heart racing again,

He outstretched his hand to her,

She took it without hesitation,

He pulled her into an embrace and whispered to her softly:



Open the book called your heart,

Let our voices be the pen that write this song.



She smiled wider than before,

He held her hand more tightly,

She opened her mouth to let the words of the song flow,

He sang along with her, their voices harmonizing,

She closed her eyes and let the words take her away:



Open the book called your heart,

Let our voices be the pen that writes this song,

This moment cannot die for this love is eternal,

Let this song fill the pages of your heart,

This is our song so let the words carry you away!



He took the lead as they began to dance,

She kept her eyes closed as they continued to sing,

He danced with her, slowly leading her towards the balcony,

She let him take her to the balcony where moonlight shone on them both,

He watched as she slowly opened her eyes once more.



She had stopped singing,

He looked at her seriously,

She thought the world had stopped,

He knew this was the perfect moment,

She thought she would stop breathing any moment.



He leaned closer to her,

She, once more, closed her eyes,

He brought his lips to hers with his eyes closed,

She kissed back slowly,

He knew and she knew, this was that moment they'd been waiting for.



They broke the embrace,

They began to sing once more,

He smiled as she took his hand to dance once more,

She smiled as his voice harmonized with hers,

They had the world to themselves for a minute.







Hidden Love

Nervous and anxious

Heart thumping like never before

Wasn't sure what the night would bring

Shaking when I answered the door

And there you were

Cluessless of what I thought

Thinking we're just friends

When my heart is what you've caught

Frightenedon the inside

On the outside it didn't show

Hoping you hadn't noticed

I couldn't tell you what you didn't know

Nothing to say

Forgetting how to breathe

I tried looking away

But you're still the only one I see

You lifted up my chin

I looked you in the eye

The tears started shedding

I was waiting for the goodbye

You saw what I was hiding

What was locked inside my soul

I couldn't take it anymore

I finally lost all control

But you wiped away the tears

And wrapped me in your arms

I was starting to feel healed

Because you were throwing away my harm

I could hear the angels singing

I felt like I could shine

All the pain disappeared When your lips collied with mine

The Distance Between US

You.

Me.

We have a love,

a love so strong.

But will it last?

You say to me,

"Babe,

I wish I was there

by your side,

holding you close..."

That's so hard to do

when you're so far away from me.

This distance

that's been placed between us,

Will it break us?

Or will itmake our love grow?

Are we strong enough to get through this?

I guess...

Only time will tell...





Distance

I hate seeing you walk away. With tears in my eyes I jst dont feel OK. I dont know if destiny really exists. All I know is that I LoVe u and I hope its me that you will miss. 700 Kilometers cant keep me away from you. I dont mind if I have to suffer as long as I see you. I hear your voice on the phone telling me I'm the one you want to hold. The world without you causes the warmth turning cold. I dont want to go any farther. You by my side to me is no bother. Thats why I dont surrender. This is a path that we can go through together. Knowing that your leaving is what really hurt the most. Seeing the plane go but then seeing it never return. I know there are obstacles through the way. And a wish I would make is for you to stay. Needing to tell you how much I need you. I write it down in a book I call Our Story of Two. You being far away, The pain never stops. My life keeps slowing down as my depression moves to the top. Everyday hoping you were here. I begin to miss you more every minute, every week, every year. My LoVe for you is wat keeps me from moving on. I live counting the days until the time stops. Distance is my punishment for every sin that I did. But why did it get inbetween my lovelife, why did it have to take revenge on something like this. You know I dont lie wen I tell u that I LoVe u. Every minute of the day is when I think of you. And yes, It may seem like everyday without you I'm silent but if you listen deep within me you can hear my screamings. I'll try to cherish every moment that I have with you cuz then a wall will grow right between me and you. I hate crying in my sleep when I see you in my dreams cuz when I wake up I see that you're not next to me. I remember wen we first met I saw you then I ran. I see the future now itz us together holding hands. I wait for the weekend hoping it would be true. That I would get an airplane ticket and would be off to see you. I want to yell out that I LOVE U making sure everyone knows. Then I realize as the distance gets longer our LoVe also grows. Distance is poison for us that were in LoVe. I think about the times we were together as outside I looked above. I want to laugh everyday, kill the distance, dry up all the tears, and quit being sad for having happiness. I'm sick of feeling lonely, I'm sick of feeling blue. I would actually leave far away as long as I'm far away with you. Needing to hug you, needing to kiss you, needing to tell you how much I LoVe You. Seeing you is what I'm going to try. I say that we leave the past all behind...DISTANCE...Itz whats coming in between us...There's a path that I'm goin to run through..so that way I can finally be with you.. P.S.I LOVE YOU. :)















Do U?

Seal the night

with a sweet,

gentle kiss.

Sparks flying.

Do you feel it too?

Your arms wrapped

around my waist,

pulling me into you,

leaving no space between us.

Can't help but think...

This is right.

But it's all in my head.

Oh the power of the imagination.

Do you see it too?

Your voice in my head.

Don't know what it's saying.

I strain to hear you,

Nothing but a faint whisper,

fading more and more.

Do you hear me too?

My lips wait,

hungry,

wanting your kiss.

My heart aches,

lonely,

wanting your love.

Do you want me,

Do you need me,

like I need you?













The Truth In Her Eyes

I toss and turn all night,

kept awake by the pain.

The throbbing whole in my chest,

driving me insane.

I wait for her call,

knowing it won't come.

Aching to hear her voice,

I've become totaly numb.

Confused by my heart,

racing the speed of sound.

I choke up a tear,

and fall to the ground.

I wish i could know,

why this happened to me.

One minutes she's mine,

the next i'm on my knees.

I just want to see her,

maybe kiss her goodbye.

But she says i never loved her,

that i should just go die.

She says she doesn't love me,

andI know it's another lie.

IfI could see her face,

I'd see the truth in her eyes.

And i yern for her touch,

to have her bye my side.

She's waiting for the love to fade,

to fade from her green eyes









I'm sitting here, trying to figure out what to do next, but even I can't find a solution. Then I think: What do I want to happen next? And it comes to me. I want to be loved by you. I want to share every laugh with you, every bright smile. Every single kiss, and every last breath. I want to be with you for eternity,

and nothing can make that feeling go away.











Trapped

Do you ever feel trapped? like in a cage?

Always trying to break free and start a new page?

Well, I'm trapped now, I can't get out

I don't even know , what this was about.

A need, a want, but no desire

Should I take mutilation one step higher?

So much things, so much stress

Tearing me apart and leaving a mess

You don't know half the things that are inside

They stay hidden, because they like to hide

No way to get them out of the shadows

If i tell, it'll hang me from screaming gallows

Trapped in a cage, with cast iron bars

Keep hoping and dreaming, and wishing in stars

For that need and want to go away

The demons are now coming out to play

Want . Desire. Will or won't

Between the many "do's" and "don'ts"

Lack of desire, extreme need.

To feel the relief of making myself bleed

Talking is to hard, not all understand

That it's all just easier with a blade in you're hand

I will break this cage, enraged with desire

To go bigger, deeper, blood raging like fire

It's just a matter of moments

Before I put together all the components

I will break this cage, be free of it's grime

I will fall back down. It's just a matter of time.





Unwritten Words

In an ally of stupidity

i stand before you

only to love,

and adore you.

But despite the fact,

im only dreaming.

across the room,

your eyes are beaming.

My trembling hands,

your vitious stare.

No other girl,

could ever compare.

Home aint home,

till your in my arms.

I'll walk the world,

through cities and farms.

Just to see your perfect smile,

I'll go on forever,

walkin' miles.

And just to remind you,

i can still smell your skin.

remembering memories,

and how it'd begin.

Saying "I love you" is never enough.

i miss your lips,

and your golden touch.

So i'll unwrite these words.

and play our song,

hopefully one day you'll sing along.







…Letters Unsent, Words Unspoken…

…~*~…

All alone

I am content

My many letters

Never sent

In the silence

Of the dark

With pen and paper

I make my mark

Writing down

The things I feel

Losing grip

On what is real

Through the ink

I feel release

But never am I

Truly at peace

For as I write

I lose myself

I’m like a book

Stored on a shelf

Becoming another

Face in the crowd

Blending in

Trying to stand out

I am me

And nothing more

Waiting for

What is in store

But as I wait

I fade away

Maybe you’ll find me

Maybe one day

…~*~…

All alone

No longer content

Would I find myself

If those letters were sent?

What have I done



What have I done?

With one click of a button,

My life changed.

I can’t take it back.

It’s lost in cyber space.

I bury my head in shame.

How could I do this?

You made me feel special.

You made me feel beautiful.

Was it all a game?

I thought that maybe once,

Something in my life could be right.

That maybe for once,

I could be happy.

But doubt filled me up.

I began to second guess.

Is what you say true?

I bring my knees to my chest,

As tears escape unwillingly.

What have I done?

I can’t take it back.

This is a mistake

I can’t reverse.





Missing Hearts

I search for four leaf clovers

Just so i can give them to you

I wish every chance i get

And set my heart on them coming true

.

I deny everyone i know

Just so il be there when you need me

I make myself invisable

If it hurts you to see

.

I walk through fire and flames

And freeze in a pool of ice

I ignore everyone else

I believe your lies

.

I stay home alone by myself

When i know your with her

And when i become doubtful

I just think of everything we once were

.

I bleed with my heart cut open

And smile despite all the pain

I pretend and act so normal

When really im going insane

.

I close all the curtains

Lockevery door

If you dont want me to be around

Then i wont anymore

.

I stand and wait

Loyal and bound

And when someone else wants me

Im not ever around

.

Im only yours

Waiting for your comand

Chained with love

And barely able to stand

.

And you just leave me

Starving and lying in the dirt

Im the one who will save you

But im the one you hurt

.

Sad how pitiful

A story can be

Even when it comes

To strong little me

.

Despite how you act

I think i see how you feel

You want everything

But you cant make everything real

.

So i will keep wishing

And you will never come

And i will finally finish

Before youve even begun

.

But one day your gonna need me

And sadly il be there

Because we can act like we dont love eachother

But we will always care

.

So here i will stand chained

And bound by these broken parts

Standingproud and strong

And speaking with missing hearts





Romeo& Juliet

A beautiful girl

Unexpectedly meets

A handsome boy.

The beginning of

A cliché.

An average fairytale.



The boy sees

What he wants,

But can’t obtain.

The girl

Fancies him,

But admires from afar.



Though the fairest

Of them all,

She’s locked away.

Not in a tower

Surrounded by creatures of the dark.

No.

She’s locked within herself,

Awaiting her knight in shining armor.



She hopes,

She prays,

This boy will be her savior.

“Come for me”

She pleads.

He promises

That one day he will.



“Be my Juliet,

And in return,

I’ll forever be,

Your Romeo.”









I want you.

I’m being blunt.

I’m being too forward.

But,

You’ll never read this.

And I’ll never tell.



I need you.

You know

All the right things to say.

Every time we talk,

I get the butterflies

In the pit of my stomach.

And I smile.



I like you.

Maybe just a bit too much.

My feelings may be premature.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

And this terrifies me.

Look at this gap between you and me.

Could there ever be more for us?



Forever Bound







she is bound

by the thick

shackles of

perfection

you place upon

her

. . . .

she is bound

by the labels

that are branded

onto her soul

because of the

way that she

looks and feels

. . . .

she is bound

by the need

to cut away

the pain

day by day

with a strike

of a blade

. . . .

she is bound

by the dark

crimson

blood that

relieves her

of all her

imperfection's

. . . .

she is forever

bound to be

a sad lonely

broken soul













I'm weird, I know, I've heard it before

It's not the first time that I've hid behind my bedroom door

It's because I'm that and it's because I'm this

I can't tell my parents anything or it will be more to add to their list

They think they know everything, but they’re not even close

I'm just a brilliant child that allows them to boast

But I don't have friends, that's something they never knew

They don't know I dream of suicide because it's not something I would do

They don't know that I hate myself because that would make them sad

They don't know that I've been in trouble for my poetry because it's bad

They don't know that I hurt myself when it's so obviously clear

They don't know how much they've hurt me and haven't seen my tears

They don't know that I hate them, or that I know they hate me too

But most of all, they just never knew.





Dear Self

i'm sorry dear self:

i let you down this time

i broke my promise to you,

a most embarrassing crime

i'm setting you up dear heart:

so get ready for breaking

i'm already having second thoughts

maybe this wasn't a risk worth taking

i should've listened to you dear brain:

you were right all along

i never thought one more chance

could turn out so wrong

you were right dear mom:

it was a bad idea to seal the deal

i should've listened to what was smart

not to what i think i feel

i'm sorry dear self:

i'm sorry that i let you down

all the reasons i left in the first place,

i have once again found









…All the white is tinted blue…

~`~`~`~`~`~

You hide behind

A misty veil

Flowing like

A ships white sail

Cold just like

New fallen snow

Your feelings you

Refuse to show

~`~`~

Lost

~`~`~

Falling

~`~`~

Fading

~`~`~

The colors that

Were once so bold

Are fading from

Secrets untold

A hint of pain

On your face

Heart is tearing

Frail like lace

~`~`~

Waiting

~`~`~

Wandering

~`~`~

Breaking

~`~`~`~`~`~`~

The mask of white is tinted blue

And behind that misty veil

Is you

***

I Love You







You're eyes they're like a fairytale,

And your smile warms my heart.

You're everything I've ever wanted,

And everything I know I cannot have.



Your words, they're sweet to my ears.

But I feel something inside me,

Telling me they're lies.

I feel every word you speak, without believing one.



I knew you before others,

My mistake to not take the chance.

Now my heart's wrapped around your finger.

And I do not know if you feel the same.



I find myself wanting to be with you.

All the time, all the day.

I only want to hear your voice.

And see your lovely face.



You have no idea,

How amazing you really are.

I want you to feel me.

As I do you.









The demon on my shoulder

is whispering in my ear

and telling me stories

I never wanted to hear

It tells me

of blood and death

of theft and murder

of rape and meth

The demon then whispers

"Kate, don't you see?

You can run away

from me..."

The words slither over cracked lips:

“You can run but you can’t hide

Kate…

Because I’ll always sit here and bide

As the demon on your shoulder

but as something else…

because I am…

yourself."

The demon on my shoulder was whispering to me today. This is what it was telling me: "Kate... do you hear me? What I want you to do is stick that needle in. What!? You think it's wrong, you think it's not right, you think it'll be bad? Well what you’re thinking is absolute bullshit. So listen to me... and listen to me only." Then all of a sudden its snaps in my brain: the demon isn’t whispering to me... it is ME.

COMMENTS

-



 

Dont Ever Fall IN Love By: BlackBleedingHeart

14:02 Aug 31 2010
Times Read: 469


Dont ever fall in love my friend you will hurt before its through.



you see my friend you ought to know i fell in love with u.



did u know that god above.



created u for me to love.



i had a heart and it was true.



but now its gone from me to u .



so take care as i have done .



for u have 2 and i have none.



and when im in heaven on the golden chair.



ill write your name on every satair.



so all the angels can seek and see.



how much my love u mean to me.



and if your not here by judgement day.



ill know you've gone the other way.



and just to prove my loves still true id go to he11 to be with you.


COMMENTS

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