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I woke to the rain on Wednesday morning; and, I’m blaming the fellow next-door.

Come Tuesday, I’d woken to the sound of a compressor, as the roof across from our drive was being cleaned, prior to a protective covering being applied to the tiles.



It’s rained, quite hard, since shortly after that they’d finished working on it.



I went to the dole on Tuesday for a JSA interview, with a very pleasant young lady; but most of the time was spent discussing the fact that my records still show that I’m still doing part-time work with RDF Television.



Come the evening Michael called round and, we had watched Jet Li’s ‘The One.’

I enjoyed the sci-fi-babble about multi-verses and, seeing just how the actor Jason Statham has changed through his films. But boy, his American accent in that film was oh-so bad. Yet, the action in it made up for the that and overall, I’d have to say that as a fan of such things, Jet Li and Jason Statham, it was enjoyable.



* *



There is not one universe. There are many. A multiverse. We have the technology to travel between universes. But travel is highly restricted and policed. There is not one you, there are many. Each of us exists in present time, in parallel universes. There was balance in the system but now a force exists who seeks to destroy the balance, so he can become, ‘The One’.



* *



The energy of Life goes in a circle, in a perfect flow of Balance. Until I find my centre, I will never be whole.

Come Sunday evening I padded through from my room, tray in hand, empty coffee cup on it, waiting to be filled, having set my machine to record the film I was watching, ‘Chaos’, staring Jason Statham.



As I approached my bad, he looked up at me, with a sad face, the said in a whining tone, “I’ve been waiting since eight o’clock for my hot chocolate.”



Then he asked me if I’d been asleep too long: and granted the wine had been good, but as I had wanted to see the film, I said ‘no, I was watching teevee.’



Then I asked, with a smile, “Do you want a hot chocolate.”

That had got the smile.



Since he had to lay off the dark chocolate ‘coz of the dazzles, at least Cadbury’s Instant drinking chocolate is something we both enjoy.



And, it had been a strange day, in a way: I’d left for Karl’s late, after washing the windows, while Dad ground down Mum’s wedding ring and put it with her ashes. Then once I’d finished the windows, we’d scattered them on the backgarden, with ‘her plants.’



And although I was not home to make the gravy, Dad had still produced a really good meal, for when I got in from Karls, travelling on a Sunny Sunday, the first day of Summer

Mike came round in the evening an we watched ‘Dread’, a psychological thriller, based on a Clive Barker story; and, it was easily better than any ‘Saw’ film, I’ve seen!

Once it had ended, I’d needed serious distraction from it, so chose to watch episode two of the first series of the ‘Sarah Connor Chronicles: adequate distraction, excellent show… and meanwhile, The Packard Bell turns an mpeg4 of ‘Riverworld’ into an .avi file, so I can put it to disc…

Day started with a grey day, ‘an my Father deciding to give me a lift to the interview. Presumably he did so because I looked as manic as I felt. Either way, horn-rimmed glasses Father gave me a lift, which I’d appreciated, having dressed for the weather.



I’d waited awhile, having announced I was there, watching, just watching the people sit and wait, before they’re called, their expressions betraying how they feel; whilst being half an hour too early myself.



I even saw and talked to a tattooed angel in tight-blue-jeans, that hung to from her hips, and displayed white trimmed in pink: as we discussed the system, which we were both caught within: and I had liked the strong face and determined to her.



‘An we’d chatted, awhile, until I’d been called. I’d walked into the interview, surprised at the youth of the man behind the computer and desk, mine work-life on screen before him, on black, in white letters.



It’s the screen the customer rarely seen and, the questions he asks seem ridiculous to me, especially when I learn that according to the files, I’m still working with RDF Television, who I worked with for one day, as a runner, David Dickson’s Real Deal.



And that means, if you think about it, I’d said, that really, I shouldn’t have received dole, for the last two years or so. To this, he just looked at me and stayed quiet.



It’s a clerical error, he’d said, handing me a form to sign, to declare that all was true; and to me he said, those words so rarely heard with ‘them,’ “I’m sorry.”



As I left, to walk home, the sky was sunny and there was a light breeze, and no longer did my stomach ache. The only pity is, when I’d taken off my boots finally, there were holes in the soles of my socks: aye, it had been a long walk, it had seemed.

I went to voluntary work in the rain, wearing by two-tone blue and grey bikers jacket, over my old-style walkman, playing Survivor and Springsteen, ‘Born to Run.’

And, it was a busy night, which had nearly been the distraction I’d needed, from High-Noon on Friday. Although, I had not needed to return home, in the rain, but I had: thankfully, I’d dressed for it!

It's Thursday - Dad's concerned about tax and Mum. I am in REAL pain : and I am stressing about a dole interview tomorrow: someone’s reported me to them, for something; so I’m now looking forward to the chaos of the project...



[This time, ‘Veilofsanity would be right.. I’m whinging!’]

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SinginGhost88
22:34 Mar 25 2010

Odd. I had some other idiot comment to me, telling me I was whining as well. Same person, different name?

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I've been productive, drawing a picture I like, so that acted well as distaction from the veritable Hellspawn of a day I expect this Friday and, my interview at the dole.

After thoughts of Friday and, the routine of the week with Dad, my evening film with Mike, Tuesday evening, was do well needed. We watched ‘Braindead’, the seminal movie by Peter Jackson, on old-style VHS. It was as good as I recalled, if not better!



[How often can you say that??]

I got in from a womens poetry reading at Parr St Studio's at 10:30, where Nadia, from voluntary work was doing a reading. it wasn't boring.



.. and, thankfully, it wasn't too anti-man.

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Fatality
01:34 Mar 23 2010

Sounds like fun. It's always good when men are welcome in a womanly setting. :)

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Saturday morning at about two saw me putting the milk out and, it had been raining, as persistently as it had all evening. And, I should have been well happy, as I’d been going to water the lawns and flowerbeds, which seemed to need it.



It had been raining all evening as I’ve said, that persistent fine rain that just seems to continue and, the film had been good.



We’d watched ‘Survival Of The Dead’, the latest in the Romero films, which seems to have become a series, almost by default.



Half-way through the film a pee-break had been needed.



And, I don’t think sitting cross-legged is as comfortable, for me, as it used to be. Now when I stand, it feels like my left knee has turned to rubber; although after a little massage and, about ten minutes or so, it felt all right again.



After Mike had gone, my Father had told me that we were really noisy. Well, all I can put that down to, was a couple of beers, a bit of good green and, a proper good movie, with some proper good jolts in it: that, and a very good story.



I’d seen Mike out, then returned to my room after the remark about our noise, only to learn that I’d missed the beginning of the Russian film ‘Daywatch’. It had been it’s first showing on terrestrial television and, recalling how good ‘Nightwatch’ had been I’d really wanted to see it.



But, there’s no two way’s about it, my Father turning the central heating off on Friday hadn’t bee such a good idea, I think!

At Physio tuesday, I learnt I'm not comfortable with the idea of a male. seems I'm not as bi as I thought I was.. or maybe I just plain felt uncomfortable about being touched again. pass.

I obviously have issues.

Legion was only an R5, with the sound turning to Russian, just after the dialogue, after the climatic battle, for a few seconds, before it's end with a visual that's to die for, after many had: in a visually stunning film, with superebly played charcters, with some excellent cgi monsters in and yes, I'd not wasted my time: it was good.

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SheWolf85
14:01 Mar 17 2010

Oh I SO wanted to watch that one! :(

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RedQueen
20:59 Mar 21 2010

I was lucky enough to catch that one on the big screen, at the cheap seats, and with a free ticket no less. I was entranced by the trailer, but as is so often the case, the best part of the movie was IN the trailer. I found I didn't really care about any of the characters, and as a result the ending was less that the epiphany it should have been, at least for me. But I was glad I saw it, if to only say I had.

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On Saturday my Father and I watched a documentary in the evening, called ‘Requiem For Detroit’, made my Julian Temple, about the city once famous as the home of the automobile.



The film was a damning indictment of the capitalist dream, as it illustrated how the city has turned into a dystopian post-industrial city that is the stuff of nightmares.



With it’s main narrative illustrated by artists, urban explorers and beat poets, who live there, several of whom had worked in the former factories, they portrayed well, for me, a people torn apart by racism and, economics.



Strangely, I found parallels with the way it was shown that Detroit’s future may depend on rural farming, much like Havana Cuba, as shown in a documentary on Sunday night.

I was going up the road, to the Post Office, to post letters to my pen-fiends.



It'd taken most of the morning to get the letters and envelopes to my taste, so left with a short while to go, before last post at lunch-time.



As I was walking I coughed: and, my right should 'went': staying that way for most of the day, limp and very painful.



Ah, a new day.. a new type of pain.

Yiou haveta wonder, "why can't all the bits age at the same rate, then one day, the body just shuts down, all at once.. instead of as it does, in little bits & pieces..."

With my shoulder still aching, albeit not as much as it had on the Thursday, I went to the Azda Friday morning with my Dad. Needless to say, I dressed smart, as going to that place is like going to a nightclub or something. Swear down, I never realised till my first time there, that the place should be registered as a dating agency.



I did get a modicum of amusement from the fact that as I walked up one aisle with Dad pushing the trolley, there ahead of us, pushing a trolley of stock was the young woman I talked with about depression, who gave me a none serviceable phone-number and, whom my friend Graham calls ‘Suicide Debbie’.



The face on her had been priceless. She’d smiled as she continued walked on, not once looking in my direction.



We got back from the Azda and, as we put everything away a half full large pot of yoghurt fell to the floor from the fridge.



Now I’ve seen a bottle of milk go, but not a pot of yoghurt before. It’d been so darn spectacular that I’d asked my Dad for a replay. Strangely enough, he hadn’t been forthcoming.



When the post arrived my day got a tad irksome. It transpires that the course dash job opportunity I interviewed for was a no-show.



Needless to say, that’d thrown me into a quandary, because much as I hadn’t been sure about the course dash job opportunity, before I got doubtful, I had made a good effort at the interview, or so I’d thought.

I got inna while back from the project and, had to re-write the short story I lost on the train, with my favourite pen.

I spent much of Wednesday afternoon and evening doing work on two people’s computers. Both were very different, but both had owners who really needed the help.



One had been a laptop, whilst the other was a former office tower.



The problems with both machines had been so very different: the laptop needed software, after a fresh installation, whilst the tower had needed oh-so much more.



Unfortunately, when I got home I found that my own machine had developed it’s own set of problems. Working on it had taken me into the early morning and, a point of near exhaustion. Needless to say, I’d not been able to get onto VR!

Got to Karl’s Sunday mid-afternoon, to collect my favourite shows, films and, chat about all things sci-fi.



Whilst I was there, I sat down on Karl’s bed and he got down of the shelf his copy of ‘Harry Potter and The Philosophers Stone’ to ascertain whether or not it was one of the first editions that might be worth real money.



As it happens, from all we learnt, it was all that and more. Simply put, his book ticked all the boxes bar one. And that had meant that although it was a first edition, it wasn’t quite the earliest. But, it was worth money, proper money.



That said; it was as I was thinking of getting ready to go he had said to me, “Do you know how I got it?”



“No…” I’d retorted.



“Well, I was seeing you down to the station and, either going there, or coming back, I saw it in the window of Oxfam; and went back the very next day to get it,” he told me, all smiles.



And, all I could do was say, “Good on you” and mean it, because he is a nice fellow, who I want naught but such things for …





I got back with half an hour before my Father was due to serve the meal: and that gave me the time I’d need to make my gravy, with fresh garlic, cranberry sauce and, a dash of the fine Merlot we would have with our meal.



As a sweet, we had finished the other half of my crumble from the Saturday and, a bit like a fine red wine, I think it and the custard I re-mixed, tasted better the next day.



Then in the evening, while Dad’s hogged the fire as we watched the same documentary, albeit in different rooms, I’d finally got down to do as I’d intended now, for at least a week now and a letter that sorely needed to be written.

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bloodonblood
21:45 Apr 10 2010

You are out there. What in the world are you about? Seek help soon not later.

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Saturday afternoon and, as the sky grew grey overhead I watched hey the Robert Ulrich film ‘Capains Courageous’ sitting in front of the fire, prior to a bath with my Dad. And, both of us were reminiscing on the Spencer Tracy version of the film, which had Bobby Driscoll in, I seem to recall. And though we’d both preferred the older version, the remake does have enough redeeming features to be merit worthy itself. And, it’d been my Dad’s birthday on the 5th so I decided to make him apple and raspberry crumble, to have with custard after the evening meal. So, white robe and black socks on, I padded round the kitchen, preparing and cooking, while Dad watched the end of the movie. And thankfully I was told, “Good crumble”, so my efforts weren’t to no avail.



In the evening we watched a rather intense documentary, which had highlighted the fact that if man doesn’t change his habits in regard to fishing soon, very soon, then there will be no more fish to harvest by 2040.



Now, there’s a fact to throw out there, for people to get their heads around. But, I fear that we’ll ignore this news and continue on till all the Earth’s natural resources are gone, just as man did to Easter Island.

now I know why ******** wanted me to write homoertotica of Godric and Eric.



just seen trueblood seven.

It seems like I’m forever saying, “I don’t go out”, then do: A bit like Thursday night.

I’ve been meaning to go to ‘The Casa’ for years now, as I pass the place regularly, as I go to get my train home.



Well, Nadia who is back from Oslo and, helping on the project with us, has been saying for ages that she’d go there with me.



And, she went, with Amy as well, who got somewhat boisterous, after hat extra half pint. But then, she was a match for the Scouse drunk who started on saying he hated vegetarians and, they should be thrown in the Mersey. Well, as they’re both vegetarian, that hadn’t gone down to well. Then again, she gave as good as she got.



And then, we’d gone to ‘Mello Yello’ off Slater Street, where there was an act on, instead of the live music Amy had expected. And, I met a fellow I first met many years ago, at the time of the first or second, Brouhaha cultural street festival, when I’d acted as a meeter and greeter with a South African theatre troupe, made up of several diverse races. Amy had gone politely nuts with me, as I found it humorous that he hadn’t been able to recall where he knew me from: and I wouldn’t tell him.



I might end up doing a poetry reading with him, or Nadia; or both.

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Lolita
00:09 Mar 06 2010

I am always doing the same thing in regards to going out. Your friends sound interesting. Nothing like an drunken debate where the topic discussed is vegetables. :D

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Lolita
04:55 Mar 08 2010

*a* :P

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It’s a sunny day and, a good day for travelling to poison the homeless & I enjoy the hassle of the evening. And, on the way back, the girl from Austria is taking me to an old-style liverpool pub that has an allegiance to Cuba.

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Sinora
09:37 Mar 05 2010

Good luck with the interview fishface.

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.. off to deliver a present.. to a birthday girl.

last half hour.. getting stoned. sssh.

signed on earlier.

bed soon, shoulder aches.

have an interview on Friday.

I've got an interview on friday.. bout to make a pancake mix for my Dad to use.. as we missed shrove tuesday and, I've had another creative bout.

A piece that I saw on the news Sunday evening, taken into context with a piece I’d just read, made me pause to think.



It had started when I’d been reading through the Radio Times to see what was on, when the title of one programme caught my eye, ‘Why did you kill my father?’



Certainly, it was a provocative title, so when I saw there was an article associated with it I went to read.



It transpires someone suffering with severe mental illness killed the documentaries maker’s father and, like many over a hundred families a year, which’ve encountered something similar, felt let down by the state, when the relative agencies closed ranks, to defend themselves.



Then, after reading the article, I saw the news.



There was a weeping Mother, trying to get her son to give himself up to the law, after allegedly killing his partner and child: and, it seems he’d had a history of severe mental illness and, like those I read of earlier, a history of violence.



Now, when I did pre-social work training, many years ago, we learnt of something ‘new’ that had been introduced: “Care In The Community.”



And, the idea was a good one, close all those old Victorian institutions and give those with mental illness a chance, to live a real Life, in the community.



It was a good theory.



But, “Care In The Community” in the community was a very costly exercise and, without the right staffing, many were left unattended, hence those who end up on the streets attending soup kitchens, those who end up in prison, or those who end up killing…



To this end, I would suggest that a pragmatist such I endeavour to be, would say that this system, which meant well, but was under-funded from the start, has indirectly led to the death’s of many innocent people. And, that really troubles me, as mental illness needs to be attended to properly, not in the haphazard manner that it is.

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ladyofdragonrose
17:29 Mar 04 2010

Here in my home state of Ohio, every year the board of mental illness asks for funding and more often than not its put on the ballot for the city to vote on. Just as we have a council on aging. The idea is help both. And just in the worst case senario, same thing, mental illness causes violence in those that need the help. In many cases some get the help but dont take the medication that they need. In other cases, others take their own life. The help is here for those that need it. And for every one that gets the help there are those that still fall through the cracks. In my situation, The place is called Transitional Living. It helps those that are homeless and dealing with mental illness. These folks do a phenominal job. Helping those with the illness, helps them find jobs and housing and provides free medication. meaning they pay for it. they also help with trying to get other public funds for the individual, social security benefits or whatever else they need. We need more facilities like this and the funding. In times of economic hardships as they are now. Many wont get the help and thats sad. I am one of the lucky ones. LOL also the most stubborn I have to add. But what comes down to is, no funding, no help and no experienced people with the background to help. More can be expected to fall through the cracks.



sorry for the long comment. smiles.

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