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okay. This week has been extremely odd...I had a migrane headache so bad that it lasted 4 days..and i was soo sick...i thought my head was going to explode. Then my friend Nikki came over...she was odd...she didn't act like herself...she was "out of it.." She has me worried...she has been suffering from a break down for like 8 months now from breaking up with her finace. So...i hope she's okay.

I had 3 more older men..(40 and 50) try and take me to dinner...Charles, a friend, bought me a 10k white gold ring, with two 1/10k diamonds and a 14k garnet stone....that was soo sweet.

I took lisa on her first trail ride the other day...that was odd...looking down on my own horse...lol

I saw Patrick again. He finally brought me the Rasputina pictures...he's going to see NIN and the Vodoo Music fest.

I GET TO GO SEE MY AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is slipping away, through my fingers...and i no longer care...



Well, this has been an interesting week...also depressing....*sigh* I haven't heard from Patrick in over a week now...I'm worried about him..he's going through ruff times and there is nothing i can do to help him...it really sucks...

Eric came and saw me at work on Tuesday...I had to leave work, go to Columbia, and pick up the girl that was going to relive me...her car had broke down and her being a friend..i had to go get her...

That night Eric took me out to dinner and a movie....its kinda creapy being around him...i don't want to date him...he says he doesn't me...but his "body language" is disagreeing...Well anywho..we went to a Thai house restaurant, then went and watched "Serenity".

That Monday, Jared came over and then we went to dinner and wal-mart. He's sooo funny...a little mean...;P but fun to be around...

He moved here from Boluix, Mississippi...Katrina took his home...sadly, i'm kinda happy that that happened...He comes up and sits with me at work sometimes...We went out to dinner-he paid.....lol..i'm not used to guys doing all this...I might see him later on this week...

I miss Patrick...he was the light in my dark soul...i hope he is alright...

I have been soo busy with work...busy, busy, busy...but i am counting down the days when i get to go see my "sister" Amy..Maybe that will make me undepressed...*sigh* Luvers u amy...



I am moving in March...i got my acceptence letter in the mail today. I'm soo happy. Jimmie's lawsuit should go through anytime soon too...so we should have some money...that will be nice...

*sigh*...oh well, i have a business meeting tonight...YAY (total and complete sarcasm...)

Well, another day at work.....I've been soooo tired lately. I get paid on Monday so I'll be broke again on Tuesday...Too many bills to pay. I think i might have another job...so that s always good.

Saw an interesting guy in the mall today. Said his name was Steel. Cutie!!! I was working, it was raining...he was soaked...He had road his motorcycle to Sumter from Columbia today....

I was starving...all I could afford for breakfast was a small French fry and a coffee...It sucks being broke...lol

He sat down..and every once in a while he would look up and I caught him watching me. I talked to Bishop a while..then he walked over...

*swoon* lol. He was very interesting. His pants had holes in them and he had the holes labeled i.e "this is a hole" lol. I thought that was sooo funny. We talked about an hour then he left...

I saw Charles and Hank today. I also saw Joe. Joe bought me a cookie and a soda...lol. I had the breakfast of champions...lol

I hope Patrick's sister is doing okay. Every time I talk to Patrick..he sounds like he's falling apart. I so wish to wrap my arms around him and take his sorrow...*sigh* sounds like a fairytale.

I'm looking forward to the fair this weekend. I am taking carolyn with me. I think Joe is going to. That shall be fun

I found out that there are races on saturday too...*pout*

I think I sold my car..:) I am hoping to get a civic with the money. :))

My mom is sick. I hope she will get better. I had a relapse in a dream last night. I woke up crying....I don't cry...

I can't stand my mom most of the time...but she is the strongest person I know...hell, she's put up with my shit for years poor woman. But I watched myself as a child last night, watching my mother break. I thought that I had put that all out of my mind...*sigh* I hate that part of my life...*DDDDDDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE*

I have been soo depressed the last few days...it sucks...I think I need my Amy. I get to see her next month I hope.

*....*

Well, another boring day. I want to hold Patrick...he's little sister is in the hospital. I hope she's okay. Her apendix had to be taken out at like 3:30 am this morning. She's only 14, so i'm worried...I don't care much for her but she is his sister...

I hope he lets me know something...He has been sooo stressed out lately...I haven't seen him in almost 2 weeks...He has been late to work a few times in the past 2 weeks....

One of my mother's patients got me something today. He got me a really pretty picture frame of two horses...a mom and a foal...its really pretty. I don't even know the man, but my mom says that he has seen my race a few times and was there when I got hurt. According to her, its a gift for keeping on riding even after being killed by a horse...lol.

Carolyn is going to the fair with me this weekend. I haven't seen her in months. It should be fun.

I get to see my Amy in November...I can't wait. I need to hug my "sister". I miss her so much... 11, 12, and 13th Virgiania here I come.!!!

Okay. Its been a weird week. I'm so fucking tired right now its not funny. I had another argument with my parents...I wish they would stay out of my life...ya know...

I"m 20 for sakes...ya know...they treat me like I'm 12...back off.



Well, I talked to Patrick...that was werid...its hard to just be friends with him...it drives me mad....grr. He's acting really out of it...hes got me really worried...its not like him to act like he is..



Nikki is dating jerk wad....Brian...my ex of 4 times...thats all i need. can't hardly do anything with her that doesn't include him...



Met an interesting individual last night...more on that later.

Eric freaked me out last night....he tried to kiss me...no way....i didn't know what to do...I don't see him like that..more like "food". I was werided out...thats not like him...he talked about me and him...which will never happen...like it would...i did not like that...

What to do...what to do...