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you see no mark upon my skin

you see no tear in my eye

you see no sign of pain

therefor I must not be in pain



I must not cry myself

to sleep at night

or wake up screaming

because of haunted dreams

I must not pull the blade

across my skin

and hope that one day

it drives in deeper

I must not fear the darkness

or shudder at the thought of silence

I must not hide myself from

life and prying eyes that

judge your worth as a person

upon the shine of your smile



you hear no gasp escape my mouth

you hear no horror tale from my past

you hear no words of pain

therefor I must not be in pain



I must not scream so loud it's silent

or throw things against my

bedroom walls

I must not kick and scream

and punch things that no one else can see

I must not drown myself

in the brown bagged bottle

in the hopes that i will forget

or tie the rope around my neck

and pray i find the courage to

pull it tighter





you don't see or hear my pain

therefor you think i feel no pain

you see what I choose for you to see

you hear what I choose for you to hear

you know not what he did to me

you know not what she did to me

you know not what you did to me

you know not the pain I feel

you know only what I want you to know

but just because you do not see or hear it

does not mean that the pain is not there

locked away inside of me, where it will always be

follow me

and I shall follow you

into your darkened world

of twisted shapes

and undone minds

down to where the passions rule

and sense of mind has no place

where the cookoo clock sounds

as another slips into solitary madness

and your voice is drowned out

by a thousand silent screams



Come with me

and I shall come with you

deeper into forbidden freedoms

and the shadows of a frowning world

set yourself upon my thrown

shroud yourself in clouds

of lucid colours

connect yourself with broken minds

and detached beings

eternal midnight

as the sun shines brightly on

the darkened world we see



Follow me

and I shall follow you

together we shall enter

into blissfull insanity

Mummy whats happening to me

why can't I move my legs

why is my dress ripped

Mummy my belly hurts

I think im going to be sick

Mummy what are those flashing lights

who are these people Mummy

what do they want

Mummy why aren't you answering me

whats that red stuff coming

from your head

Mummy whats going on

whats happening to me

why are all these people shouting

Mummy why aren't you answering me

please Mummy please

I'm scared Mummy

Mummy whats all that glass

Whats going on

whats that noise

it sounds like Daddy's got the chainsaw

but Daddy's not here Mummy

why is that man cutting the door off

Mummy make him let go of me

Mummy whats going on

Mummy answer me

please answer me Mummy

Do I have to go in the ambulence Mummy

Why aren't you coming with me

Mummy I'm afraid of doctors

can you hold my hand

Mummy why aren't you answering me

why aren't you coming with me

Mummy the man told me

that your in heaven

what does that mean mummy

can I go there too

please Mummy

I want to come to heaven and

give you a big hug and hold your hand

I feel so sick Mummy

The doctor said he has to put

some white stuff on my legs

he said i'll be in a wheelchair for a while

Mummy why aren't you with me

Im scared of doctors

can't you hold my hand

Daddy's here now Mummy

I think he wants to see you too

He keeps saying your name

Why is he crying Mummy whats going on

why aren't you here to hold my hand

You know I'm afraid of doctors Mummy

So long ago

The sweet goodnights

I remember them well

The quite voices floating

Down the winding corridor and

Into the snow white room

Where all my dreams begin and end



I’ll rest my weary head

Upon the starch white pillowcase

As summer days drift into winter nights

And sleep walks and talks around me

Bury me here she whispers across the stars

Leave me among the Milky Way

So I may spend eternity as the twinkle

In your midnight eyes



Never wake, never sleep again

Killing time with snow white blood

Smeared across snow white walls

Remember me he begs her

Once the night returns to day

And sunlight hides the truth

Behind her blinding lie



Take heart my dearest friends

There is life with in me still

Behind the snow white face

Resting upon the starch white pillowcase

Listing to the sweet goodnights

The quite voices floating

Down the winding corridor and

Into the snow white room

Where all my dreams begin and end

Lying naked on the bathroom floor

counting the cracks in the ceiling

beads of sweat and ice cold water run

off my body and drown me slowly

in eternity and empty thoughts

a face emerges in the glistening

web in the corner of the room

your face, hollow and haunting

I feel the anger rise again

my fists clench around the empty air

and I scream so loud that no sound escapes me

I am drowned in the silence

a shiver runs through me as the

beads of sweat roll of me

tears begin to stream from my empty eyes

there is nothing I can do but cry

and drown once more in my hatred of you

soon I find the words I seek

Half muffled by my choking tears I scream

into the glistening spiders web

"I HATE YOU"

the anger grows a swells inside me

and suddenly I lunge towards

the waiting toilet bowl

I wipe my mouth and lie back in my pool

of sweat and ice cold water

my boding aching with every drawn out sob

gasping for the thick air around me

"I don't want to die"

I manage through the tears

and there I am

consumed by hate and fear

Lying naked on my bathroom floor

counting the cracks in the ceiling

between gasping breaths and falling tears