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A hard, frozen exterior

But no one can see

The hidden flame burning brightly inside

Outside she is calm, perfect, flawless in everyway

But nobody ever sees

She is so badly scarred inside

Her heart has been torn to pieces

Patched and torn again

Her lungs have collapsed so many times

It takes her every ounce of strength to breath in again

She’s lost in a torrent of darkness

But nobody can see

The shadow of despair

Black as her hair

That steals what’s left of her light

The light that used to shine so bright

The light that is nothing but a dim glow

In the darkness that is her soul.

So haunted I am by my eternal fears

The gooseflesh rises and I’m flooded by tears

I seek to end this, I seek to die

A river of blood that never runs dry

Once I sat there, all pretty in pink

But then I discovered the missing link

A little girl grows to discover

That god and the devil are merely a cover

A lie told to save the world

To keep little girls from becoming whores.

I am so lonely

I want to cry

But I can’t even try

You’re so close to me

But you feel so distant

I don’t understand

What I am anymore

I’ve fallen in love with you

Yes, it’s true

But it will never be

You are not mine

And I will never find

My small chance of peace

Does she see you?

The real you?

Or does she see the pretend you?

These tears pour down my cheeks

How can I ever stem the flow?

I have no strength left

I’m drawing in my last breath

And as I let it out

You will hear my last words

“I love you.”

Smokey green

Lost at sea

Drowning deep

In misery

Start to fall

Lose it all

Don’t hold your breath

There’s nothing left

Do you see how you drive me to this

To this self hatred

Because you cannot accept what I want to be

So I hate the thing that I am.

My room was once my haven

Now it is a prison

Filled with the lies and loneliness

That I will never let you see



Poisoned grief,

A child made out of hate

Poisoned grief,

A child made out of pain



Don’t look so surprised when I tell you this

This is what you made me be

A child dressed in darkness and nothingness

Afraid to let anyone in

Because they might see what I really am

A monster pretending

That everything’s all fucking right



Oh, poisoned grief,

Will you ever let me be?

Oh, poisoned grief,

How can I live without you?



No love for me

Keep the world away

Hide deep in shadows

The truth to disappear



Oh, poisoned grief,

Will you ever let me be?

Oh, poisoned grief,

How can I live without you?