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Pain consumes me

My brain is tormented by these thoughts of death and destruction

I am fearful of the thing I may do

But also ready just to jump forth and do it.



The taste of blood is sweet and delicious

I crave more with every taste.

Every cut leaves a new scar

Every one leaves a new memory of agony



I've been told I torture myself

I've been told I cause my own hurt

Maybe it's true

Maybe I'm to blame



Or maybe I'm not

Maybe its you

Maybe the razor should be cutting your arms

Maybe its your blood I should be tasting on my lips and tongue



This pain is also pleasure for me

I feel so many emotions

Love, hate, anger, sadness, elation.

But I'm blinded to all of these



I wish I knew how to feel

I wish I knew how to cut all of this away

Down to the bone and beyond.



Nothing will swallow my distress

No one can save me from myself

I'm dead inside and out.

COMMENTS

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TheVampyreNico
02:02 Jul 11 2010

Quite lovely indeed to mix death and pleasure and then go beyond that. Beautiful

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POST COMMENT

You come to me swiftly and silently

I feel your heat on the back of my neck

Your arms wrap around my waist

Suddenly you pull me in tight



I feel your lips caress my bare shoulders

A shiver runs all the way down my spine

I am sure it isn't from the cool breeze

That is blowing in the starless autumn night



You spin me around and I see

Passion through your eyes

You lips touch mine and I feel

As though lightning has coursed through my veins and heart



I come alive through your lips

I feel awakened by your snug embrace

I feel more in this moment than any other before it.



I don't ever want this to end

I want nothing and no one else

I want all of you and always; nothing more, nothing less.

It all came together with a kiss

Dark and twisted afflictions cloud my wounded mind.

My eyes show the burdens carried for hundreds of endless lifetimes



My load is heavy

But this is my cross alone to bear

Praying for relief is getting me nowhere fast



Lessons unlearned from before

Repeated in the here and now

So many past sins and transgressions of which I must repent



I have too many flaws

Too many obstacles in the way

I'm searching for some peace of mind

But reminders of my past constantly nip at my heels



I must learn these lessons soon

In order to be free from my Hell

Or will I be fucked for all eternity.

Doomed to repeat my unpassed tests in another earthly shell

until I fully understand

Dark thoughts cloud the mind

Shadowy words from bitter tongues

Blistered ears hear your curses.



Blackened eyes pierce your soul

Cutting through like a dull blade

Ripping away with no feeling but hatred



Sweet revenge fills me up

Feeling the blood on my hands from

Your black cold heart would do me some good



Seeing those blackened eyes become dull

and lifeless would end this reciprocated

hatred and violent feud.



Cold blue skin declares the victor

The words become cheerful scoffs

But the once blistered ears hear nothing

My heart has now become as dark and cold

as yours used to be.

Dark thoughts cloud the mind

Shadowy words from bitter tongues

Blistered ears hear your curses.



Blackened eyes pierce your soul

Cutting through like a dull blade

Ripping away with no feeling but hatred



Sweet revenge fills me up

Feeling the blood on my hands from

Your black cold heart would do me some good



Seeing those blackened eyes become dull

and lifeless would end this reciprocated

hatred and violent feud.



Cold blue skin declares the victor

The words become cheerful scoffs

But the once blistered ears hear nothing

My heart has now become as dark and cold

as yours used to be.

The sins on these lips were not mine alone

The salt of yours rests on mine still;

a gentle reminder of what we've done



Things are different now

Never to be the same again.



I still feel the warmth of your tight embrace

I'm intoxicated by the memory of your lips.



When I wake from this dream

I shall know none of it was real.



It has been a fabrication from deep within my mind.

I cannot force something that is no longer there.



My feelings are stronger than ever before;

but yours aren't quite as clear.



Clear the smoke from the air

Help us both to see clearly and breathe again.

Compiled of the random pieces

All the parts you've left broken and completely undone.



Scrapped parts

Discarded and forgotten emotions

All sewn together to complete this tangled up mess



You've definately done a number

I've been left here in stitches

This time in more than one way



Trying so hard to find myself

But failing miserably

So jaded; so afraid of being me.



To find oneself; one must know who or where they are.

Right now I'm lost amid the crowd.



Full of blank stares

Mindless zombies

There is nothing but a shriek into the silence.

Bleeding Eyes

Set on fire

Feeling the flesh melt away

Like wax from a candle

Splinters under my fingernails

All the way to the bone

Excruciating pain

But I still can't feel a thing

I am numb to your torture

I am numb to everything

Blister my eyes

Make me blind

So I can't see the blasphemies you're committing



Cut out my tongue

Cauterize the wound so I can't

Speak out against you



Puncture my ear drums

Make me deaf so I can't

hear the truth.



Break my legs

Make me unable to run away

From you and the evil inside you



Bind my wrists

Tie them tight so

I cannot fight back



Make me numb

A lifeless puppet

That will do what you want me to do

Boiling over

Scalding water



Flesh searing

Blisters forming



Voices crying

Eyes weeping



No comfort

Only misery



My woe

My scars



Coming undone

Unraveling quickly



Open wound

Ripped wider



Mental collapse

Emotional chaos



My end

Starting anew

Pull this string

Make my legs flail about

To and fro wildly

Like a flopping fish out of water.



Make me speak

Without a single movement from your lips

Make me say things I don't mean

Just so you will be free of guilt



Move your hands

Make me dance

Make me do whatever you want me to do



Ventriloquist

Puppet master

Soulless slave

Mindless marionette



These things are what you are

And the others are who I have become

Only my heart and emotions remain;

The only possessions I own



Never to be taken from me.

Someday I will cut these strings and then

Rid myself from your voice and

Reclaim all of myself to be free.