Get up, dust off and keep going Alice.10:16 Jun 10 2008
Times Read: 691
I'm just sitting here, smoking a cigarette reflecting on the days past, then I think further, and the days become weeks.
I'm not sure what to think about the reminiscing. Going over and over in head. I feel like Alice, falling down the rabbit hole. The light at the top slowly fading until I’m engulfed in the blackness, into the darkened abyss I fall. Slowly diminishing to the unknown below.
My mind screams silently for help. So many twist and turns have befallen me over this past month. My mind is a mess. I feel alone as I fall down the rabbit hole, having nothing but my thoughts to escort me.
I have barely spoken to the guy I had an ‘adventure’ with over a month ago. It saddens me. That seems to the story of my life recently. Meet someone new, a friend in a way, get attached to the personality, then spiral down the rabbit hole. I would say lose contact, but as I descend, I realize that’s not the case. Mistakes were made, I know that, so I pick the short stick, and lose someone else in my ‘circle of friends’, and hit my head on the way down the rabbit hole. But that’s ok, I’ve learned I’m pretty hard headed, and I mean that in the literal sense. I can take a beating, mentally and physically, and be superior in the end, one good thing I’ve learned thanks to my trip down the rabbit hole.
Though I’ve been an utter mess over the past few weeks, covered with dirt and filth from my excursion down the rabbit hole, I’ve hit bottom finally and you know, it’s not so bad. Once you’ve landed on the bottom, you’re able to look up and you see the tiny light from above shinning down, giving you the ever slightest peek at your journey down. Yeah, so you’re covered with bumps and bruises, but in the end, the pain and puffy red eyes are worth it. You know the saying, ‘It gets worse before it gets better’, well, I’ve had the worse, I’ve been through the worse, thanks to the white rabbit and his little burrow of self discovery.
Granted, I still have a good climb a head me before I make it out the rabbit hole, but its ok. All the shit I’ve been through will soon dissolve and in the end I will be stronger from it. My mind will be stronger and emotions will no longer be allowed to take control. Thinking about Him will no longer cause me to ache in pain; looking for a new home for my baby Bri (a dog) will no longer cause me to cry out of sadness because those two words; pain and sadness, are no longer a part of me.
My plummet down the rabbit hole is over. Its time I stand up and start climbing my way back up to the light above. To the radiance of a new day.
COMMENTS
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juggalodak
02:19 Jun 19 2008
very deep realy good just to let you know